Monthly Archives: March 2019

ST MARVIN’S PARISH NEWS #19

You may have read in the local newspapers that the scourge of institutional racism is stalking the pews of St Marvin’s. The first thing to understand about all this is that none of this is my fault. Neither is it the fault of the executive head of the Parish Committee, the entirely non-racist Mr Jackson, or any other of my highly competent and equalities-positive senior leaders of our inclusive church project. This is a fact confirmed in a secret report you don’t need to see that I commissioned from my friend, The Very Reverend Holy Poonami

This has all been explained to Mr Norton, the editor of the St Marvin’s Post and one of our parish’s outstanding social liberals and anti-racists who assures me he has a lot of black friends. He now firmly agrees with myself and the Holy Poonami that the blame for all this racism at St Marvin’s lies firmly within the congregation, especially among those occupying the middle pews on Sundays. And rest assured, our inclusive parish leadership team are fully dedicated to efficiently shifting the blame for this problem on to these people as quickly as possible now that the newspapers have found out.

Further strategic responses you can expect from a wholly innocent and unaware inclusive parish leadership team will be an ongoing commitment to building a diverse parish by repeating language such as ‘inclusive’, ‘diverse’ and ‘outward looking’ as much as possible. This should allow inclusive parish leaders to continue to flourish despite acutely embarrassing accusations from the media.

In partnership with Mr Jackson and the senior parish leadership team, I will also continue to regularly publish waffle about our organisational values; ramble on about a parish journey of continuous improvement and, naturally, improve the robustness of our all-important equality impact assessments that nobody ever looks at.

You will also be excited to hear that the inclusive leadership team will ensure that the next Parish survey – due out soon – includes a section dedicated to you better understanding our outward-looking parish culture and religious environment. This will specifically address issues of fairness, equality, inclusion and diversity that many parishioners are struggling to spout as professionally as our inclusive parish leaders can.

Alongside our mission to place the blame elsewhere, I’m sure you will agree this is a hugely robust response from your inclusive parish leadership team. As my mentor the Texan psychotic preacher and notorious anti-communist homophobe, the Pastor Righteous Loon says in his new ‘Book of Loon’, “When caught red-handed, profess thy undying innocence, buy in a report and blame those who can’t answer back”.

Finally a small word about these so-called “whistleblowers” who spoke to the press. In future can anyone identifying as a “whistleblower” contact the inclusive parish leadership team immediately? We are all extremely skilled in managing these problems in line with our inclusive parish leadership goals and, often, our inclusive goals conflict with the goals of the ungodly free press. Please note that “whistleblowers” who fail to comply with this simple instruction may come to regret it.

Hopefully, with such a robust inclusive leadership response now in place, the parish can move swiftly along and not dwell on this overblown media confection for too much longer.

The Vicar

MAYOR GETTING RACY

MAYOR GETTING RACY

The Reverend rushed to the airwaves and into print within days of the Nazi Post revealing last month, with the help of four whistleblowers, that his council had miserably failed to take any action over 70 INSTANCES OF RACISM among their workforce over the last ten years.

The Reverend’s first port of call was a soft interview with Ellie “Copy Typist” Pipe, roving reporter for Venue-lite website and mag, Bristol 24/7. The Reverend’s crazed mission to EXPLAIN THE INEXPLICABLE appeared on the 24/7 website on Friday 22 February.

The first target from the failed journalist and failing mayor was successful journalism. “There is a massive challenge for the journalistic class in the city as well,” bleated the Reverend, taking aim at those who had recorded, for the public, his latest embarrassing ORGANISATIONAL FAILURE.

The Vicar went on to claim the press were “sensationalising” the issue as the four cases reported in the Post “were being addressed” by his senior bosses. Sidestepping the fact that the whistleblowers had gone to the Post because their cases remained UNADDRESSED while the perpetrators and the senior bosses protecting them remained UNCHALLENGED.

“We, as a leadership, have always taken race and racism very seriously,” Rees breezily assured 24/7 readers. “We have put in place a whole raft of measures to tackle it”. And what measures would they be? Er, we don’t know because the Reverend didn’t say and Copy Typist Pipe DIDN’T BOTHER TO ASK. So that’s all right, then.

