Tag Archives: Robert Orrett


What’s the council’s full-pay, part-time private sector property boss, Robert “Spunkface” Orrett been up to now then?

A brief glance through the council’s draft accounts for 2014 – 15 reveals that operating costs in his Investment Property section have ROCKETED by over 70 per cent in one year from £1.66m to £2.83m.

That’s an INCREASE of over £1.1m in the costs for renting out exactly the same property as in the previous year. So what’s that dubious little ginger shit, Spunkface, doing with all our money then?

Obviously, as it’s a set of Bristol City Council accounts, we don’t really know. Although we do know Spunkface SPUNKING an extra £1.1m in mystery departmental costs only landed us an extra £700k in income for last year.

A net LOSS to us, the council taxpayer during this age of austerity, of at least £400k on the previous year. Feel free to admire that private sector efficiency Spunkface is bringing to the council!

Spunkface, of course, also financially oversees the Markets Service where inexplicable cash losses – listed by Spunkface’s finance minions as “LOANS” – have also been the order of the day for the last few years.

So what’s this private sector property boss up to with our money? Let’s hope it’s all above board, eh?

DOCKS UPDATE: SHOW US THE MONEY. Why is controversial council service withholding their accounts from the public? What are they trying to hide?

Bristol City Council's docks boss Tony Nichols considers how to keep the scurvy sea dogs under him in line

Cap’n Tony ‘Ahab’ Nichols

More news on Bristol City Council’s Docks service and the bullying, incompetent loony they’ve got in charge down there, Cap’n Tony ‘Ahab’ Nichols. We’ve now been reliably informed that to help steady Ahab’s listing ship and manage the growing storm of public Outrage over his dodgy management practices and shit attitude, the council has dragged in a troubleshooter.

Welcome, then to our old friend, the private sector property boss paid from the public purse Robert ‘Spunkface’ Orrett, to take personal charge of matters.

Those with longer memories may recall Spunkface took “personal responsibility” for the council’s bent Markets service in early 2013 – only for the boss directly accountable for markets, Facilities Management boss, Tony Harvey, to kill himself by early 2014. No doubt Ahab is suitably chilled by this news too.

And what a start for Spunkface, with the BLATANT AND UNLAWFUL blocking by him and Ahab – who, between them, trouser more than £100k every year out of your Council tax – of a Freedom of Information request asking to see Ahab’s Docks service accounts.

It’s now been well over fifty days since the request went in, and we’re assured intervention by the Information Commissioner is “imminent” if these accounts aren’t produced pronto.

General opinion seems to be that Spunkface and Ahab are desperate to keep these accounts away from the public because they’re likely to reveal a Markets service-style BENT MANAGEMENT CULTURE of personal financial favours and deals that will have cost the council taxpayer a small fortune. The BRISTOLIAN has already been tipped to find out how much Mayor Ferguson’s former shit- pub-in-an-old-tug, the Grain Barge, hasn’t paid in mooring fees over the years.

Meanwhile, The BRISTOLIAN continues to receive plenty of tip-offs regarding Ahab. Complaints include his failure to not properly clean the docks, resulting in lots of rubbish floating around which wraps it self around boat propellers and threatens aquatic wildlife.

Ahab’s crap decision to shut the harbour Office early to bunk off home is another. In the past anybody who wanted to launch a boat into the harbour to enjoy the light evenings over the summer months was able to pay a fee at the office and float away.

No longer- the office is now shut. The fee also used to contain a small amount for third party and public liability insurance should there be any accidents, meaning that some control was kept over who was actually able to launch a boat. Now now; any idiot can launch, with neither any fees gathered or any insurance cover should they have a prang.

That’s progress Ahab style.


Open space campaigners tell us that part-time council property boss, Robert ‘Spunkface’ Orrett has OPENLY ADMITTED that he sees his role as obtaining the maximum cash sale value of all council land in Bristol – including any local green or open space.

This was why Spunkface endlessly delayed voluntarily registering council-owned open space such as Wellington Hill Playing Fields as ‘Town Greens’.

Locals should therefore be on alert to protect their green and open spaces not protected by town green law, as the man in charge considers it all up for sale for development and he DOESN’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. This applies to all parkland and allotments too.

At least what we have always suspected is now confirmed: that Bristol City Council sees open spaces primarily as financial assets for itself and not as spaces of value for Bristolians.




Web ExclusiveMoonlighting private sector property boss, ROBERT “SPUNKFACE” ORRETT, took over line management duties for death riddle markets boss TONY HARVEY from MIKE “TAX EFFICIENT” WATTS in December 2012 soon after the markets The Markets Filewhistleblower had been successfully fired by Harvey and the humiliating audit report lay unread on Spunkface’s desk.

