Tag Archives: Mayoral election

SECRET HUSTINGS

Leigh-Court-Header2A new phenomenon is emerging at this year’s mayoral election – THE SECRET HUSTINGS. Apparently, petrified mainstream candidates, scared of the Bristolian public – and some of the other independent candidates – and the questions they might ask, are meeting carefully selected audiences at UNDISCLOSED VENUES to answer questions.

The main victims of this process – so far – have been INDEPENDENT MAYORAL CANDIDATES Christine “Pete” Townsend and Paul “Mister Tea” Savile who are deliberately NOT invited to these hustings. Coincidentally, both have been raising difficult questions for the other candidates.

Townsend has been highlighting the dubious practice of SELECTION BY WEALTH AND CLASS in Bristol’s secondary schools while Savile has been addressing issues around street homelessness, particularly the council’s REFUSAL to open any of their buildings for temporary shelter to the growing number of people living on the streets.

This situation has already created one wholesale FARCE with Savile visiting FIVE different venues in search of a SECRET HUSTINGS on housing issues. The hustings were attended by the establishment-approved candidates (George, Labour, Lib Dem, Green and Tory) and a selected audience of polite and non-troublemaking housing “professionals” and “experts”.

Savile did eventually locate the meeting and even managed to blag his way in. But how many more wankers are there in this city prepared to run fiascos like this over the next two months under the guise of democracy?

The Bristolian also learns that Mayor Venturer, Labour’s Marvin “Luther” Rees and Tory, Charles “Thicko” Lucas attended another SECRET HUSTINGS at the Business West HQ at LEIGH COURT MANSION in February.

We understand the Merchant Venturer front organisation held a 45-minute audience with each candidate who were, no doubt, GRILLED on their acceptability to the city’s SHADY BUSINESS ELITE. Luther Rees, in particular, is very tight-lipped about this secret meeting and what he’s promised them.

Let’s hope he hasn’t got one public message for us and another secret one for the wealthy elite!

MAYORAL CANDIDATES IN GERBIL SHOCKER

MAYORAL CANDIDATES IN GERBIL SHOCKERThe two BIG BEASTS of Bristol’s mayoral election campaign have come out of the electoral starting blocks like an especially irritating pair of SMALL FURRY ANIMALS squeaking for their dinner.

Mayor Bullshit launched his CAR CRASH on a windy February night at the former Bridewell Police Station, now a wanky arts venue for the underemployed middle classes, in front of about 20 supporters.

The posh droning bore, naturally, had NOTHING of interest to say but took a long time to say it anyway. Promising more bloody resident parking zones (or taxes as we call them here) and to set up some committee of his WEALTHY BUSINESS FRIENDS to solve poverty in South Bristol, he might as well have ditched the speech altogether and just stood there with  ‘LOSER‘ written on his forehead in marker pen instead.

The clueless old buffoon also had a pop at all the people demanding he open up the books of his DODGY Green Capital company – Bristol 2015 Ltd – funded with public money and run in TOP SECRECY by his business mates and council fat cat bosses.

“To fuss about the cost of sandwiches totally misses the point and is an insult to those who have given their time and expertise for Bristol’s good,” blustered the SAD FOOL. Probably sending a few more thousand votes south while failing to understand he needs to account for the £8.5m of public money he’s spent on TROUGHING with his pals.

Marvin “LUTHER” Rees launched his campaign three days later on Valentine’s Day with a bizarre pitch based around ‘Love Bristol: Love Labour’ balloons and a talk from his mum!

Luther Rees then went on to deliver one of his WAFFLING BOILERPLATE speeches on inequality, diversity, “no-one left behind” and how great the Bristol Labour Party is. So dazzling and original was Luther’s speech, it even featured on page 14 of the next day’s Nazi Post!

Luther’s main promise was that he would build 800 homes a year by GIVING our council land to private developers to build ‘AFFORDABLE HOUSING’ we won’t be able to afford.

He also promised that victims of domestic violence and abuse will be given TOP, BAND 1, PRIORITY for rehousing. Missing the point that it’s not the administrative banding exercise that’s the problem, it’s the fact there’s no fucking social housing left to give to anyone anymore!

 Oh well, only two more months of this electoral bollocks left before council officers continue running the council the way they want to anyway …

LABOUR BUSH CONFUSION

Bush

The level of utter confusion in our local Labour Party was highlighted recently following the death over Christmas of the popular St George West Labour councillor, RON STONE.

Among many tributes paid to Ron was one from parents and friends fighting the closure of the BUSH RESIDENTIAL CENTRE in Knowle. This centre provides support and respite care to some of the most seriously ill and disabled children in the city and beds at the centre are currently being cut.

The Bush campaigners praised Ron for his unstinting support for their cause. Which is odd because the politician behind the closure is Ron’s Labour Party colleague and member of Mayor Fagin’s ridiculous ‘RAINBOW CABINET‘ of hapless nobodies, Barbara “YES GEORGE” Massey.

Massey is on record SUPPORTING the cuts to the Bush, claiming the money will provide more families with ‘short breaks’. Although she’s UNABLE to explain what service will be available – if any – to the desperately vulnerable kids losing their places at the Bush.