The Reverend immediately followed this highly DEFENSIVE INTERVIEW with an appearance among friends at community radio station, Ujima where he was joined by a cheerleader from the local race relations industry, Sado Jirde of the Black South West Network.

Together, the pair spent an hour patronising listeners by batting about long-winded undergraduate seminar observations about race with little reference to the Reverend’s working class black staff  experiencing THE SHARP END OF RACISM right here, right now in Bristol.

It’s all ever so “complex and systemic” listeners were assured as the pair ASSERTED that due to the way racism was “reproduced and remodelled in institutions” it had to be “contextualised”.

Was this because the context of black working class people having their experience of racism BELITTLED AND IGNORED by middle class public sector bosses with large mortgages to service and quiet lives to live was a little too raw and direct for them?

Further highlights at Ujima included Rees whining that he couldn’t be expected to resolve 400 years of racism. Or, it seems, even four straightforward issues of RACISM within his own organisation raised that week by WHISTLEBLOWERS in the press.

The Reverend also went right off the deep end at the Nazi Post. “We all knew about it anyway”; they were “behind the conversation” on race; they were “role playing at being investigative journalists”; they had a “shallow understanding”; they were using “shock terminology” based on “inaccuracies and embellishments” and the headlines “were a great splash but not true,” the Reverend variously BLUSTERED at listeners.

To polish off this hour of PARANOID WAFFLE and EMBITTERED DENIAL, the show’s presenter even chipped in telling listeners that “whistleblower” is the “wrong terminology”. So what is the correct terminology for what this little lot were up to then?

How about “another bloody hatchet job by council bosses and client media on working class whistleblowers”?

 

WE’VE GOT THE POWER?

WE'VE GOT THE POWER?

By our Engineering Correspondent
You may have heard the local Labour and Green parties, followed by our esteemed Mayor, making very public declarations about their plans to make Bristol Carbon Neutral in the coming decade. Very sensible given the recent UN statement that we only have twelve years to avoid climate catastrophe … And counting.

They’ve talked the talk, now they’ve got a chance to walk the walk. With Bristol’s very own ‘Tidal Lagoon’, a term actually used by the Green party. Although it’s usually called the ‘Floating Harbour’. In January the Mayor, Labour, and all Green Councillors were mailed, pointing out the unequalled opportunity to generate significant amounts of carbon neutral electricity at minimal cost, from Bristol’s water system.

You can think of the harbour as a tidal lagoon, in which case it’s got the highest tidal range, at its gates, in a city, in the world. Two massive surges every day. Or you can look at it as a simple reservoir and dam, fed by two rivers, both used historically for power generation.

Actually, it’s both. With a flood control outlet (at Tesco on the M32) that leads via a straight tunnel to Sea Mills. It’s difficult to imagine a better set-up for water-based power generation. Every weir, from the main inlet at the Netham on the Avon and Snuff Mills on the Frome, right down to the Underfall Yard and Sea Mills flood control outlets, are capable of making useful power.

Unlike the Swansea tidal lagoon scheme, the entire infrastructure already exists. All the dams, weirs and flood control features are in place. Some have been there for over a century. Literally all that’s needed is the installation of appropriate turbines, themselves stock production items already in use all over Europe.

First step is the not hugely expensive job of producing a map of the whole water system, including details of all the potential power generation points.  This map can be taken to European water power specialists, currently being contacted, to get an accurate estimate of potential outputs and costs. If Bristol doesn’t have this data it will be compiled from Google Maps plus photos and video. Then it’s decision time. Given satisfactory figures and effective management (executive ‘action this day’) it would be feasible to have power coming out of the easiest installations this year.

Response so far?  Zero. Nada. They’ll all be mailed again In March (eleven years and nine months…) It’s not totally surprising. BCC is an institution and the first instinct of all institutions is to ignore inputs from outside. But they don’t really have that option. This is an emergency. All solutions must be considered. Bristol City has to step up to the plate, if nothing else for their revolting children.

