Tag Archives: Kerry McCarthy

LABOUR GOTH’S BARMY LAMA RUSE

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Bristol East MP, Kerry “The Banshee” McCarthy came up with an exotic excuse for not attending this year’s LABOUR PARTY CONFERENCE.  A conference where the ambitious centrist Labour MP would have been surrounded by the hordes of CORBYNITES who, in recent years, have ruined her slow and steady ascent up Labour’s greasy pole.

I’M MEETING THE DALAI LAMA,” explained the pint-sized goth to Bristol East members curious to know why she had decided to forego the thrills of the party conference. However, we learn, the Tibetan god among men allegedly cancelled his urgent appointment with the MP at the last moment and she had to stay home alone in Bristol instead.

Om Mani Padme Hum as they don’t say at St George Labour Club.

IN THE COURT OF TSAR MARVIN

Moseley: at a brewery. But could he organise the piss up?

A well-placed source tells The BRISTOLIAN that the Reverend Rees and his two posh boy advisors at the council KEVIN “Don’t Mention the Private Education” SLOCOMBE and BEN “Oswald” MOSELEY have “totally lost it” and are “selling Bristol off to corporates in exchange for crappy short term fixes that are doomed to fail the city”.

“It’s like the final days of the court of Tsar Nicholas II having a NEW LABOUR STRATEGY MEETING up there,” we’re told of Marvin and his court cronies upstairs in the Counts Louse.

“Despite all three having a history in the Labour movement, none of them has any interest in listening to anyone in the movement – especially their own STAFF, UNIONS or anyone in their local PARTY. Instead, a rolling roster of expensive corporate goons, proposing one daft “strategy” after another for a large fee get full house room and their arses thoroughly licked by the trio.”

The promotion of Oswald Moseley over the summer to run Marvin’s executive office has especially raised a few eyebrows at the Counts Louse and beyond. The post is supposed to be a NON-POLITICAL senior local government officer role. Although Oswald has a long history with the local LABOUR PARTY. Including a stint working for Bristol East MP, Kerry “And the Banshees” McCarthy, and, in 2012, running Marvin’s losing mayoral campaign – widely regarded as an abysmal shambles!

Oswald is hardly a shining beacon for objective, non-political senior council officers is he? And, questions are beginning to be asked about a recruitment process that identified the Rev Rees’s FRIEND and former CAMPAIGN MANAGER, Oswald, as the best person for the job. Is this another dubious public appointment made to appease a marginal mayor that will sell Bristol short?

Slocombe: “Don’t mention the private school education” or basic competence

Meanwhile Slocombe, supposedly a TRADE UNIONIST and the one political appointment the Reverend is allowed to make, seems to be attempting to square his new found love for ultra-New Labour anti-worker corporate solutions to any and every problem with his trade union contacts.

We’re informed that Slocombe has been SKULKING AROUND meeting various senior regional union bureaucrats from the council’s unions begging them to lay-off the Reverend and Bristol City Council generally. Something many rank and file members, especially from Unite, may not be happy about.

“Everything these three are promoting is a FUCKING STUPID corporate solution that takes the city backwards to Thatcher, punishes the workforce and strongly rewards a small group of managers and unaccountable corporate consultants” says our source.

“The City Office, the management restructure; the “One Bristol” plan to abandon the voluntary sector, the vicious cuts. All of them have been devised by temporary consultants and interims with an eye on a BIG PRIVATE SECTOR PAY DAY down the line.”

“This is a corporate takeover of Bristol City Council. Rees, his two advisors and their revolving door of corporate Rasputins must be stopped.”

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAM-A-LOT #1

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAM-A-LOT, BOOK ONE
Verses 1-5: Blood Meridian

1. As is recounted in the ancient tomes of Frawd and Skandol, foul property guardian company CAMELOT was entrusted by evil robber baron Lord Red Pants to ‘protect’ seven empty properties. And in 2015, Scam-a-lot then attempted to evict its guardian tenants at Broomhill EPH to make way for an UNLAWFUL SUB-LET to ‘Blood’ Meridian, an employment agency. Yet lo, ye peasants revolted and refused to go quietly, contacting Councillor Mike Woolacott and Kerry McCarthy MP, whilst also requesting an FOI to see the Broomhill contract between BCC and Scam-a-lot.

2. Thus BCC called a halt to this process, and the guardians remained in place. However, Scam-a lot simply brought Meridian to Brentry EPH, another BCC property entrusted to its care. And herein, after evicting the existing residents through INTIMIDATION by Meridian gang masters, it installed successive relays of more than 30 migrant workers, each being forced to pay £90 a week cash-in-hand for sub-standard accommodation! Yet when Meridian was questioned about why it had abandoned its plans for Broomhill, it failed to mention any BCC intervention – and simply stated that Broomhill was a ‘shithole’ – ie. unfit even for its minimum wage work gangs.