However, BNP Paribas employee, Spunkface was no new broom. he was more a stinking, shit-stained old mop soaked in the diseased and decaying excrement of Harvey and his useless old boss Mike “Tax Efficient” Watts.

For while Spunkface may now be publicly breaking down in tears in meetings over the grizzly fate of his employee, HE DID BUGGER-ALL to try to protect Harvey from being exposed and humiliated in the press when he had the chance.

The BRISTOLIAN understands a meeting took place with Orrett in early December 2012 to discuss the fact that a whistleblower had been proven to be unfairly removed from his job by Harvey and that all of the twenty-odd detailed allegations regarding markets finances remained “UNRESOLVED” after a pathetic six month non-investigation by the council’s rubbish Internal Audit department.

The BRISTOLIAN has been told, “Orrett basically said the investigation was over – he was resolving it by leaving it unresolved – and that what happened from now on was up to him and none of our business. He was not interested in the slightest in negotiation, discussion or any form of conciliation. He just looked down his snooty fucking nose at us.


Spunkface – he might be crying now but he did NOTHING to help his employee, Harvey.

“It was clear the whistleblower had reached the end of line within the council. The council were more concerned with victimising and screwing a whistleblower than investigating their own bosses for potential fraud, theft and mismanagement of public money.

“It’s hardly surprising the whistleblower turned to the press and to the radical press at that. They’re the ones who will give scumbags like Spunkface and Harvey as good as they give in the total bastard stakes.”

And us total bastards at The BRISTOLIAN can report that once we started, early last year, rubbing the council’s nose in Harvey’s role in markets, neither Spunkface nor any other council manager bothered to contact the paper, the whistleblower or his union to attempt to resolve the situation or allege any inaccuracies in our stories (because there aren’t any).

In the ultra-macho management culture favoured by Spunkface and Harvey there’s presumably no place for compromise, climb-downs, loss of face or apology?

Spunkface, literally, preferred to let Harvey dangle than reconsider a crap decision. What a silly boy.



The BRISTOLIAN has been leaked a copy of a SHOCKING Internal Audit report by Bristol City Council’s Corporate Services into the crisis-hit Markets Service.

The Markets FileThe report, dated November 2012, sensationally proves that Mayor George Ferguson, his Green Cabinet sidekick Councillor Gus Hoyt (the man responsible for Markets), and even the council’s Press Office, have all LIED about what’s been going on in the department that had been the direct responsibility of Facilities Manager Tony Harvey.

Over the Summer of 2013 MAYOR FERGO and SIR HOYTY-TOYTY were both insistent that there was “no evidence of wrongdoing” and that “no money went missing as this was purely an administrative fault”. Meanwhile, in July 2012 the Press Office told the BBC in a formal statement that the council had “found no evidence to support any charge of fraud or dishonesty, nor that any cash had gone missing”.

However, there is nothing in the audit report that supports these conclusions. It actually states,

“It was difficult to form an opinion in respect of the allegations [of fraud, theft and dishonesty].”

Hardly the sparkling clean bill of health we’ve been sold for the last six months, is it? And in a further twist, it seems that Tony Harvey and his line managers, with the full support of the council’s Freemason ex-finance boss Peter Robinson, SPIKED A FULL INVESTIGATION into the twenty-odd allegations Harvey had received from a whistleblower.

What's a £283k overspend to a millionaire mayor? King George weighs in on the markets accounts chaos

Did you say unsubstantiated George?

The report says: “Facilities Management requested that Internal Audit undertake an investigation into the markets management decision making processes for both financial and commercial transactions. To facilitate the above investigation a decision was taken by Internal Audit management to undertake an AUDIT REVIEW. It was considered that this would enable a sound knowledge of the systems to be gained prior to completing the INVESTIGATIVE WORK.”

However, “the INVESTIGATIVE WORK” never happened. Instead, Internal Audit’s work was “drawn to a close” and – in the words of the report – the allegations left “unresolved”.

How a non-investigation in which serious allegations are unresolved becomes “no evidence to support any charge of fraud or dishonesty, nor that any cash had gone missing” is a mystery.

It’s also a mystery why Harvey – with the support of his boss, Robert ‘Spunkface’ Orrett, and the Head of Finance, Peter Robinson – never went on to investigate the allegations, but instead busied himself (again, with Orrett and Robinson) TARGETING THE WHISTLEBLOWER for the sack.

