HEAD BOY’S GENDER SHAME

THE EMPEROR'S NEW WAGES

The council’s recent announcement of a four per cent average ‘GENDER PAY GAP’ between men and women’s pay at the council disguised some DISTURBING ANOMALIES. Please step forward Colin “Head Boy” Molton, the man who no one appointed as head of the council’s Growth & Regeneration department on a pro rata rate of £350k a year.

News reaches The BRISTOLIAN that Head Boy’s department, which GIFTS PUBLIC LAND AND ASSETS TO CORPORATE DEVELOPERS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS, has the largest gender pay gap of any department at the council with the boys trousering 22 PER CENT MORE for performing secret favours for corporate high rollers than the little ladies back in the office doing the work. The days of men in suits with dubious morals earning big money for seeing each other all right are not behind us then.

We’re also informed that the pay gap in Head Boy’s department would be CONSIDERABLY WORSE if his own pay packet was actually taken into account. However, as an “interim”, his £1,500 day rate isn’t included in any pay stats collected by the council for some obscure reason that no one understands. Rumours from councillors also suggest that there’s been some “GENDER BEHAVIOUR ISSUES” in Molton’s department that aren’t being addressed by this wealthy male boss.

Why the hell are we still paying unapologetic sexist twats a fortune to run things at the council?

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