Category Archives: MPs & MEPs

Our fine local parliamentarians


darren pratIs it the fastest failed political career in the city’s history? Darren “TAMMANY” Hall, the Green’s parliamentary candidate for Bristol West last year, appears to have quit the Bristol Green Party in a huff. Or was he pushed?

Hall, a former middle-ranking bureaucrat at the laughably inept GOVERNMENT OFFICE OF THE SOUTH WEST, joined the Bristol Green Party barely eighteen months ago and ascended their greasy reclaimed wood pole at remarkable speed.

Immediately handed the Green target seat of BRISTOL WEST to contest in last year’s General Election, Hall, was also made the Green party’s national spokesman on HOME AFFAIRS. His partner, “Champagne” Charley Pattison, a low ranking barrister, even got in on the action too as the party’s legal spokesman.

After this rocket-fuelled promotion, it all went DOWNHILL rather rapidly for Hall. His 2015 general election campaign, spent sipping cappuccinos with various members of the press on Stokes Croft while spouting inanities from trite American progressive politics bestsellers, never really caught fire, except among hipsters and students.

Inevitable DEFEAT to a pisspoor Labour Party in disarray, nationally, followed and Hall RETREATED to Southville to lick his wounds. Eventually reappearing in the autumn in the pages of the Nazi Post fronting a story headlined “I’LL BE BACKING GEORGE, says leading Green”.

Encouraging readers to VOTE FERGUSON in for another term for mayor, Hall told readers he did not want to “put at risk the progress achieved by Mr Ferguson during the past few years.”

A few weeks later the Green Party Home Affairs spokesman was crashing into reverse gear in the letters pages of the Nazi Post, assuring confused readers he would of course be VOTING FOR THE GREEN PARTY in Bristol’s mayoral elections … If he didn’t happen to be moving to Tory North Somerset where he couldn’t vote for a Bristol mayor anyway!

To further demonstrate his undying loyalty to the Green cause, the RED TROUSER GROUPIE then spent the rest of the autumn talking up Mayor Slimeball at every opportunity on his Twitter account while IGNORING the Green’s actual Mayoral candidate, Tony Dyer “Straights”!

The subtle sound of string pulling accompanied a Nazi Post Green Capital Award that came Hall’s way soon after. Handed over by the mayor at a black tie dinner in December, this did the TURNCOAT few favours among the rank and file of his party either. Especially when photos of Hall mugging for the camera alongside a very smug Mayor Sleaze were SPLASHED all over the local press.

So little surprise, then, when the National Green party finally STRIPPED Hall of his Home Affairs role last month. Now we’re hearing, Hall is no longer a Bristol Green Party member at all – mainly from former Bristol Green colleagues apparently desperate to disown him.

What an utterly bizarre political career that was.



Hadleigh-RobertsBristol Labour Party’s vice chair HADLEIGH “MARGARET” ROBERTS has an interesting way of greeting new Labour Party members, who joined as part of the “Corbyn surge”, to his local Bristol West Constituency Party.

Margaret, a self-styled Labour “moderate” – or “RUTHLESSLY AMBITIOUS PUBLIC SCHOOLBOY” as they’re better known – has written a rather charming blog for his new members. Complaining that the newbies “were not the bright young things we were told to expect” before sniffily adding, “they are not in it for the hard slog.”

In other words, they’re all OLD AND LAZY and may not be too keen to run around promoting Margaret in the style to which he wishes to be accustomed. He then went on to claim, “most of these members were Greens and Socialists yesterday and will be tomorrow at the first opportunity.”

Good point. Why on earth would a socialist join and remain a member of Margaret’s pathetic version of the Labour Party? Do the fools not realise the Labour Party is a plaything for WEALTHY PRETTY BOYS in expensive suits? Socialists are the last thing you want around if you have a Westminster political career path in mind.

Perhaps Margaret, who was the parliamentary candidate for Thornbury earlier this year, will go far in the Labour party with this kind of attitude towards ordinary members, workers and – gasp! – socialists?

Although let’s hope none of these new members get wind of what he thinks of them. They might take offence and prevent the POSH PRAT being selected again.

That would be terrible wouldn’t it?


All of Bristol’s MP’s have claimed money for energy bills it has emerged. The news comes just after the huge price rises have been forced on the public by energy firms.

Skidmore the prize winner!

Charlotte Leslie – Tory MP for Bristol North West – said she’s a bit skint at the minute… Erm, okay, what happened to the £66,000 we pay you?

Meanwhile over in Bristol East Labour’s Kerry McCarthy racked up the highest energy claim of £625.26. And what did she have to say for herself? “That seems like quite a lot because I don’t even heat my London home.” Reassuring words indeed!

