Like all public school twits, Mayor George ‘Pig’ Ferguson likes nothing better than the sound of his own voice. So a keynote speech for a select, £25 a ticket, audience of his UPPER MIDDLE CLASS GROUPIES at the Architecture Centre last month was inevitable. Modestly titled ‘The Art of the Impossible’, in it Ferguson outlined his ‘vision’ for the city.

And pretty weird it was too: a sort of JG Ballard-meets-George Monbiot future Bristol, full of silent electric boats on the harbour, buildings with photovoltaic skins and super-lite composite bikes. A city centre marked out with tree-lined avenues and boulevards for the pleasure of his architect friends from Redcliffe – something that would only be possible through the minimum wage labour of ordinary Bristolians sweating away unseen ‘below stairs’ anyway.

The icing on the cake, however, was Gorgeous George’s proposal to build a town square on Castle Park named after a notorious FASCIST FELLOW TRAVELLER!

Because ex-Merchant Venturer Ferguson thinks it’d be a good idea to call it “Eve Balfour Square, named after the founder of the Soil Association” – presumably overlooking the fact that horrifying right-wing Tory toff Balfour set up the Soil Association with pal Jorian Jenks, the notorious ‘blood and soil’ card-carrying British fascist.

Still, Eve Balfour Square pairs quite nicely with our slave trade celebration concert venue, the Colston Hall, doesn’t it?