Category Archives: The BRISTOLIAN Gallery

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WE’VE GOT THE POWER?

WE'VE GOT THE POWER?

By our Engineering Correspondent
You may have heard the local Labour and Green parties, followed by our esteemed Mayor, making very public declarations about their plans to make Bristol Carbon Neutral in the coming decade. Very sensible given the recent UN statement that we only have twelve years to avoid climate catastrophe … And counting.

They’ve talked the talk, now they’ve got a chance to walk the walk. With Bristol’s very own ‘Tidal Lagoon’, a term actually used by the Green party. Although it’s usually called the ‘Floating Harbour’. In January the Mayor, Labour, and all Green Councillors were mailed, pointing out the unequalled opportunity to generate significant amounts of carbon neutral electricity at minimal cost, from Bristol’s water system.

You can think of the harbour as a tidal lagoon, in which case it’s got the highest tidal range, at its gates, in a city, in the world. Two massive surges every day. Or you can look at it as a simple reservoir and dam, fed by two rivers, both used historically for power generation.

Actually, it’s both. With a flood control outlet (at Tesco on the M32) that leads via a straight tunnel to Sea Mills. It’s difficult to imagine a better set-up for water-based power generation. Every weir, from the main inlet at the Netham on the Avon and Snuff Mills on the Frome, right down to the Underfall Yard and Sea Mills flood control outlets, are capable of making useful power.

Unlike the Swansea tidal lagoon scheme, the entire infrastructure already exists. All the dams, weirs and flood control features are in place. Some have been there for over a century. Literally all that’s needed is the installation of appropriate turbines, themselves stock production items already in use all over Europe.

First step is the not hugely expensive job of producing a map of the whole water system, including details of all the potential power generation points.  This map can be taken to European water power specialists, currently being contacted, to get an accurate estimate of potential outputs and costs. If Bristol doesn’t have this data it will be compiled from Google Maps plus photos and video. Then it’s decision time. Given satisfactory figures and effective management (executive ‘action this day’) it would be feasible to have power coming out of the easiest installations this year.

Response so far?  Zero. Nada. They’ll all be mailed again In March (eleven years and nine months…) It’s not totally surprising. BCC is an institution and the first instinct of all institutions is to ignore inputs from outside. But they don’t really have that option. This is an emergency. All solutions must be considered. Bristol City has to step up to the plate, if nothing else for their revolting children.

This is where we find out if our glorious leaders Can Do, or are just useless politicians.

Watch this space.


THE OFFICIAL GARY HOPKINS MEAT RAFFLE PORTRAIT COMPETITION PRIZE GIVING EXTRAVANGANZA SCANDAL SHOCKER – PICTURES!

Gary Hopkins Meat Raffle competition winner @guriben presented with his prize and official certificate by BRISTOLIAN intern Jooohn Ag Jnr

The Gary Hopkins Portrait Meat Raffle 2013 competition winner @guriben presented with his pork prize and official certificate by The BRISTOLIAN’s spokespirate Jooohn Ag

That Gary Hopkins Meat Raffle prize certificate in full

That Gary Hopkins Meat Raffle prize certificate in full

It was with great pleasure that The BRISTOLIAN‘s spokespirate Jooohn Ag was today able to present the winner of the inaugural Gary Hopkins Portrait Meat Raffle competition, local internet personality @guriben, with his prize: a bag of meat to the value of £5, plus a certificate.

At a glittering ceremony hosted at the Bristol home of international piracy, the Llandoger Trow on King Street, @guriben received three tubes of what can only be described as rather grey-looking ‘sausage meat’ from one of south Bristol’s finest budget butcher’s.

Sadly the competition’s muse, Councillor Hopkins, was unable to attend himself due to a last-minute airport run.

Said the talented artist, whose exposure through The BRISTOLIAN has now brought him commissions:

I really wasn’t expected a real meat prize!

Well, the prize is definitely real, but we make no claims as to whether it is ‘meat’ or not…

BRISTOL’S OFFICIAL GARY HOPKINS PORTRAIT ARTIST IS… @GURIBEN!

‘Meat Zeppelin’, Councillor Gary Hopkins, watercolours, 2013, @guriben

‘Meat Zeppelin’, Councillor Gary Hopkins, watercolours, 2013, @guriben

After a week of hard voting, Bristol has spoken – @guriben wins the Official Gary Hopkins Portrait Meat Raffle Competition with his marvellous painting entitled ‘Meat Zeppelin’.

