Category Archives: In The Courts

Our fine local legal establishment

HISTORY COMMISSION’S OWN GOAL HELL

tim-cole-v2
Own Goal Cole: let’s hope his taste in history is better than his taste in shirts

What do you get if you combine a committee of snooty academics from the University of Bristol with a committee of time-serving Labour Party Hacks? THE BRISTOL HISTORY COMMISSION!

This ongoing FARCE, set up by the Reverend Rees in the wake of the Colston statue dethroning, has lurched from PR COCK-UP to PR DISASTER and now seems to be aiming to achieve all-out city-wide LAUGHING STOCK status. 

The Commission got off to bad start with lots of people from across the city when its newly appointed Chair – who no one had ever heard of – University of Bristol History Professor Tim “OWN GOAL” Cole, decided, after a phone call with the CPS over the summer, that his Commission would COLLABORATE with the Avon & Somerset Police and become part of the criminal justice system. 

Own Goal, we learn, UNILATERALLY made the dubious decision – of questionable academic ethics –  that his commission would be part of the PUNISHMENT for protestors who hauled down the Colston statue and got conditionally cautioned by police for criminal damage. Prof Own Goal agreed to oversee a questionnaire where protestors would set out their reasons for their actions. Remarkably, most members of the commission only learned of Own Goal’s dodgy decision when they read about it in the Guardian on 18 September!

Own Goal’s next brilliant wheeze was to get some interns in to do the commission’s work for them because all these very important people are “TOO BUSY“. Own Goal personally advertised the internships – exclusively for University of Bristol post grads – at £10 PER HOUR funded by his Brigstowe Institute who, we’re told, receive money from, er … Wait for it … the MERCHANT VENTURERS, the city’s loathsome Colston cultists and dodgy statue enthusiasts!

Own Goal’s ad immediately came to the attention of #shitjobwatch, who monitor “very precarious or exploitative University of Bristol jobs”. They described the four internships as a “FIRST CHOICE” example of such practices. What does History Commission member and head of the South West TUC Nigel Costley have to say about that then?

And finally, when is Own Goal going to get off the phone to the Guardian, get his arse in gear and answer the simple set of questions about his commission sent to him last August by the Bristol Radical History Group? 

Has Own Goal got any answers?

AVONMOUTH COUNCILLOR ENTERS WEIRD SPACE-TIME VORTEX AS LAUNDRY TRIAL DATE SET

Freedom for laundries!

Despite the express instructions of District Judge Rowe at Bristol County Court last month that they negotiate an immediate solution to ‘The Ridiculous Case of the Shuttered Laundry’ at Antona Court within two weeks, Bristol City Council’s legal and housing goons have done the EXACT OPPOSITE and made no effort whatsoever to settle the dispute.

The case, now regularly featured in the local and national press as a post-Grenfell tale of the underdog against stupid, incompetent and uncaring bureaucracy that wants you dead, will now go to FULL TRIAL on 25 September.

Council housing bosses – in their determination to maintain an iron grip on Antona Court’s shared laundry facility and to treat their social housing tenants like shit – will obviously be funded by YOU, the taxpayer, to take part in this magnificent courtroom drama attempting to prevent laundry being done between the hours of 8.00pm and 8.00am in Shirehampton.

The complainant, BBC Radio 4’s Steve “Stormin'” Norman will continue to cost you ABSOLUTELY NOTHING as he represents himself again in his hugely entertaining skirmish with the forces of arrogance, stupidity and small penises at the helm of Bristol City Council.

Meanwhile, creating an additional layer of utter CONFUSION and PARALYSIS to the affair is Avonmouth’s Labour councillor Don “Lenin” Alexander, who appears, now, to have taken up residence in his own personal parallel universe somewhere near Sea Mills.

Steve emailed Don earlier this week politely requesting his presence at the trial as a witness. “As the case is now SETTLED as far as the laundry is concerned I’d much rather use my time more profitably,” Don beamed back from his alternative space-time vortex.

Er, how can the case be settled if it’s in court on 25 September? Has the council secretly negotiated a settlement with itself behind closed doors that it’s banned from publication? Maybe the council’s sacked this irritating judge who expects them to do some work and appointed lazy sod Don and his culture of zero expectation instead? Is this a new Don/council definition of ‘settled’ that approximates to the traditional term ‘not settled’? Is Don simply OFF HIS FACE on something?  Who knows? But Don’s such consistently good value, he could be put on permanent special offer at the new Lidl in Lawrence Weston.