This is where we find out if our glorious leaders Can Do, or are just useless politicians.

Watch this space.


NAZI POST TRIES TO START WORLD WAR 3

Nukes

Eagle-eyed readers of the Nazi Post who assumed it was a rag that covered local affairs may have been baffled by a recent article warning us of the menace of RUSSIAN SHIPS off the coast of OLD BLIGHTY.

This followed a recent `letter to the editor’ warning of LIES AND DISINFORMATION being spread on the internet by SINISTER FOREIGN POWERS and the need for INTERNET CENSORSHIP. Yes ladies and gentlemen, apparently Putin’s Evil Hordes are out to get us! The reds are back under the bed, and our, oh so caring and compassionate rulers are desperate to keep us safe.

Perhaps they’re worried our wealth will be seized by foreign powers and we will all be enslaved? Oh no wait, that happened already! It’s enough to make a cat laugh. In reality, the British press are being targeted by a secretive Government black propaganda unit called the INTEGRITY INITIATIVE whose main purpose is to create stories of a KREMLIN MENACE.

Despite this being HUGE NEWS there has been a near TOTAL BLACKOUT in the pathetic Corporate Media. This BLACK OPS programme aims to gain public compliance for huge military spending and overseas wars by pretending we are under threat from alien powers. Russia is a particular target because it refuses to be asset stripped by Western corporations like it was under the piss-head Boris Yeltsin in the 1990s.

The Unit also aims to create justification for CENSORING FREE SPEECH by pretending that those of us online who are PISSED OFF with ENDLESS WARS and the LOOTING OF SOCIETY BY THE RICH are make believe ‘Russian Bots’ or agents of a foreign power! The INTEGRITY INITIATIVE has also been linked to the HIGHLY SUSPECT SCRIPAL AFFAIR and to secretly slandering that dangerously subversive allotment enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn on the internet.

DON’T BE FOOLED PEOPLE. If Russia really wanted a piece of the UK plc then they could have bought it on the Stock Exchange like every other country did. What our rulers really fear isn’t that pretend bogeyman Russia…

It’s US, WAKING UP AND SEEING HOW THE WORLD REALLY WORKS.

OPEN LETTER: BRISTOL UNIVERSITY FREE SPEECH SOCIETY

In light of the recent tragedy in Christchurch, New Zealand where 50 Muslims were killed, members of the University of Bristol Islamic Society (BRISOC) were deeply troubled to find out that a problematic event is taking place on campus on Monday the 25th March.

The Free Speech Society have invited Emma Fox from The Henry Jackson Society (HJS) to speak in the Queen’s Building regarding Islam and Muslims. The Henry Jackson Society is a right-wing think tank . The ex-director, Douglas Murray, said “Conditions for Muslims in Europe must be made harder across the board: Europe must look like a less attractive proposition”, and he has also called for the banning of “all immigration into Europe from Muslim countries.

Fox herself has quoted organisations attempting to tackle Islamophobia as “legitimising extremism”. Her reports trying to discredit Islamophobia Awareness Month are without evidence and inflammatory, and the fact that they are titled “Profiting from Prejudice” is deeply offensive, as it suggests Muslims are wrong to raise concerns about the discrimination they face. The events in Christchurch show that there is nothing to profit from prejudice, but that many lives have been, and will be lost due to hate speech.

Muslim students and members of BRISOC have met with members of the Free Speech Society to express our concerns, however, no efforts have been made to change the trajectory of the event, or even to allow a chance for adequate representation from the Muslim community. Free speech is important, but not so that it can be used as an excuse to make one group feel disproportionately vulnerable. There must be a balance between the expression of the opinions of an individual and the safety of minority groups. The greater the position of influence an individual or a group holds, the greater care and responsibility must be taken in what they say. There is the risk that this event is more likely to be attended by those who already have dangerous prejudices against Muslims, and that this speaker could radicalise them into committing violence.

