OLD MARKET THE TWATS ARE COMING

hipster

Look out OLD MARKET – the hipsters are coming! Beards, fixies, overpriced coffee, skinny jeans, organic food, high rents and low IQs may be heading to one of the few shopping streets left in the inner city not yet captured by THE TWATS.
However, the formation of a new company – the OLD MARKET ASSEMBLY Ltd – by the gentrifying goons behind Stokes Croft’s Canteen and No 1 Harbourside, including Mayor Greedy Pants himself, surely spells the end of Old Market as we currently know it?
Although we’re not able to state exactly what ‘The Old Market Assembly’ thinks it is yet. You might as well assume it will involve some artisanal marketing waffle and a craft beer bar furnished with old tat flogging locally sourced food and featuring sub-standard jazz musicians most weekends.
A funeral for Old Market will be held soon.

4 thoughts on “OLD MARKET THE TWATS ARE COMING

  1. O.M.P.C.W.

    Comunique from : THE OLD MARKET PROVISIONAL CLASS WAR to THE OLD MARKET ASSEMBLY:
    Message reads.

    To ,
    George Robin Paget Ferguson
    James Michael Dawes Dingle
    James Ellery Pike
    Matthew Allan Pike
    Gary Derham

    DON’T FORGET TO BRING A TOOL.

    Reply
  2. Interested Observer

    Its amazing that since the resurfacing of West Street 2 months ago the parking bays have yet to be repainted thus allowing the contractors working on the old Lloyd’s bank building to to park up to 9 vans a day all day for free. Thats a lot of money not going into the parking ticket machine on a weekly basis, and they have been there since just after the resurfacing when the renovations started, coincidence? , me thinks not.

    Reply
  3. Dan

    I don’t really understand the point of this article… all of the criticism is just negative generalisation. If you want to have ago at establishment surely the national chains that are homogenizing our high streets are the targets. These guys are supporting local, not greedy in their pricing and making good quality food. Why don’t you want that on your doorstep?

    Reply

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