Meanwhile, the man running the show, The Reverend Rees – a SAD and LONELY figure at Bristol’s Labour Campaign Forum AGM this week as socialists seized control of his local party and consiged to the grave his wet-weekend third way politics of submission to the markets – tells Steve he thinks his grandmother will listen to the forthcoming Radio 4 documentary on Antona Court and its controversial laundry.

The idea of knocking some management heads together or kicking his officers and string-pullers extremely hard up their backsides until they do something involving common sense and the direct request of a District Judge is clearly way beyond this weak and feeble man (surely you mean GLOBAL LEADER indoctrinated in free market economics at Harvard, Ed).

GAGA GOES A-GAGGING

News of former city council Chief Exec, Nicola “Lady Gaga” Yates’s ridiculous £196k pay-off for failure from the Rev Mayor Rees recently appeared in the Nazi Post accompanied by some commentary from local rent-a-quote Tory buffoon Richard “BUNTER” Eddy.

Alas, this public revelation of her OPEN TROUGHING at the direct expense of the Bristolian public hasn’t gone down too well with Gaga. So she’s got some Liverpool-based self-styled leftie lawyer firebrands Messrs Bootfill and Carpetbag (surely EAD SOLICITORS, ed) – who describe themselves as “proud to support Trade Unions” and er, “greedy bastard former public sector executives”, it seems – to threaten Bunter with LIBEL.

To his credit, Bunter has basically told Gaga and her crappy little legal firm of five star hypocrites to FUCK OFF and take up any libel matters directly with the Post who actually published the information.

It’ll be interesting to see, then, whether Gaga and her FLAT TRACK BULLY employment law experts take up Bunter’s suggestion they sue the Post for libel. Or are they just a bunch of bluffers prepared to prey on the weak, the scared and the ignorant?

Watch this space …

ps. any scouse legal firm specialising in employment law (and pretending to be left wing to drum up business from the gullible) that wish to threaten us with libel can send piss weak threats to us at: thebristolianATgooglemail.com in the first instance. A reply is assured!

LEGAL NEWS aka Dean Blake’s ‘Crisis PR management’ update

Our man who bothers to pay attention to media law draws our attention to this story on the BBC:

Parody copyright laws set to come into effect

What it basically says is that a European Copyright Directive now allows the use of copyright material for parody so long as it is fair and does not compete with the original version.

And here is that amendment in English law:

copyright law

And what this means is that if Cabot Learning Federation wish to take action against us in regards to their alleged copyright of this image …

Brunel Academy

… Then they’re going to have to take us to court and persuade the judge it isn’t funny!

What a day in court that will be. Book your seats now!

DODGY BUSINESSMEN RUNNING OUR SCHOOLS: #1 THE CHILD KILLER

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This spiv is running our schools

Meet Peter “HIGH” Price. He’s a director of the Cabot Learning Federation, which runs a load of schools in Bristol including Bristol Brunel Academy, John Cabot Academy, Hanham Woods Academy, Kings Oak Academy and Bristol Metropolitan Academy.

Price is also a systematic CHILD ABUSER. He happily oversees a cruel disciplinary regime at his schools called “ISOLATION“. Basically Price permits his senior bosses to detain children in an empty room on their own with nothing to do all day for minor breaches of his silly school rules.

We believe this revolting practice of imprisoning children against their will is an abuse of these children’s HUMAN RIGHTS and should be classed as child abuse. We also believe the perpetrators of such crimes should be being INVESTIGATED by the authorities. Does any parent out there believe they would not be subject to investigation if they forcibly shut their child away on their own in a room all day with nothing to do?

However, we doubt criminality really bothers “Right” Price that much. Because, in his day job, Price is a senior executive in ROLLS ROYCE‘s “Defence Aerospace business sector”. This means he basically designs and builds weapons that blow – mainly Middle Eastern – kids up for big, BIG BUCKS!

In comparison to being murdered from 30,000 feet by one of Price’s state-of-the-art WAR PLANES, being put in “isolation” for the day is not much of a big deal is it? A rather small crime against humanity that can be overlooked in Price’s alternative moral universe perhaps?

Peter’s shitty little company, Rolls Royce, meanwhile, are fighting off accusations of “multi-billion dollar BRIBERY and KICK-BACK schemes” in just the US, Indonesia, China, Brazil and India at present!