Even though the event was organised before the attack in New Zealand occurred, these types of events hosting Islamophobic rhetoric spread anti-Muslim hate, which inevitably leads to violence, as we have seen in Christchurch and across the UK over the last week. Bristol’s Muslim students and community alike are still hurting. It is not enough to be sorry for violence after it has taken place, we need to take action to stop the hate speech that creates the conditions for this violence, otherwise the cycle of hate will continue and escalate.

We as Muslims are scared and do not feel safe at University and in wider society, and it is a shame that the Free Speech Society want to exploit the vulnerability of Muslims on campus. With ‘copycat’ attacks happening all over the country and support being shown towards the gunman even within Bristol, the one place we should feel safe is on our campus. It is highly insensitive, to say the least, that the Free Speech Society think it is appropriate to host such an event in light of the recent wave of Islamophobic violence across the Western world.

We plead with you all to stand with us in solidarity against Islamophobic hate speech and call for the Free Speech Society to either cancel or postpone this event until they rethink the negative discourse they are promoting, and have a level discussion with Muslim representation present.

We will be protesting Islamophobia and this event outside the Queen’s Building at 5.45pm on Monday the 25th March if it goes ahead on this date and will remain in place until the event is over. We will have several speakers who will speak on the impact that Islamophobic hate speech brings to the world.