A special presentation of a £5 barrel bag of pork (painter’s preferred meat) will be made to the victorious artist sometime in the near future, hopefully with photographs and everything…

Congratulations to @guriben, and to all the other entrants – because in a way, we’re all winners (except Cllr Hopkins, that is).

VOTE EARLY & VOTE OFTEN! THE OFFICIAL BRISTOLIAN GARY HOPKINS PORTRAIT MEAT RAFFLE COMPETITION IS *ON*!!!

[polldaddy poll=7465155]

Right, polling is now open – and will remain open until 5pm, Monday 4 November 2013 – so now is the time to choose the portrait which you think best encapsulates Bristol City Council’s GARY HOPKINS, Lib Dem councillor for Knowle.

There’s a £5 bag of meat (or meat substitute) at stake for the artists, so please poll responsibly…

BRISTOLIAN GALLERY: ‘VLAD DRACUL’

‘Vlad Dracul’

Cook_by_Guriben

Councillor Simon Cook, pencil & watercolours, 2013, @guriben

Here’s @guriben’s eerie take on actor Simon Cook, who in his spare time is the yin to Christian Martin’s yang as a Lib Dem councillor for Clifton East, as well as mismanaging the leisure, tourism, licensing and community safety portfolio within Mayor George Ferguson’s Cabinet. Just in time for Hallowe’en!

If Bristol City Council doesn’t snap him up soon as its official artist, then he will likely be snapped up by South Gloucestershire, BANES or – worst of all – North Somerset…

BRISTOLIAN GALLERY: ‘KIND BUT STILL’

‘Kind But Still’

Councillor Gary Hopkins, ink and brush, 2013, Jeff from Bedminster

Councillor Gary Hopkins, ink and brush, 2013, Jeff from Bedminster

The entries for the Official BRISTOLIAN Gary Hopkins Portrait Meat Raffle Competition are coming in thick and fast – this just in via email from Jeff in Bedminster.

In the words of the artist:

Ive been a bit to kind i think but still…

Remember, voting for the best portrait takes place all next week!

BRISTOLIAN GALLERY: ‘CHRISTIAN OR WHATEVER’

‘Christian Or Whatever’

Councillor Christian Martin, watercolour, 2013, Guriben

Councillor Christian Martin, watercolour, 2013, Guriben

That @guriben is shaping up to be practically artist-in-residence for The BRISTOLIAN – here’s his take on the Lib Dems’ Clifton East councillor, Chris ‘Not That One’ Martin.

As the paint-thrower himself noted:

what was this gel-haired twats name again?

THE OFFICIAL BRISTOLIAN GALLERY GARY HOPKINS PORTRAIT MEAT RAFFLE COMPETITION – NOW ON!

Draw, paint or etch Councillor Gary Hopkins - WIN a £5 BAG of MEAT!

Draw, paint or etch Councillor Gary Hopkins – WIN a £5 BAG of MEAT!

The unexpected success of the BRISTOLIAN Gallery – and in particular the number of renderings of Gary Hopkins – means that the mooted GARY HOPKINS PORTRAIT MEAT RAFFLE COMPETITION is GO!

With a stupendous prize of a £5 BAG OF FINEST BRISTOL MEAT* up for grabs for the best likeness of BCC’s Councillor Who Most Looks Like A Seventies TV Cop, who wouldn’t want to enter?

RULES:

  • There are no rules – this is ART.
  • Submit your portrait through the usual channels. Each entry will be given its own page as it comes in.
  • Enter as many portraits as you like.
  • After the closing date, all pictures entered will be posted up in a single post with an online poll. Readers can then choose which they think is the best…

CLOSING DATE FOR ENTRIES:

5pm, Monday 28 October 2013

CLOSING DATE FOR VOTING:

5pm, Monday 4 November 2013

AND THE WINNING ENTRY IS…

The prize winner will be announced at 9am on Tuesday 5 November – to jointly celebrate art, Hopkins, and Bonfire Night!

LET BATTLE COMMENCE!

* The competition winner gets to choose what kind of meat – so long as it’s raw beef, chicken, pork or lamb – with flesh-free options of TVP, tofu or quorn for veggie types