What the report DOES tell us:

  • £2,500 in cash is unaccounted for
  • “Income may not have been banked intact”
  • There was “potential for fraud/ misappropriation”
  • Accounts had been “adjusted” and monies removed with no explanation
  • “No reliance can be placed upon the integrity of the detail recorded [in the markets’ accounts]”
  • The audit opinion was “poor”, financial control was “weak and management could place no reliance on it”
  • The Markets Service finance system was open to “significant risk, error or abuse”
  • It was difficult for the auditor to form any opinion as documents were withheld by Markets Service staff and managers – an act of gross misconduct
  • There was a refusal from staff to work with the auditor – an act of gross misconduct
  • There was a lack of transparency in both commercial and financial decision making
  • The expertise to sort out the financial mess did not exist among Markets Service staff once whistleblowers were given the boot by Harvey
  • No reliance can be placed upon the integrity of the markets’ accounts

This shocking report and subsequent EFFORTS TO SUPPRESS ITS FINDINGS by senior City Council managers (with the full knowledge and cooperation of the ‘fraud-busting’ Internal Audit team and the Head of Finance) call into question the financial integrity of the whole organisation.

Our money is not safe in their hands. There’s a cover-up here that reaches right to the top.


While we may have said farewell to Graham Skinner – the man behind the council’s move to 100 Temple Street – the lunatic levels of spending on the project continue to rise.

Skinner had been raising eyebrows for some time with his wild spending ways. Particularly when he started employing a series of EXPENSIVE PRIVATE SECTOR CONSULTANTS to sort out the move to the new offices.

We’re told the going rate for arranging the office furniture and ordering in the pot plants at Temple Street is £600 TO £1,000 A DAY!

Even more crazy when you consider council staff trained and qualified to do this work are sat right now twiddling their thumbs in the Counts Louse.

Is this an example of the private sector financial discipline Skinner’s boss Robert ‘Spunkface’ Orrett was brought in to implement?


The BRISTOLIAN #4.9 - hitting the streets NOW!

The BRISTOLIAN #4.9 – hitting the streets NOW!

It’s been another busy month in Bristol, with no shortage of graft, payola or all-round incompetence to cover – but the latest paper (The BRISTOLIAN #4.9) is now on the streets, featuring…

Holmwood House care home is like something out of The Munsters. Except it’s really not funny.

Skinner booted as the Curse of 100 Temple Street claims yet another management victim

Mayor ‘Now Fuck Off’ Ferguson loses his cool over The BRISTOLIAN in his Berchtesgarten

Financial farrago at City Hall as fraud and non-compliance continues

They seek it here, they seek it there, they seek that damned elusive £165k everywhere…

Why is a corporate property developer calling the shots at Wellington Hill Playing Fields?

City’s largest supplier of skills & training to youngsters on the brink

Millionaire Mayor signs partnership deal with Chinese Communist Party bosses!


Tantalising titbits including…

  • THINK OF THE CHILDREN!barney between Fergo’s true believers & Labour at charity bash
  • PRIMARY FAIL IndyRedpants election strategy off the rails already?
  • UNIFORMLY BADwhat’s going on at popular Totterdown school?
  • THIEVES IN THE TEMPLE£90 million budget cuts not affecting the consultancy gravy train
  • BEDROOM TAX LATEST – Council prepares to boot poor families onto street for Christmas
  • LEGAL NEWSpanicky BCC misrepresents own consultants’ findings on Mem impact
  • HOYT’S GOURMET JOY‘Assistant Mayor’ fills his face with food & reneges on ‘No Evictions’

…And all that for FREE!

See the Distribution page for your local stockist – and if there isn’t one near you, let us know!


Then you can DOWNLOAD a PDF version here:

» The BRISTOLIAN #4.9 – December 2013


Council wants local residents seeking help put on lockdown

It’s not just budget cuts that are starting to bite in Bristol – now it’s HANDCUFFS around the wrists as well.

The startling move to issue security guards at Phoenix Court ‘Customer Service Point’ with cop-style restraints – authorised by Strategic Property Director ROBERT ‘ORRIBLE’ ORRETT – comes as BCC continues to trim budgets across the whole city. This leads to fewer council workers working out of fewer buildings being told to cut assistance to hard-up Bristolians wherever possible. That means more people trekking to one of just five ‘Customer Service Points’ that have consolidated the functions of the much more numerous old Neighbourhood Offices – with limited waiting space and long queues before being seen.