  • Sally Patterson, Equality and Liberation Access Officer
  • Khadija Meghrawi, University of Bristol Interfaith Forum, Brisoc Interfaith rep, Muslim Medics Outreach Officer
  • Dan Moxham – BIS
  • Kofo Sodiq-Ajala
  • Ayasha Abbasy – Pres Secretary of Bristol University Research Society (BURS), University of Bristol
  • Aaminah Hafezi- Co-president of Bristol University Islamic Society (BRISOC)
  • Azza Abdulla, NUS NEC and Education Officer, Leicester SU
  • Muna Ali, Student Trustee, Union of Kingston Students
  • Mariam Bhaila – University of Bath
  • Hiba Abdo – University of Bristol – undergraduate
  • Magda Feisal- BME Network, University of Bristol
  • Nelima Hossain, University of Bristol undergraduate
  • Syirah Ami – President of the Feminist Society, NUS Delegate, Incoming Women’s Network Chair, University of Bristol
  • Mounir Benzineb – University of Bristol
  • Kazim Kazim – University of Bristol
  • Thanaj Amin – University of Bristol
  • Zoulikha Belblidia- University of Bristol
  • Nurin Jazlina – ( Undergraduate student , UoB )
  • Khuzaima Bhatti- University of Bristol
  • Nasra Ayub – Undergraduate Education Officer Bristol SU
  • Nana Agyare- University of Bristol BME Network
  • Abdulahi Mohamed-University of Bristol
  • Mohamed Salhi, Education Officer, KCLSU
  • Maria Flores Rodero: University of Bristol
  • Hussain Abass: Bristol Islamic Society
  • Saaleh Khan – University of Bristol
  • Zoya Rashid – University of Bristol
  • Abubakar Siddique Muqaddas – University of Bristol
  • Farzana Akter – University of Bristol
  • Sorwar Ali – University of Bristol
  • Juliana Mohamad Noor, President, CoLCSU
  • Aamir Mohamed – Bristol Islamic Society (Brothers VP)
  • Shamus Butt – President of Muslim Medics Bristol, University of Bristol
  • Zayd Amjad – General Secretary, Muslim Medics Bristol
  • Shamima Khonat – Community, Campaigns & Citizenship, University of Manchester SU
  • Emma Tran – University of Bristol
  • Shasha Sosrowardoyo, University of Bristol
  • Vanessa Wilson, Student Living Officer at the Bristol SU
  • Amera Hussain – President of Durdham JCR, University of Bristol
  • Izzie Foster, University of Bristol
  • Shahid Akram – Former Chair- BMCS
  • Nic Aaron – PhD student, University of Bristol
  • Abdullah Okud, President, Sheffield Hallam Students Union, Chair, Hallam Race Network, Union Development Committee, NUS
  • Sian Amekuedi – President of the Feminist Society, University of Bristol
  • Alex May – Co-President of the Green Party Society, University of Bristol
  • Ruth Day – Chair, Bristol Labour Students and NUS delegate
  • Dylan Woodward – Secretary, Bristol Labour Students
  • Safia Cissoko- University of Bristol
  • Zain Choudhry – Students’ Union at UWE President 2017/18
  • Manish Khatri – NUS Scotland International Students Officer
  • Grey Fraser – UoB LGBT+ Soc VP
  • Thara Lawal – Equality Rep of Durdham JCR University of Bristol
  • Wyn Turner – University of Bristol
  • Durham Intersectional Feminism Society
  • Shuyej Uddin – University of Bristol
  • Sky Richardson-Griffiths – University of Bristol
  • Felix Manocha-Seymour, Disabled Students’ Network Chair
  • Ilnur Miftakhov – University of Bristol masters student
  • Rhys Shaw – University of Bristol Student.
  • Sally Emerson – Chair of the Education Network, Bristol SU
  • Delina Yohannes – University of Bristol
  • Zee Adamson Leggett – Bristol resident
  • Amr Alwishah- VP welfare and Campaigns Cardiff University Students Union
  • Larissa Kennedy, Education Officer, Warwick SU
  • Ilyas Nagdee, NUS Black Students Officer
  • Jason Palmer, incoming ELA Officer, president of Bristol DramSoc, Trainer for Bristol Debating Union, LGBT+ Soc Committee
  • Manar Lamzini- University of Bristol
  • Roy Kiruri – University of Bristol Law Club Careers Secretary and African Caribbean Society International Students Representative
  • Nabeela Mowlana, Welfare and Community Officer Sheffield Hallam SU, NUS NEC
  • Ffion Lewis, LGBT+ Society Secretary and incoming LGBT+ Network Chair
  • Ella Alalade, ELA Officer of Bristol DramSoc, Writing Rep for Bristol Spotlights
  • Hadya Shawki – University of Bristol
  • Zamzam Ibrahim – NUS Vice President
  • Luke Tyers – Bristol Cut the Rent, Bristol Student-Staff Solidarity
  • Mark Carver, University of Bristol
  • Usman Butt, University of Bristol
  • Yvette Parry (Undergraduate Student, UoB)
  • Phoebe Rose Gilmore (MSc Student, UoB)
  • Georgia Homer (Undergraduate Student, UoB)
  • Suzie Beckley (Undergraduate Student, UoB)
  • Sula Shepherd (MSc Student, UoB)
  • Siavash Minoukadeh, UoB Undergraduate student
  • Linn Meyer (Bsc Student , UoB)
  • Matthew Randell, President of UkeSoc, University of Bristol
  • Nura E. Alyah, Chair of LGBT+ Network, University of Bristol
  • Sheriff Muhammed Education Officer, Sheffield Hallam SU
