Tag Archives: Liam Nevin

MANAGEMENT NEWS UPDATE

ALAS, after just 18 months of ineffectual bureaucratic middle management in the dull style, it’s time to bid farewell to the city council’s apprentice of the dark arts, babyfaced chief lawyer, LIAM “MALFOY” NEVIN.

This is a very quick exit indeed for the Warwickshire country boy as he becomes the first of Chief Exec LADY GAGA’S expensively assembled senior management team, just launched in the new year, to head for the door.

But why? Did Malfoy JUMP or was he PUSHED? Well, while it’s virtually impossible for a chief legal officer to be fired, rumours persist that Lady Gaga’s dark lord – ‘He Who Will Not Put Anything In Writing’ – private sector-friendly Business Change director MAX WIDE “BOY” was less than impressed with Malfoy’s style in general and his outmoded insistence on adhering to the law in particular.

Clearly such a dated attitude to government isn’t suited to ‘Uncle’ George’s ‘whacky’ buccaneering style of politics where nothing can stand in the way of getting jugglers on street corners to replace traditional public services.

Meanwhile we’re starting to get an insight into WIDEBOY. Trousering a healthy six-figure bung every year to take responsibility for ‘business change’, ‘efficiency’ and other euphemisms for the destruction of public services, Wideboy – a former outsourcing salesman for BT – isn’t one for explaining to the electorate exactly how he’s slicing £80m out of the council’s budget.

At a recent meeting – conveniently arranged in the MIDDLE OF AUGUST – of the new Business Change and Resources Scrutiny Commission of councillors, Wideboy had to deliver THREE reports to councillors detailing his various cuts packages.

However, no written reports were forthcoming from Wideboy. Instead councillors were treated to VERBAL PRESENTATIONS, allowing Wideboy to dodge any accountability whatsoever for what he’s up to.

This characteristic brew of arrogance, idleness and mendacity from a senior boss, being paid a fortune, didn’t seem to trouble our gormless councillors, however, who all seemed happy enough with the dodgy arrangement.

OH SHIT! NOW IT’S HIT THE FAN …

Oh no! It looks like the gypsy community have just poured a large bucket of shit over the heads of council housing director, Nick “No” Hooper, Mayor Fergo, his glamorous assistant, Zoe Sear and council legal boss Liam “Malfoy” Nevin.

Alas, promises from No Hooper that Thursday’s High Court hearing would sort out the ongoing ‘Avonmouth Shit Scandal’ proved to be, er, shit after the council’s legal team, headed up by rookie lawyer Malfoy, got a pasting in the High Court from the gypsies’ smart-arsed brief.

So rather than packing up and leaving as promised by No Hooper, the gypsies are now there for at least another six weeks! And in a remarkable u-turn, No Hooper is now promising to install a portaloo as requested!

It’s another win for the newspaper that counts! Full steam ahead through the shit!

Here’s No Hooper’s climbdown in full:

Subject: RE: Unlawful gypsy and traveller encampment

Date: Fri, 2 May 2014 13:26:35 +0000

Dear Mr Norman

I promised to contact you when we knew the outcome of the High Court hearing on the injunction preventing the Council using its eviction order. This was considered yesterday in the High Court in London. The judge did not agree to lift the injunction, and instead has decided that he will hear both the injunction and the eviction order in due course, once the Council has provided him with more information about the case. That hearing is likely to be in about 6 weeks time. I am sure you will be disappointed by that result, as is the Council. In view of the decision by the judge, and the extended time that the travellers will be where they are currently, I have decided exceptionally that we will provide a portaloo for their sole use whilst they are there. It will be delivered tomorrow.

Yours.

REVEALED: COUNCIL BOSSES IN SECRET ELECTION PLAN TO BACK TORIES

Senior BCC officers implicated in sick election plot

More illuminating news about the gang of overpaid RIGHT-WING DEADBEATS Bristol City Council calls its Senior Leadership Team…

Bristol City Council employees have contacted The BRISTOLIAN to express anger and amazement after discovering that the council’s most senior and well-paid managers have been plotting to use council taxpayer cash and resources to SUPPORT THE TORY PARTY come the general election!

At a meeting in August, members of the council’s Senior Leadership Team – including City Director NICOLA YATES, the now-departed ANGIE RIDGWELL, as well as legal eagle LIAM NEVIN – openly discussed how they could help to get the Conservative-LibDem coalition government re-elected.

Also present was George Ferguson’s spin doctor PETER HOLT, who has since left Bristol City Council for the bright lights of Camden in north London. Could his recent twitter rage at The BRISTOLIAN have anything to do with his panic over us placing the Mayor’s Propaganda Minister in the room during a discussion of dubious legality?

