Tag Archives: Labour Party Conference

REVEREND REES’S PIECES

REVEREND’S ROOST TRIGGERS COUNTS LOUSE SHRED-A-THON

A well-placed source tells us that it’s slowly dawning on the boss class at the Counts Louse that the Reverend Rees has NO HOPE OF WINNING THE MAYORAL ELECTION next May and will not be serving another term as they had anticipated. This, we learn, has resulted in some especially long queues at Counts Louse shredding facilities as “NO ONE WANTS TO END UP IN COURT”.

What have the Reverend, his PR bag man “Slo” Kev Slocombe and their dubious corporate property man “Head Boy” Molton been up to for the last few years then? Are the Reverend’s chickens en route to their roost? Will it require ANOTHER REPORT from STEVE BUNDRED to get to the bottom of all this?

Maybe someone at the Counts Louse should give Steve a call now?

PRIME IDIOT

“I WANT TO BE PRIME MINISTER,” announced the Reverend Rees to some unfortunate young people who somehow got trapped in a room and forced to listen to our Mayor’s meaningless jargon-riddled drivel at the LABOUR PARTY CONFERENCE last month.

What a great idea from the Reverend. Apart from the limited intellect, the thin skin, the lack of character, an Inability to lead, the hopelessly poor judgement, the crap Thatcherite politics, the corporate free market obsession and the dodgy gang of right wing evangelical mates he’s promoted, WHAT’S TO STOP THE REVEREND GETTING ELECTED TO RUN THE COUNTRY?

Surely even the Labour Party isn’t that dumb?

DESELECTION NEWS

The question on the lips of many Labour members in Bristol – “How the fuck do we get rid of the Reverend Rees”? – remains UNANSWERED by the Bristol Labour Party less than 18 months before the next mayoral election.

Members have been told that any selection process for their mayoral candidate in 2020 will be subject to a ‘TRIGGER BALLOT’. A process where affiliated organisations such as constituency parties, trade unions and other largely mysterious and unknown Labour Party interest groups get a vote to decide whether there should a selection process or whether the Reverend Rees should get another shot at mayor UNCHALLENGED.

Many local Labour members are unhappy with the trigger ballot process, claiming that a decision on whether to have a selection process should be ONE MEMBER ONE VOTE and not left to the Labour Party’s labyrinthine bureaucracies and rule book to decide.

Unfortunately members appear to have LOST that battle already.  Instead, local members are left scratching their heads at the nature of this ballot they do not want after trigger ballot rules, largely used to challenge sitting MPs, were CHANGED at the last Labour Conference. Now, nobody seems sure what that means for a mayoral trigger ballot in Bristol.

Local Labour members have been told that the local party and its regional office is “seeking clarification on what the changes to the trigger ballot process mean for the Mayoral selection”. But the clock is now running down FAST.

Will the Reverend get returned to office due to administrative incompetence and bureaucratic inertia against the wishes of the majority of Labour members in Bristol?