  • Amy Hornsby (MSc Student, UoB, Vice-President Bristol Friends of Palestine)
  • Georgia-Mari Spencer (MSc, UoB)
  • Barakat Hussain, University of Bristol, President of Feed the Homeless society
  • Abdelrahman Otify (Undergraduate Student, UoB)
  • Ahd Othman (PhD, UoB)
  • Maggie Kadembo,University of Bristol BME Network
  • Gabriel Oben (Undergraduate Student, UoB)
  • Aisling Duignan-Murphy (Undergraduate Student, UoB)
  • Omar Chowdhury – Bangla Society President and ACS Events Officer, Incoming Chair of the BME Network, University of Bristol
  • Mohamed El Gosbi, UWE
  • Joseph Hartland, 3D Helical Theme lead for UoB Medical School
  • Samya Sarfaraz – Vice President Muslim Medics Bristol, University of Bristol
  • Aishani Kumaran Sitaraman (MArts, University of Bristol)
  • Nazifa Zaman (Co-BAME officer Warwick Labour)
  • Mohamed Yousuf (University of Warwick)
  • Laura Lunn-Bates, NUS NEC
  • Raza Muhammad – Univerity of Bristol
  • Catreya Mably – University of Bristol
  • Beck Throup – University of Bristol, LGBT+ Society President
  • Mohanad W. ElNaggar – University of Bristol, UG.
  • Ahmed Ali- LBSU Equality & Diversity Officer Elect.
  • Murtaza Shah- University of Bristol
  • Taj Ali- Ethnic Minorities Officer (University of Warwick)
  • Millie Jacoby (University of Warwick)
  • Thandeka Bero (University of Sussex)
  • Fraser Amos Co-Chair Warwick Labour
  • Saifur Rahman (University of Warwick)
  • Imadul Chowdhury (President, Brighton and Sussex Medical School ISOC)
  • F Bham, UWE
  • Aminah Saleem (University of Warwick)
  • Anastasia Maryukhta (Radio Host, University of Bristol)
  • Roisin Jacobson – Secretary of the Sociology Society, University of Bristol
  • Alicia Donaldson (University of Bristol)
  • Olivia Goodwin – University of Bristol Women’s Football Development Captain and Centaur Society Junior IVSA Rep
  • Lucy Russell (University of Bristol, President of Bristol Debating Union)
  • Ella Wells – Bristol resident
  • Safiah Afifi (Cardiff University) – FOSIS Wales & West
  • Saira Fazili (Vice President, University of Bristol Pakistan Society)
  • Adeeb Hussain (President, UoB Pakistan Society)
  • Sana Mahmud, undergraduate student at UOB
  • Abyd Quinn Aziz Cardiff University UCU Equalities Officer
  • Aishah Bukhari (Keele University)
  • Temi Jones – Durdham JCR vice president, University of Bristol
  • Christian Cockle – University of Bristol
  • sam shahabi – university of bristol
  • Megan Clarke – CoChair Warwick Labour
  • Amy Best – Hiatt Baker JCR President, University of Bristol
  • Lucy MacDonald Connolly University of Bristol
  • Nuramin Hakimi bin Nurhashim – University of Bristol
  • Zhafyra Irdina Anuar – University of Bristol
  • Humaid Ghori – Brighton and Sussex Medical School
  • Katie Hall – Bristol Medical School
  • Ashfath Ifham – Cardiff University
  • Henry Willis – Bristol Medical School
  • Amin Lmoh – Warwick Labour Secretary, University of Warwick
  • Ahmed Yasin – University of Bristol
  • Lowri Luxton – People & Planet, University of Bristol
  • Savannah Coombe, University of Bristol Undergraduate, President Liberal Arts Society
  • Lucy Hitchens – President of the University of Bristol Medical Law Society
  • Ahlam Nagi-Cardiff University
  • Sharmeen Lupa Ghazi – Swansea resident
  • Hillary Gyebi-Ababio, Chair of the Widening Participation Network, Incoming Undergraduate Education Officer
  • David Tyoember – BME Officer, Imperial College London
  • Maheen Hussain – Marketing rep (Bristol Islamic soc), Advisor (Pakistan soc)
  • Nur Syakirah Sulaiman – University of Bristol
  • Scarlet Shepard – University of Bristol graduate
  • Hana Sadida – University of Nottingham
  • Syaraf Izzati – University of Bristol
  • BeTengku Arifah Syakirah – Uni of Bristol
  • Alani Anazim – University of Bristol
  • Ella Wilkinson, University of Wales Trinity St. David
  • Khadijah Ginwalla, Treasurer Muslim Medics Bristol, BMEdics Committee and Medical school course representative, University of Bristol
  • Khairul Ain binti Kamarudin, Secretary Students for Global Health Bristol, University of Bristol.
  • Hisyam Azlan – Welfare executive of MCS, University of  Bristol
  • Fikri Farid – University of  Bristol
  • Alif Fadzil – Media executive of mcs, University of  Bristol
  • Adam Hadi – President of MCS, University of  Bristol
  • Jessica Fenlon – University of Bristol
  • Amara Iqbal – Bristol resident
  • Harriet Martin-Jones – Bath Spa University Vice-President Opportunities
  • Afdhol Zofran, student University of Bristol
  • Claire Sosienski Smith, Women’s Officer, Cambridge University Students’ Union
  • Abdullah Imran: University of Bath
  • Nadia Benzineb: University of Warwick
  • Hamizah Haidi: PhD candidate, University of Cambridge
  • Myriam Kans NUS NEC
  • Nur Adina – University of Bristol
  • Madeleine Daly, University of Nottingham.