How ever much sympathy you have for these poorly paid mites, spare no sympathy for Conservative Chris ‘Skidmark’ Skidmore, MP for Kingswood. Skidmark is ALWAYS available to moan in the press about the poor being so bloody well off because of all the benefits they get.  He pushes the need for further cuts to every benefit under the sun. He voted to SLASH disability benefit while being a member of a parliamentary group which campaign for disabled peoples causes!

Last month he was heard in a meeting at the Tory Party conference saying the cuts “haven’t left people lying dead in the street.” That’s a good marker for government policy – “Are people dying? Not quite, well, it must be going fine!”

On his own benefits he’s not said a word! But he hates benefits sooo much, it leaves us wondering at BRISTOLIAN HQ why he claimed the £260.14 for his gas bill. Chris please feel free to contact us and let us know!

Skidmore went to the £12,840 a year Bristol Grammar School then on to Oxford University. After NEVER having to struggle in his life, he’s somehow ended up an expert on what people in hard times need.

With your claim of £260.14 for gas, Chris you win our Massive Hypocrite Toff of the Year award!!


l-r: George Ferguson, Eric Pickles, David Cameron, Greg Clark and 'Lady Gaga' Yates (back to the picture)

Clockwise from redtrousered twat on left: Bristol Mayor George Ferguson, Communities & Local Government Secretary Eric Pickles, Prime Minister David Cameron, Minister of State Greg Clark and Bristol City Director ‘Lady Gaga’ Yates (back to the picture)

Web ExclusiveMayor Fergo of Red Trousers accompanied by his Chief Exec, Nicola ‘Lady Gaga’ Yates met the PM and Cabinet oddbods Pickles and Greg Clark yesterday.

Amusing captions welcome!


Tory rat’s personal ‘fiefdom’ paid for by YOU – thanks to lax council management

Uncle Fester from ’The Addams Family‘

Uncle Fester from ’The Addams Family‘

Bristol’s city councillors voted en masse in early September to reject a retail levy on large supermarkets “preferring instead to support BUSINESS IMPROVEMENT DISTRICTS” (BIDs).

Well, how about our councillors get their collective head out of their collective arse before taking these decisions?

For all has not been well in leafy and affluent Clifton Village – and the source of this trouble? None other than the Clifton Business Improvement District, where traders have been charged an extra 1.5% on top of their business rates by Bristol City Council for “improvements”.

The man originally selected to run this flagship BID was one Carl Francis ‘Uncle’ Pester, a North Somerset Conservative councillor and election agent for former Defence Secretary the noted right-wing wing-nut LIAM FOX MP – though he has had quite a few ‘issues’ with his Party…

Uncle Pester from North Somerset Conservatives

Uncle Pester from North Somerset Conservatives

Having been appointed to run the BID in January, UNCLE PESTER was never seen by traders and there was little evidence of ‘improvements’ around Clifton Village to show for the money. However, cash was handed over to the famously impoverished Catholic Church to fund Clifton Cathedral’s forthcoming 40th anniversary celebration. Traders were said to be “not happy”.

Further research on Uncle Pester reveals that just two years ago, while a North Somerset Councillor, he was subject to a liability order granted by North Somerset Magistrates for £904.69 in UNPAID COUNCIL TAX to, err… North Somerset Council. Not only that, he was also taken to court by Wessex Water and ordered to pay £825!

Meanwhile, as both President and Chair of North Somerset Conservative Association, Pester was the subject of a DISCIPLINARY PROCESS after locals raised concerns about his management. A disciplinary report from Tory HQ noted that Uncle Pester had awarded himself free office space at the Association’s HQ, and held him responsible for a dodgy minibus purchase. As the redfaced report authors put it:

“The Association has LOST CONSIDERABLE MONEY as a result.”

The report also says Pester ran the Association “in an inappropriate way treating it as his personal fiefdom” and barred him from holding office in the Tory Party for three years.

Pester DRAMATICALLY QUIT the BID post in June and the Clifton BID Board offered the explanation that “it would be inappropriate for the board to offer any explanation as it is a private and personal matter.”

So the question that needs to be asked is did Bristol City Council and its councillors have oversight over this BID and its recruitment process – and was Uncle Pester really the best candidate for the job?

We think we deserve to be told…



Myanmar what a palaver as emo MP goes for a burton in Burma

News is emerging that the pint-sized goth MP for Bristol East Kerry McCarthy had to conduct a high-level diplomatic meeting with Nobel Peace Prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi from low down in a hole in the ground somewhere in Myanmar after a DISASTROUS ACCIDENT (more details here).

The MP has subsequently complained that people “are more interested in me falling down a hole than me spending a historic day with Aung San Suu Kyi at her first party conference.”

Can’t imagine why that would be.