As you can imagine, as a place where people at the end of their tether go – like those facing eviction due to the Bedroom Tax, or those made homeless with their families because they can’t afford their private landlord’s rent rises – Phoenix Court is a place with a sometimes tinderbox atmosphere. Therefore you would expect a bit of patience, and at least a friendly face.

Not at PHOENIX COURT, where the BCC customer services approach reigns supreme. Burly bouncers run the door like that of a dodgy nightclub, and only let so many people in. With the housing crisis in Bristol, this means many trying to access services are simply left out on the pavement – kids and elderly alike, rain or shine. Try to get some shelter, and you lose your place.

If you ask too many questions, you are now very likely to end up being ‘restrained’ in cuffs by one of the doormen.

Rumours of anti-Somali attitudes persist – not surprising when one Somali man trying to get in recently was forcibly ejected onto his head, requiring hospital treatment.  Another was told, as he lay on the floor “if you want to live in this country, you better learn the rules”. Priceless – flee your wartorn country to avoid persecution, pass draconian asylum tests, only to get beaten up when you try to access housing services.

None of those working on the service desks want this level of security or violence. It has become so bad that residents in Easton are working on a petition about the OUT-OF-CONTROL security guards at Phoenix Court.

Staff shortages currently mean new housing applications routinely take six months to be processed. And in the meantime, you are more likely to be attacked if you are a punter than a staff member: recently, one homeless person was sat upon by an office manager shouting obscenities, until the police turned up. It was this incident that prompted Orrett – more used to covering up fraud than addressing employee welfare – to kit out his own little PRIVATE ARMY with cuffs, despite not having properly addressed the legal issues of using force in this way.

How long before some bright spark in Shitty Hall proposes that parking wardens be equipped with tasers, or park keepers with CS gas?

We are already checking on rumours that school dinner ladies are getting pepper spray to dissuade any young Oliver Twists. “Please Miss, can I have some mor-ARRRGGHH MY EYES!!!”.


While ordinary Bristol City Council staff who do all the actual work have now gone without a pay rise for over three years and are dealing with the personal consequences of an effective THIRTEEN PER CENT CUT to their wages, no such hardships are happening at senior management level. Up there, it seems, pay rises continue to be dished out willy-nilly to any old passing public sector trougher capable of knocking out a persuasive Power Point presentation to gullible councillors.

First at the trough we find that not only has the city council created yet another new senior post – Commercial Director for Energy – but that, even before anyone’s in post, it’s been decided that this manager needs too have their pay UPPED from £71k a year to £85k!! A pay rise of twenty per cent for doing nothing!

Then there’s another new post – Strategic Director, Neighbourhoods and City Development – combining the two old posts of Strategic Director, City Development and Strategic Director, Neighbourhoods that used to pay a mere £102k a year for little in return (one postholder came up with the crap £150m Bus Rapid Transit white elephant; the other has overseen the creation of a major housing crisis in the city). But no worries here because the new postholder instead will receive £130K A YEAR!!!

That’s a rise of over 25 per cent for doing absolutely nothing beyond successfully navigating a recruitment process that continually dredges up hopeless deadbeats that have to be quietly pensioned off to Wales at a later date to save the council from further embarrassment. Still, this utterly undeserved pay hike should help ease the pain of austerity for the lucky postholder shouldn’t it?

Next on our troughers list of glory comes our new best friend, ANGIE PAIDWELL, the new Director of Corporate Services who turned up in January to clear up the former-Director, Will Godfrey’s mess and give the long-suffering staff on Shitty Hall’s third floor some respite from the sight of a useless dickhead wandering around the place with trousers flapping around his ankles. Angie started in January on a salary of £120k but lo and behold! Within two months she’s been given an entirely undeserved 25 PER CENT PAY HIKE to £150k to “act up” as City Director.

Now, this is an interesting one because councillors at the recent budget meeting voted to stop all “acting up” payments to council staff. Instead long-suffering staff are expected to do more work and take on more responsibility for nothing!!! Although obviously this new rule applies only to the little people at the council, not wannabe union-busters with top-of-the-range BMWs to keep on the road and KPMG on their CVs.

The Bristolian also learns that a post of Service Director for Strategic Property has been created recently with the job of selling off the council’s property portfolio. The plum job has been awarded to a very posh glorified estate agent called Orrett who used to work for corporate property firm BNP Paribas. And it must be said, Orrett’s come up with a very imaginative ruse to top up his £65k a year pittance – he’s simultaneously working as a CONsultant for his old firm BNP Paribas who might just be in the market for buying, er … Bristol City Council property!

The Bristolian will be on the streets later this week …