PLAQUE ATTACKED

PLAQUE ATTACKED

Efforts to add a so-called ‘corrective plaque’ to Edward Colston’s statue on the Centre have descended into farce thanks to INTERFERENCE from our local bat shit crazy rich mans’ club, the SOCIETY OF MERCHANT VENTURERS, desperate to defend the reputation of their slave trading hero.

The idea behind a corrective plaque was to stop the constant – and often entertaining – VANDALISM of the statue by members of the public. Over the years we’ve woken up to find the statue yarn bombed, with its face painted white, with graffiti scrawled across it and with various corrective plaques superglued to it, usually LISTING COLSTON CAREER HIGHLIGHTS the current plaque misses out.

To address this, last year, the council hired historian Dr Madge Dresser to work with young people to produce a second plaque for the statue. Plenty of ideas came back highlighting Colston’s role in the SLAVE TRADE as well as aspects of his political, religious, charitable and business life that are OVERLOOKED on the existing plaque from the Victorian era.

Dr Dresser delivered her ideas to Peter “Arse” Insole, an architectural officer at the council and then the trouble started. The Venturers immediately employed AMATEUR HISTORIAN Francis Greenacre to LOBBY Insole on their behalf and an unknown number of private meetings between Insole and Greenacre with neither notes nor minutes retained have taken place.

Now, we’re reliably informed, the following information will definitely not appear on any new plaque: any reference to Colston being a TORY; any mention of the SOCIETY OF MERCHANT VENTURERS; the number of children TRANSPORTED by Colston’s ships; the number of children who DIED on Colston’s ships; any mention of Colston’s religious and political BIGOTRY; any mention of Colston’s involvement in the SPANISH SLAVE TRADE and any mention of his INSIDER TRADING in South Seas Company.

Never mind, we’ll all just have to go back to vandalising the Venturer’s reactionary monstrosity instead.

TRUST FUND TWAT’S TITS-UP INCEST JIBE SCORES A ‘FULL PARTRIDGE’

TRUST FUND TWAT

It’s all going fabulously tits-up at BBC Radio Bristol at the moment. The local station, widely acknowledged as a publicly funded job creation scheme for POSH THICKOES, is currently run by the extraordinarily dim “Gymkhana” Jess Rudkin.

Now, the failing station’s failing golden boy ‘star’ DJ, James “Posh Cunt” Hanson – personally appointed by Gymkhana Jess – may have finally marched our embarrassing BBC local radio station into full ALAN PARTRIDGE TERRITORY. This follows the broadcast of a ‘hilarious’ self-penned ‘parody’ song by Posh Cunt characterising women in Hartcliffe as a bunch of SLAGS up for a bit of DOGGING and INCEST!

Hanson learned his, er, streetwise chops at  £25k a year CLIFTON COLLEGE, one of the country’s leading public schools for boys, followed by five years of unpaid internships at various shite radio stations around the country as well as an unpaid stint with fellow TORY PUBLIC SCHOOL TWAT, Charlotte Leslie when she was MP for Bristol North West.

Unsurprisingly, the wealthy Tory trust fund twit’s dirty little anti-woman ditty didn’t go down well in south Bristol when he broadcast it on his Saturday show on 9 March. Neither did his REFUSAL TO APOLOGISE to women south of the city on his show on Saturday 16 March. Instead the entitled little shit sneered that women just needed “TO GET OVER IT“.

Posh Cunt has now been officially DISAPPEARED by the BBC for a few weeks while his boss and biggest and, quite possibly, only fan “Gymkhana” Jess deals with a mountain of COMPLAINTS about their hilarious gag. So far, Gymkhana Jess has largely spent her time explaining Posh Cunt’s also got a character called ‘Sebastian the Stokes Croft hipster’. This somehow makes sexually DEROGATORY REMARKS by a young entitled man towards women perfectly all right then.