Completing the dastardly cabal were Health supremos ALISON COMLEY and JANET MAXWELL, Neighbourhoods boss MIKE HENNESSEY, ISOBEL CATTERMOLE, who’s responsible for ‘Children, Young People & Skills’, Regeneration guru NEIL TAYLOR, and PAUL TAYLOR, who heads up the ‘Executive Office’.

ROLLCALL OF SHAME: Six figure-salaried senior officers

ROLLCALL OF SHAME: Six figure-salaried senior officers

In their own words they think it’s “important to identify some ‘QUICK WINS’ that could assist in the current Government’s election campaign, these would need to be submitted by January 2014. It was suggested that Boris Johnson’ [sic] vision be used to inform this piece of work.”

Just what relevance London’s Tory mayor Boris Johnson has for people in Bristol isn’t made clear – after all we have our own privately-educated MAYORAL BUFFOON to contend with. But what is clear is that these management muppets are brazenly breaking the law by promoting their own personal allegiances whilst in what are meant to be politically neutral roles.

'WE SHOULD COPY BORIS & SUPPORT THE TORIES'

‘Copy Boris, support the Conservaties’ agrees Senior Leadership Team

Matters are made worse by the fact that the government these unelected managers SECRETLY CONSPIRE to support is wrecking local government and the safety net of the welfare state.

The very things you’d think Bristol’s council officers should be protecting for its citizens.

There’s only one solution for this kind of shameless behaviour – sack these barmy bosses NOW!

LADY GAGA PORTRAIT JOY

lady Gaga portrait

The BRISTOLIAN can EXCLUSIVELY unveil Bristol City Council’s new official portrait of City Director Nicola “Lady Gaga” Yates, created by local artist and Twitter enthusiast @guriben.

The portrait of the city’s wealthy first lady of local government will accompany all official Bristol City Council announcements and publications by Lady Gaga from Monday and it will also appear on a range of Conservative general election material from next year.

MAYOR FERGO told The BRISTOLIAN, “The portrait is magnificent. It perfectly encapsulates Nicola, her character, intellect and not insubstantial beauty. Well done to Guriben and I look forward to an interpretation of me.”

“Nicola Yates will be responsible for the delivery of the Mayor and council's vision”

“Nicola Yates will be responsible for the delivery of the Mayor and council’s vision,” says £160k Nicola Yates with tongue firmly in cheek

Lady Gaga has been described as “satisfied” with her official portrait and is said to be keen to see the painting displayed in the City Museum and Art Gallery where she may fit in nicely alongside some of  Bristol’s  other famous Conservative political figures like the slave trader EDWARD COLSTON and that old reactionary EDMUND BURKE.

The BRISTOLIAN will be commissioning further portraits from Guriben soon for some of our favourite local government officers such as country boy solicitor LIAM ‘MALFOY’ NEVIN, the less than magical new chief legal officer; ANGIE ‘PAIDWELL’ RIDGWELL, the generously remunerated chief bean counter and a farewell portrait of PR man for himself, PETER ‘CLAUDIA-JEAN’ HOLT.

Have you painted a portrait of your favourite local government officer or councillor? Why not send it in?

The best artistic rendering of GARY HOPKINS will win a prize…

‘THREATS’ OVER DOCKS DEATH

Rush to silence whistleblowers over ‘accidental death of a cyclist’ that could have been avoided

Counsel for the Council Liam ‘Malfoy’ Nevin uses dark arts to silence docks death whistleblowers?

Bristol City Council’s new legal boss Liam ‘Malfoy’ Nevin is trying to wave his magic wand and put an INVISIBILITY CLOAK OF SECRECY over events leading up to the death of cyclist Sean Phillips, who plunged into the city docks outside the M Shed museum in early March.

Last year the council’s Docks Office suggested putting railings up at this very site – only to be vociferously overruled by a gaggle of the city’s great and good. Among objectors to improved safety were (of course) His Royal Gorgeousness St George of Bristol; the director of the ss Great Britain Trust, Matthew Tanner; skipper of the Matthew, Rob Salvidge; and the local Tories’ terminal buffoon, Richard ‘Bunter’ Eddy, who called the proposal “EXCESSIVE NANNYING”.

Alas, they were all wrong – and it took the unfortunate death of Mr Phillips to prove it. Now council bosses and their chief solicitor Malfoy are working overtime to cover arse. Malfoy has already roundly rejected a Freedom of Information request asking for the documents that informed the decision to not put up railings on the site, claiming the release of this information might prejudice the forthcoming Coroner’s Inquest into the death. A claim described by one health and safety lawyer we spoke to as “BOLLOCKS”.

Meanwhile, just a few weeks back a senior council manager appeared at a staff meeting at the Docks Office and threatened staff. They were told to shut up and say absolutely nothing to anybody about the case or they may be dismissed. Because the best way to ensure the safety of the public is to gag and sack honest, competent public service workers, isn’t it?

