BRISTOL’S MAYOR THROWS A WOBBLY OVER YOUR HUMBLE ‘SMITER’: RED-FACED RED PANTS DOESN’T GET THE BIG PICTURE

This man RUNS OUR CITY!

This man RUNS OUR CITY!

“YOU could hear him yelling with rage at the other end of the corridor,” says our man on the third floor at Shitty Hall. And the reason for the RED-TROUSERED LOTHARIO’s tantrum?

Well, it seems some wag put a copy of our last issue, The BRISTOLIAN #4.8, on the nightmayor’s desk with a friendly post-it note asking, “WOULD YOU LIKE A FRAMED COPY?”

The furious farce-meister was not amused – and had to be calmed by bag-carriers, who persuaded him that sending the note for HANDWRITING ANALYSIS would make him look like even more of an idiot!

Elsewhere at Shitty Hall, one worker put in some quality overtime. Carefully copying our last issue, placing them in envelopes with lovingly printed address labels and posting them to council managers via internal mail!

And a shout out to our distro team too who popped in to the latest Audit Committee meeting at Shitty Hall at 9.30am on Friday 8 November, just to hand a copy to every committee member so they were properly informed about the mess they’re overseeing!

Obviously panicking council officers called the police! On arriving, and learning what this ’emergency’ was, a police officer pointed out to the pant-wetting councillors and managers that going to a public meeting isn’t yet a crime.

And as for the newspaper? “You don’t have to read it,” they explained.

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