So is this character, a senior boss in an extraordinarily DODGY INDUSTRY steeped in murder, bribery, corruption and the dark arts, really morally fit to run our schools? And is this ARMS PROFITEER really capable of sound judgement? Especially when you consider he’s dedicated his whole life to designing machines able to kill substantial numbers of children more efficiently.

The Bristolian says Price out now! We want school bosses who deal in humanity not death.

COMING SOON: DODGY BUSINESSMEN RUNNING OUR SCHOOLS: #2 THE DODGY LAWYER FUNNELING SIX FIGURE SUMS OF PUBLIC MONEY FOR EDUCATION INTO HIS FIRM

Ooh, er missus: LEGAL THREAT OF THE DAY

Dean

Oily or wot?

Another day, another legal threat … This one comes courtesy of Dean “SHIFTY” Blake, an oily looking character in a cheap pin stripe suit.

Dean styles himself “Communications Manager, Cabot Learning Federation” and appears to be touting for private business for himself using a picture of David Cameron, here, on a website entirely paid for by tax payers allegedly to promote, er, educating our kids.

Microsoft Word - Cabot.docx

Oily PR for hire ..

Anyway, it seems cry baby Dean is upset with this amusing little photo we published recently:

Brunel Academy

Although please note, he doesn’t dispute the content of our story on the Bristol Brunel Academy, published here.

Anyway, here’s Dean’s soppy little threat to us in full:

Dear Sir

This photograph is the property of Bristol Brunel Academy. Neither the Academy, nor those featured in the picture, have given their permission for the photograph to be used in this way. Please remove the photograph from your website as soon as possible for the following reasons:

1. Infringement of copyright; Bristol Brunel Academy own this picture
2. Safeguarding of staff and students
3. Defamation of character in regard to the member of staff

If this image has not been removed within 24 hours of this message being posted, we will escalate proceedings via our legal team.

Ooh! Fighting talk! It’s always a good idea to threaten us!

Although, in the first place, if there’s a “safeguarding” issue with this photo, maybe Dean should not have published it along with all the other photos of kids on his own public website? Or does he only use the safe bit of the internet?

So here’s our response to Dean:

Hi Dean, you soppy little PR plonker,

If you wish to send us legal threats then please do it through a fucking lawyer. We’re hardly likely to take any notice of some witless, half-educated wannabe PR bloke in a cheap pin stripe suit are we?

In the meantime, can we suggest you and the rest of your Cabot Learning Federation fuck off and get on with educating our children properly rather than picking a fight with a local news service who are simply pointing out that you’re abusing children. Last time we looked, locking people away against their will was an abuse of their human rights. We suggest you stop it.

Finally, please note, any “legal” correspondence sent to us will be immediately posted online so that we can all howl with laughter at it. We also reserve the right to put in FoI requests to find out how much of our money – meant for the education of our kids – will be handed over to a provincial Temple Quay law firm to argue aimlessly with us over a comedy photo.

In the meantime, thanks for keeping this story rolling for us. Top PR work mate!

We look forward to hearing from your non-existent “legal team”.

Regards,

Oh happy days …

AVONMOUTH ASTROTURF

Astroturf

Astroturf

A pro-business, pro-polluter grassroots campaign called ‘AVONA’ appears to have mysteriously sprung up in Avonmouth.

The ‘ASTROTURFING’ campaign (known as such because of its fake grassroots) appears to be very well funded indeed through a mystery slush fund, apparently being handled by a local business-friendly resident, Ian Smith with the help of a local church!

Smith has already set up a cheesy branded ‘Avona’ website registered in his name and he’s helped create and distribute 4,000 USELESS GLOSSY QUESTIONAIRES to residents. These questionaires – complete with paid reply envelopes – must have cost a fair few quid and it isn’t clear where Smith got the cash from.

Not least because neither ‘Avona’ nor any of the other names he uses for his “COMMUNITY ORGANISATION” like ‘Avonmouth Projects’ or ‘Avonmouth Village’ have formal constitutions, memberships or open accounts we can have a look at.

A handy means, then, of handling cash from UNDISCLOSED SOURCES who might want to avoid the scrutiny of any successful anti-pollution campaigners in Avonmouth. Especially campaigners who have been hitting business hard where it hurts – in the wallet.

As the Bristolian has already reported, Smith received £1,000 into his personal bank account from bust criminal waste polluters Boomeco just before last Christmas to fund seasonal festivities for the community in Avonmouth. This money has subsequently DISAPPEARED without explanation after many residents demanded it was returned to the polluters.