3. And lo, ‘Blood’ Meridian became a single ‘property guardian’ on the premises! This entry of a private company as a fictitious individual paying a ‘fee’ is the only written record for the masses of short term contract-workers moved through Brentry over the past year – while their labour was sucked dry by Blood Meridian.

4. And the shocked angels in the firmament around City Hall do now chant in multitudes across the heavens: “Surely it is not legal for Scam-a-lot to sub-let Brentry EPH to a ‘single guardian’ that is in reality an employment company, and in which to house its legions of underpaid workers? Does this foul deed not breach Scam-a-lot’s contract with BCC? And fie, fie, and thrice fie, why didst not BCC intervene when Scam-a-lot did this a second time? Are BCC happy for their properties to be used by blood-sucking parasite gang masters???”

5. And it is further written that PAUL LLOYD, ye disgraced and crooked Regional Manager of Scam-a-lot in the South-West, even claimeth that he “never visits Brentry” and has no idea what is going on there!

More verses of this woeful tale of wickedness shall be recounted in Ye Chronicles of Scam-a-lot, Books Two to Twelve, run exclusively in THE BRISTOLIAN

Identity has no class

The Bristol 24/7 VANITY PUBLISHING website for E3 media bosses, Mike “GORDON” Bennett and Dougal “FAT BASTARD” Templeton, gushed about “Girl Power” in a patronising headline on May 8 after Bristol returned four female MPs to Westminster.

What the website didn’t point out in its usual rush to sell Bristol as THE NEW PARADISE OF URBAN COOL is that all THREE of the city’s Labour MPs now live in leafy BRISTOL WEST. An area of town where property prices and rents are through the roof and the poor are being FORCED OUT on a daily basis by gentrifiers.

Newbie Bristol West MP “FASCIST GROOVE” Thangam Debonaire lives in wealthy hippy outpost, St Werburghs; Bristol East MP, Kerry “AND THE BANSHEES” McCarthy, opts for a dockside apartment in Redcliff and new South Bristol MP Karin “WHO?” Smyth lives in the Georgian splendour of leafy Cotham.

All very nice indeed. But what does this tell us about the WEALTH and STATUS of our Labour MPs? Do these MPs, all homeowners from professional backgrounds who aren’t really short of a penny or two, adequately represent the whole of this city?

Or are we supposed not to ask because they’re ALL WOMEN and this trumps any issues around wealth, status and class?

Surely if the Labour Party are serious about reconnecting with communities and their electorate they’re going to have to start handing senior party roles in Bristol to people who aren’t middle class, POLITICALLY CORRECT SNOBS and to people who have genuine connections to the communities they claim to represent?

ANTI-‘SCROUNGER’ MP, ON THE SCROUNGE!

All of Bristol’s MP’s have claimed money for energy bills it has emerged. The news comes just after the huge price rises have been forced on the public by energy firms.

Skidmore the prize winner!

Charlotte Leslie – Tory MP for Bristol North West – said she’s a bit skint at the minute… Erm, okay, what happened to the £66,000 we pay you?

Meanwhile over in Bristol East Labour’s Kerry McCarthy racked up the highest energy claim of £625.26. And what did she have to say for herself? “That seems like quite a lot because I don’t even heat my London home.” Reassuring words indeed!

How ever much sympathy you have for these poorly paid mites, spare no sympathy for Conservative Chris ‘Skidmark’ Skidmore, MP for Kingswood. Skidmark is ALWAYS available to moan in the press about the poor being so bloody well off because of all the benefits they get.  He pushes the need for further cuts to every benefit under the sun. He voted to SLASH disability benefit while being a member of a parliamentary group which campaign for disabled peoples causes!

Last month he was heard in a meeting at the Tory Party conference saying the cuts “haven’t left people lying dead in the street.” That’s a good marker for government policy – “Are people dying? Not quite, well, it must be going fine!”

On his own benefits he’s not said a word! But he hates benefits sooo much, it leaves us wondering at BRISTOLIAN HQ why he claimed the £260.14 for his gas bill. Chris please feel free to contact us and let us know!

Skidmore went to the £12,840 a year Bristol Grammar School then on to Oxford University. After NEVER having to struggle in his life, he’s somehow ended up an expert on what people in hard times need.

With your claim of £260.14 for gas, Chris you win our Massive Hypocrite Toff of the Year award!!

BRISTOL EAST MP KERRY MCCARTHY FALLS DOWN BURMESE HOLE

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Myanmar what a palaver as emo MP goes for a burton in Burma

News is emerging that the pint-sized goth MP for Bristol East Kerry McCarthy had to conduct a high-level diplomatic meeting with Nobel Peace Prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi from low down in a hole in the ground somewhere in Myanmar after a DISASTROUS ACCIDENT (more details here).

The MP has subsequently complained that people “are more interested in me falling down a hole than me spending a historic day with Aung San Suu Kyi at her first party conference.”

Can’t imagine why that would be.