Docks staff should be very wary, and should perhaps brush up on whistleblowing law. Malfoy and his management gang are clearly dabbling in the dark arts and creating a cover-up. The intention of which will be to push the blame as far down the line as they can and well away from this city’s illustrious ‘leaders’.

And who’s furthest down the line? Why, the gagged staff at the council’s Docks Office of course!

NEW BRISTOLIAN HITS THE STREETS

The latest edition of Bristol’s premier investigative scandal sheet is out now, packed with the stories that the other papers can’t be bothered to cover, including…

‘THREATS’ OVER DOCKS DEATH

Rush to silence whistleblowers over ‘accidental death of a cyclist’ that could have been avoided

SELF-POLICING ACADEMY IN RACISM ROW

‘No institutional racism here’ says institution – case closed…

NO REFUNDS!

Council holds onto cash thanks to major problems with new ‘cost cutting’ system

UPDATE: “BRISTOLIAN GOT MY MONEY BACK!”

Intervention by The Bristolian wins young mum refund!

B.R.T: AN OMNIBUS SHAMBLES

Bridge row as transport scheme fiasco trundles on – George’s Stalingrad?

HORSEWORLD BOSS RIDES CHARITY INTO THE GROUND

Rehoming centre heading for knacker’s yard?

TROUGH OVERSEAS AGAIN!

Mayor’s expensive Euro jaunt habit exposed

Plus: May Gurney recycling contract blackmail; Bristol Pound celebrates Mayor’s salary; local councillor annoyed that expenses won’t cover his girlfriend; Council lies over number of gagging orders; and more from Gus Hoyty-Toyty’s Cabinet Diary.

All in your super, soaraway monthly muckraker The Bristolian!

See the Distribution page for where to get your copy…

THE BRISTOLIAN – WEBSITE SEARCH LEAGUE TABLES

It’s been little more than a month since The BRISTOLIAN was relaunched, and already we are seeing a lot of search engine activity on some of our new best chums…

Currently in the lead – if we bundle together searches for ‘Malfoy’ as well – is baby-faced out-of-his-depth council counsel LIAM NEVIN. He nudges just ahead of ‘acting up’ City Director ANGIE ‘PAIDWELL’ RIDGWELL.

Then in joint third place come buffoonish former council boss GRAHAM SIMS, and slash-happy Mayor HIS ROYAL GEORGENESS.

Meanwhile, pulling up the rear we have a three donkey race: accounts-troubled BCC Facilities Manager TONY HARVEY, incompetent ex-top cop COLIN PORT, and in a surprise re-entry, Nevin’s predecessor STEPHEN MCNAMARA.

Of course, we have no idea how much of this frantic googling is down to the individuals concerned making constant vanity searches on their own names – perhaps a Freedom of Information request is in order..?

HARRY POTTER AND THE USELESS SOLICITOR

Little change at the City Council Legal Department as keen ‘Bristolian’ reader McNamara replaced by Nevin

Liam Nevin as Malfoy plus Stephen McNamara

Can we at The Bristolian be the first to welcome Bristol City Council’s new boy wonder legal boss LIAM ‘MALFOY’ NEVIN to town?

The spooky fresh-faced former public schoolboy recently jumped ship as Town Clerk in Stratford-upon-Avon to take over from our old friend STEPHEN ‘LYCRA’ MCNAMARA, after the sweaty-crotched baldy-head took early retirement to spend more time with his cycling accessories and Bristol Rovers plaque of honour for his outstanding contribution to local stadium planning in the south of the city.

It will be a hard act to follow, even though McNamara’s ‘retirement’ takes him only 500 yards from his old office to a cushy CONsultancy at the gated complex of glossy law firm Veale Wasbrough Vizards – best known for representing Catholic private school St Benedict’s during a paedo priest scandal.

Following such an IMPRESSIVELY OAFISH predecessor, rosy-cheeked Malfoy really has to pull out all the stops in his drive to demonstrate he can be an even bigger tool of the law, while taking a very interesting approach to managing the huge cuts required in his fiefdom.

In mid-February, on discovering he runs a legal department that can no longer afford, err, lawyers, Malfoy thought it would be a terrific wheeze to send – instead of, y’know, a qualified solicitor or something – one of his secretaries down to the County Court to represent the council at a hearing.

Alas, the judge was less than impressed with this fine example of local authority “efficiency saving” and sent said secretary packing back to Shitty Hall to tell Malfoy that m’lud would hold him in CONTEMPT OF COURT if ever he dispatched an unqualified representative to his court again.

A contempt of court charge – that will definitely save Bristol’s taxpayers lots of money!

Well done, Malfoy. You’re going to be fun to have around aren’t you?