Smith also recently launched an ATTACK in the The Nazi Post on the organisers of a, potentially, multi-million pound legal class action against the local criminal polluters, Boomeco responsible for 2014’s fly plague. He described the trio as ‘VILE’ and claimed no one in the village supported them.

An unlikely claim as 200 residents have signed-up to SUE THE ARSE OFF Boomeco and its boss Oliver Latter. Smith, meanwhile, can claim the support of, er, Boomeco plus the company’s chief supporter and supplier of public money, Mayor Poison and some RETARDED VICAR prepared to put mysterious cash handouts through his church accounts to help out local businesses keen to fight local campaigners.

Smith is also reputed to have requested cash for a leaflet/questionaire from George Ferguson when he attended a small INVITATION-ONLY community meeting with Mayor Bent-as-Fuck in Avonmouth on 25 June. A PRIVATE MEETING organised through the supposedly public and city council-run Neighbourhood Partnership.

Quite why Bristol City Council would consider handing money to an individual POSING as a community organisation without working through the agreed, open and accountable Neighbourhood Partnership grants process is not at all clear.

Neither is it clear why Avonmouth’s Neighbourhood Partnership boss and city council employee, Keith “Lazy Boy” Houghton, has been offering support and encouragement to Smith, a FRIEND OF LOCAL POLLUTERS, while marginalising the views of, at least, 200 RESIDENTS involved in a wildy successful legal action against er, LOCAL POLLUTERS!

Rest assured the Bristolian will be keeping a close eye on these dodgy dealings …

SPIN WATCH WITH MATT BAKER #3: PAEDO SMEAR BOY WILL BE SUED NEXT WEEK!

mattbakerA semi-regular series on the ‘chequered history’ of the mayor’s new spin doctor, MATT “PAGE 3” BAKER, former bag-carrier and sleaze slinger for Labour’s hugely entertaining MP for Rochdale, Simon Danczuk.

Oh dear. It’s a full blown scandal!

It’s goes from bad to worse for Mayor Cock Up and his new spin doctor, Matt “Page 3” Baker.

It was revealed last night on the BBC’s North West Tonight news show that a Labour councillor in Rochdale who has been SMEARED AS A PAEDO by Baker will be starting legal action for lbel against him next week!

See this legal threat in all its glory. Just follow this link: BBC North West Tonight – Baker paedo smear story and the fun starts at about 8 minutes in.

We understand Baker has spent the last three days and a considerable part of his fee from Mayor Gullible trying to stop this being broadcast. Tragically he failed!

We also understand that while Baker told Rochdale Online last week he had “no recollection or record of sending this email [smearing a Labour colleague as a paedo]”, Baker has now claimed to a BBC reporter that his email account must have been “hacked”!

What will his tall story be next week?

#walrustrial: HOPKINS’ COPS A BELLYFLOP

Gary “FUCKBUCKET” Hopkins, local Lib Dem boss and the undisputed king of ridicule, has reported a Bristolian to the police claiming ‘harassment’ after a four line comment appeared in the Evening Post on Friday:

Forsey comment

After trying to contain themselves the officers at Broadbury Road police station happily dismissed the idiot time wasting liberal’s demented claim.

For, alas, it seems the cops at Broadbury Road have become a lot less accommodating of Fuckbucket’s personal foibles and requests since Southmead Police have started investigating their conduct with Hopkins.

Issues such as Broadbury Road cops handing Fuckbucket and his Lib Dem colleague, Mark Bailey, police intelligence regarding the Gothic Mansion at ASBO case conferences are now firmly in the spotlight.

Police are also becoming interested in hearing if the tiresome Fuckbucket is yet being investigated by the council for his behaviour. This was confirmed by the mayor and legal services a few weeks ago.

He doesn’t like it up him does he?

#walrustrial: WE PAY FOR HOPKINS’ VENDETTA

The council run prosecution/VENDETTA against Misha Simmonite orgainsed by Gary “Fuckbucket” Hopkins has cost us council tax payers a cool £18k.

At a sentencing hearing last Wednesday council lawyers attempted to retrieve £27k in costs from Ms Simmonite only to be LAUGHED OUT OF COURT by magistrates who awarded them £9k costs instead.

That means the council tax payer has to pick the rest of this extortionate tab. These petty councillor-led vendettas are pricey aren’t they?

Council lawyers also failed to slap one of their notorious BENT ASBOS on Ms Simmonite at the hearing. An ASBO application by the council was also thrown out as it was DEEMED ILLEGAL by magistrates.

We’re told the council left the court very dejected.