Jess’s also whining to anybody daft enough to listen to her drivel about the “unpleasant online discussions” her and Posh Cunt’s DEEPLY UNPLEASANT GAG generated. Presumably on the basis that these over-privileged twats can broadcast what the fuck they like about us but we must be ever so respectful towards them because they went to the right school?

Do the loons at Radio Bristol think Bristol is some sort of feudal system where the peasants are obliged to show a bunch of witless public school arseholes and their reactionary views respect?

ONE RULE FOR THEM …

Dim Labour cabinet member for women, children and young people, Councillor Helen “Oh My” Godwin has come up with an INTERESTING WHEEZE.

She’s demanding a new maternity leave policy from the council, which would mean that councillors have BETTER maternity benefits and pay than their council employee plebs. This is the same Oh My Godwin who told Full Council in 2016 that she wouldn’t support a cost of living increase in councillor expenses while people were LOSING THEIR JOBS!

No doubt it’s just a coincidence that her friend and Labour cabinet colleague Nicola “La La” Beech is just about to pop off and have a sprog? And if the new rules are passed then La La would be entitled to these ENHANCED maternity benefits through her £40k a year councillors wedge.

Isn’t it nice to see senior Labour councillors looking after themselves so well?

COSTLY CARBON NEUTRAL FUTURE JOY

bristol-energy

Our old friend Old Sparky from Private Eye’s ‘Keeping The Lights On’ column cast his eye over municipal ENERGY RESELLING COMPANIES again in January. He explained that Notttingham City Council’s Robin Hood Energy would require its THIRD bailout in a year very soon.

He then observed, “the municipal energy supply model is FINANCIALLY UNVIABLE“. A message virtually everybody now gets except the Reverend Rees and his gormless sidekick, responsible for council finance, Craig “Crapita” Cheney.

Early in January, on the day Bristol City Council-owned Bristol Energy announced a further LOSS of £11.2million for 2018, Cheney cheerily announced that the company was at a “at a turning point where it can now begin to play a greater role in the city’s journey towards a CARBON NEUTRAL FUTURE.”

What a load of bollocks. How can running up a DEBT, now standing at over £30million – that will never be repaid – help our future? Carbon neutral buzzwords or not?

The Reverend and Cheney need to shut their energy business fiasco down today and apologise to the people of Bristol for wasting their money.

DERANGED ACADEMY TRASHES PUBLIC OPEN SPACE

StokeLodge004

Cotham School’s determination to fence off their Stoke Lodge playing fields to “safeguard” pupils and keep the local community OUT has moved quickly from a little over-enthusiastic to stark raving bonkers in a remarkably short space of time.

The BATTLE over Stoke Lodge has been RAGING since 2011 and efforts to keep the city council land, used as recreational space by the community since 1947, public were finally thrown out by the High Court last year when it rejected a Town Green registration by Bristol City Council.

Now Cotham School are going ahead with their unpopular £160k plan to fence off most of the 26 acre site using dubious ‘PERMITTED DEVELOPMENT’ rules signed off by council planning officers. These rules conveniently stop the issue coming to a planning committee, despite the fact that the school’s plans are OPPOSED by the community, their councillors and their MP, Darren “Dipshit” Jones.

Although all is not quite going to plan for the school, who, since moving contractors on to the site in January, have been caught UNLAWFULLY attempting to put fence posts through the roots of ancient and protected trees and close enough to a badger sett to endanger the animals. Both actions are unlawful and the school already has been forced to quickly redraw their plans TWICE while on site.

Quite why the school needs to fence off the land, let alone DESTROY our city’s NATURAL HABITAT in the process, is something of a mystery. Many schools use public land WITHOUT FENCING as playing fields and, even, OFSTED, has agreed there’s no safeguarding reason why the land should be fenced off and the community effectively THROWN OFF THEIR OWN LAND.

Why can’t this annoying little school run by destructive nature-hating loonies share the space?