Monthly Archives: March 2014

MARKET FARCES: SPUNKFACE DANGLE HORROR

**** PRIVATE SECTOR TWIT DIDN’T LIFT A FINGER TO HELP HIS HUMILIATED EMPLOYEE HARVEY ****

**** EGOMANIAC BOSS COULDN’T HANDLE ‘LOSS OF FACE’ ****

Web ExclusiveMoonlighting private sector property boss, ROBERT “SPUNKFACE” ORRETT, took over line management duties for death riddle markets boss TONY HARVEY from MIKE “TAX EFFICIENT” WATTS in December 2012 soon after the markets The Markets Filewhistleblower had been successfully fired by Harvey and the humiliating audit report lay unread on Spunkface’s desk.

However, BNP Paribas employee, Spunkface was no new broom. he was more a stinking, shit-stained old mop soaked in the diseased and decaying excrement of Harvey and his useless old boss Mike “Tax Efficient” Watts.

For while Spunkface may now be publicly breaking down in tears in meetings over the grizzly fate of his employee, HE DID BUGGER-ALL to try to protect Harvey from being exposed and humiliated in the press when he had the chance.

The BRISTOLIAN understands a meeting took place with Orrett in early December 2012 to discuss the fact that a whistleblower had been proven to be unfairly removed from his job by Harvey and that all of the twenty-odd detailed allegations regarding markets finances remained “UNRESOLVED” after a pathetic six month non-investigation by the council’s rubbish Internal Audit department.

The BRISTOLIAN has been told, “Orrett basically said the investigation was over – he was resolving it by leaving it unresolved – and that what happened from now on was up to him and none of our business. He was not interested in the slightest in negotiation, discussion or any form of conciliation. He just looked down his snooty fucking nose at us.

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Spunkface – he might be crying now but he did NOTHING to help his employee, Harvey.

“It was clear the whistleblower had reached the end of line within the council. The council were more concerned with victimising and screwing a whistleblower than investigating their own bosses for potential fraud, theft and mismanagement of public money.

“It’s hardly surprising the whistleblower turned to the press and to the radical press at that. They’re the ones who will give scumbags like Spunkface and Harvey as good as they give in the total bastard stakes.”

And us total bastards at The BRISTOLIAN can report that once we started, early last year, rubbing the council’s nose in Harvey’s role in markets, neither Spunkface nor any other council manager bothered to contact the paper, the whistleblower or his union to attempt to resolve the situation or allege any inaccuracies in our stories (because there aren’t any).

In the ultra-macho management culture favoured by Spunkface and Harvey there’s presumably no place for compromise, climb-downs, loss of face or apology?

Spunkface, literally, preferred to let Harvey dangle than reconsider a crap decision. What a silly boy.

MORE MAYORAL SCANDAL AS FARUK GETS HIS PIPES CLEANED – AT YOUR EXPENSE!

It’s not all austerity doom-and-gloom in Bristol – at least not if you are LORD MAYOR FARUK CHOUDHURY.

The Easton councillor has enjoyed swanning around in his expensive red robes and fancy tricorn hat since being voted in by his Shitty Hall pals last May.

But with his term as Mayor coming to a close in a few months, it seems that the sword-wielding ceremonial head of Bristol has let the outdated trappings of office go to his head, even as hundreds of council staff wait to learn whether they’re getting the chop under the £90 million-worth of budget cuts expected soon from the real Mayor, Fat-Fingered Fergo.

Yes, Lord Mayor Choudhury has greenlit the £112,000 cleaning of organ pipes at his own personal church, the council-owned St. Mark’s Chapel at the bottom of Park Street!

Whether people in his ward think that’s a good use of the salaries of three or four workers will be clearer when he faces reelection next year…