It’ll be interesting to see, then, how Labour’s misfiring mayoral candidate Marvin “LUTHER” Rees deals with this issue. Will he share old school socialist and trade unionist Ron’s view? Or will he side with his senior NEW LABOUR colleague, Massey, and opt to support the ‘MODERNISING‘ market solution for vulnerable kids?

Or maybe he’s got a THIRD WAY? Sit on the fence, say nothing and hope nobody notices that his party has two opposing views on the issue – one for brutal cuts to disabled children’s services; the other against brutal cuts to, er, disabled children’s services!

MEET TINY TIM MARVIN’S SPIN

Lezard

In an effort to boost his flagging campaign – drenched in tedious corporate jargon and uninspiring political correctness – Labour’s mayoral candidate, MARVIN “LUTHER” REES, has found himself a trade union PR and self-styled Corbynite – “TINY” Tim Lezard – to polish his hapless image.

Is this Marvin’s latest effort to get some electoral traction out on the suburban estates he needs to capture back from UKIP and apathy if he wants to defeat Ferguson’s overwhelming majority among Bristol West’s wealthy liberals?

But is Tiny Tim the man to deliver these estates? A Corbynite mired in the tired old politics and language of trade union bureaucrats? Is it what South Bristol’s crying out for?

SOUTH BRISTOL BIRDWATCH

Marvin DodoClaims by birdwatchers in South Bristol that they’ve spotted a rare example of the LESSER TRUSTED REES in the Hartcliffe area have been debunked by experts.

“There were a couple of sightings of the Lesser Trusted Rees back in autumn 2012 in south Bristol,” explained our man at the RSPB, “but these were due to a seasonal appearance of a large flock of RED VOTE GRABBERS in the low lying Ashton Vale area, which the Rees can hide behind.

“South Bristol is not the Rees’s natural habitat. They tend to be intimidated by RED-TROUSERED ALBATROSSES in Bedminster/Southville and by resident COOTS in the Hartcliffe area. They much prefer the sunny uplands of the North and West of the city among  the Great Gentrifying Geese, Wealthy Plovers and Peecee Warblers.

“Since we’re not anticipating the reappearance of any Red Vote Grabbers until early spring, it’s unlikely a Lesser Trusted Rees would appear before that. Although, even then, we doubt any Reeses would venture as far south as Hartcliffe.”

The RSPB does anticipate a busy spring of other bird rarities in south Bristol, however. These may include a strong showing of Yellow Sitting Ducks, an annoying gaggle of Green Tits and the odd Tory Twat.

LOSERS FOR GEORGE #2: DOING THE BUSINESS?

abdul_1Mayor George is certainly racking up support among the city’s FAILED POLITICIANS. Joining the Greens’ Darren “BUGGER” Hall in supporting Mayor Crap for another term in 2016 is Lib Dem Abdul “Wannabe” Malik.

Malik was briefly a councillor in Easton 2005 – 2009 when he lobbied hard and FAILED to get nominated for the post of Lord Mayor. He then went on to LOSE a number of council elections in Easton before LOSING AGAIN in this year’s general election in Bristol East.

Malik has told the NAZI POST and Ferguson’s in-house website BRISTOL 24/7 (twice!), “as a businessman, I can see firsthand the benefits that the Mayor is bringing to Bristol.”

Well, it’s certainly nice to hear that wealthy local businessmen are benefiting from Mayor Backhanders’ regime even if disabled children in need of respite care aren’t.

The Lib Dems are now in the process of throwing this disloyal twat out of their party we understand.

LOSERS FOR GEORGE #1: HALL OR NOTHING

darren prat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Darren “Bugger” Hall, the Green’s ECO-LOONEY candidate for Bristol West at the last general election, continues to impress.

The nakedly ambitious Southville-based enviro-thickie with the overblown ego is supposed to be the Green party’s national home affairs spokesman. But now he’s decided he’s backing MAYOR BACKSCRATCH, not his Green Party, in next year’s mayoral election!

Or, at least, that’s what he told the Nazi Post’s political smear merchant, Ian “SMELLY” Onions via a mystery press release. Bugger Hall told the sleazeball, “I want to accelerate our progress to a low carbon economy in 2020 and see the Green Party WORKING WITH THE MAYOR to make Bristol the city we know it can be.”

Although Hall did go on to say, “I am a Green Party supporter and member, and IN THE LONG TERM I’d like to see a Green Mayor running Bristol.”

When might that ‘LONG TERM’ be then Darren? 2020 by any chance? When Hall could bravely and unselfishly step forward as the Green candidate with the full support of his mate, outgoing Mayor Backscratch, as the continuity candidate?

Following the publication of his self-serving, me-first, fuck-you announcement and a subsequent and wholly predictable outcry from his party, Bugger Hall was desperately REVERSING THE FERRET and firing off an urgent “clarification” to the Post.

“The Green Party will be standing a candidate for Mayor of Bristol. If I were voting in Bristol next May, it is that candidate who would receive my first preference vote,” blustered the fool. Before going on to explain he would be helping ‘make Bristol the city we know it can be’ by moving to North Somerset imminently where he wouldn’t be able to vote for a mayor anyway!

Oh dear. This must be one of, not only, the shortest political careers in the city’s history but one of the most inept. Is it even as much as nine months since LIB DEM VOTER Bugger Hall’s ego joined the Greens just to grab that winnable Bristol West parliamentary seat he went on to spectacularly lose?