Marvin “Luther” Rees, Labour’s increasingly deranged mayoral candidate, has decided to CLOSE DOWN all the strip clubs in Bristol. The SOCIALLY CONSERVATIVE Christian confirmed on International Women’s Day that this will happen as soon as he becomes mayor.

This means he’ll be THROWING HUNDREDS OF YOUNG WOMEN OUT OF WORK. Local stripper Esme Worrell has already branded the idea “SHORT-SIGHTED” and “PATRONISING” after it turned out that Marvin hadn’t actually bothered to speak to a single stripper about his brilliant plan. So how does he know that the city’s strippers want him to protect them from exploitation? Does he visit them after office hours?

Of course, strippers earn pretty GOOD MONEY. So what does Marv have planned instead for these newly unemployed and unexploited sisters? Working minimum wage on the checkouts for his corporate mates at ASDA? Or how about doing care work for Marvin’s morally superior council? There the unexploited can drive around for work and NOT GET PAID for their traveling time and earn even less than the minimum wage!

Of course, as council employees, they could also look forward to a pay rise as high as ONE PER CENT this year thanks to the unceasing work of those tough anti-exploitation campaigners from Marv’s Labour Party and his union friends. This pathetic below inflation pay rise is generously being handed out by Marv’s new moralising army of council managers raking in SIX-FIGURE SUMS after awarding themselves a tasty 20 PER CENT pay rise. All happily signed off by Marvin’s Labour Party and the council’s unions, natch.

With shit like this on offer is it any surprise that some enterprising people look to sex work to make some decent money and get treated with far more respect? And this is where Marvin should be CONCENTRATING any fight over inequalities for women. Not FORCING women out of work. If he thinks women are being forced to strip then get the old Bill in. If he thinks they could be doing something better, then SHOW THEM THE MONEY.

Marvin claims that his bonkers plan is backed by the mayor’s WOMEN’S COMMISSION who have told him to ban stripping. So who the fuck are this lot? Only a bunch of self-appointed, well-paid, middle class public sector professionals, led by the council’s own Alison “FOUR JOBS” Comley scraping by on well over £136k a year from the public purse.

Just because this small clique of WELL-HEELED WOMEN would not dream of stripping does not mean that they can look down their noses at those that do and threaten their livelihoods. This is just a load of SANCTIMONIOUS SHITE, from a bunch of wealthy muppets who aren’t fully engaged with the reality they help to create.

Marv should concentrate on real issues that affect Bristolians, like shite housing, low wages, rubbish politicians. Come on Marv, fight real inequalities … Get yer tits ooout!!!!