This Saturday (April 30), THE FLY was buzzing around College Green in the aftermath of the ‘Homes For All’ march to College Green by homeless support groups.

With only a week to go, many candidates for Bristol Mayor were there and even the Tory had come along to “show his support”, but THE FLY’S compound eyes focused in on an interview being given by Marvin ‘Luther’ Rees to a team of documentary film makers.

THE FLY hovered in and waited for any particularly tasty morsels of Bullshit that might be in the offing. It turned out that the interviewer was asking Marvin what he intended to do for Bristol’s homeless upon taking office.

Marv gave the usual CLAPTRAP about “deals over affordable housing” but whenever the interviewer asked for specifics he became twitchy and stated: “Look if we were in a boxing match, then I’d hardly tell you I was about to land you a right hook, now would I?” (ignoring the fact that neither were in a boxing match. Ed.)

Then the interviewer mentioned the huge and disproportionate salaries that council executives were being paid and whether THE MAN OF THE PEOPLE intended to cut them as mayor.

Marv was seen to visibly recoil in horror. “No no,” he protested, “Be reasonable, I can’t do that! The next day I’d have to face a fleet of lawyers and their unions* would go on strike!”(Presumably the UFCPP Union of Fat Cats on the Public Payroll? Ed.)

When the interviewer remonstrated that other candidates were considering this very move, Marv guffawed and spat out, “Well they aren’t going to be elected, are they? To be elected mayor, you have to be seen to act responsibly…”

At this point THE FLY decided to depart and land on one of the (by now many) smoking, wet turds roundabout. Lapping up the heavenly moisture with its proboscis.