Monthly Archives: January 2017

DIM DAYA: WHAT DO WE PAY HER?

Dim Daya

Congratulations to Bristol City Council legal eagle SHAHZIA “DIM” DAYA. For it seems this time-serving, lower middle ranking public law semi-professional has hit the big time and the BIG CASH and has been appointed permanent Head of Legal and Monitoring Officer at the council on a wedge not unadjacent to £75k a year (plus a potential performance related ‘uplift’).

BRISTOLIAN readers may recall Dim Daya THREATENING The BRISTOLIAN last year on behalf of her then boss, Sanjay “Under” Prashar. One of the FOUR hapless chumps employed by Mayor-No-More Redpants to bodge together dubious legal decisions for his administration.

Daya and Prashar took exception to The BRISTOLIAN publishing some of their self-styled “secret” documents regarding huge overspends on the doomed Metrobust project and they threatened to DRAG US INTO COURT unless we removed the documents from our website forthwith. Ooh-er, missus!

Alas, we immediately pointed out to Dim Daya that The BRISTOLIAN can publish what the fuck it likes as stamping ‘CONFIDENTIAL‘ on embarrassing documents and lying to councillors about their legal status has no meaning whatsoever to the Smiter or in a British court.

Having delivered our succinct lesson in public law, Dim Daya conveniently took our advice to the letter and immediately fucked off never to be heard from again. While her “secret” documents still reside on our website FOR ALL TO VIEW as they please.

Now it’s been brought to our attention that despite handing over a £75k salary to Dim Daya for the last year as their interim legal boss, it seems bosses at the council share our view that Dim Daya is another OVERPAID INCOMPETENT not up to the job.

Because a quick glance through the council’s EXPENDITURE SPREADSHEETS for 2016 reveals that they have paid one Philip McCourt, ‘consultant solicitor and chartered secretary’, £61k last year to “provide support and mentoring to the interim monitoring officer; conduct a review of Bristol City Council’s companies; and enhance the governance arrangements for shared devolution proposals across the West of England.”

In other words we’ve been forking out for someone to do Dim Daya’s bloody job. McCash has also been “retained to provide advice over 2016/17”, which means more of our money will be spent PROPPING UP Dim Daya for a further six months at least.

Yet again at Bristol City Council, it’s austerity for us, the plebs, while huge sums of money are expended on them – the cult of the useless at City Hall.

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT #10

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT, BOOK TEN
Verses 33-34: Attempts to bribe Guardians

xxxiii. In recent days, a most righteous pressure has been placed on evil Property Guardian Company CAMELOT to much belatedly conform to Environmental Health regulations at ye properties they lease from Bristol City Council. But woe! This hath only led to scandalous attempts by Scamalot to BRIBE Guardian-Tenants!

xxxiv. THE BRISTOLIAN can reveal that in order to avoid having to service another shower at one property under EH regulations, Scamalot offered £650 to a Guardian-Tenant in return for leaving ye property, callously stating that this person was “worth less than a shower”.

More verses of this woeful tale of wickedness shall be recounted in Ye Chronicles of Scamalot, Books Eleven to Twelve, run exclusively in THE BRISTOLIAN

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT #9

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT, BOOK NINE

Verse 32: The cursed list of defects at CAMELOT properties in Ye City of Bristol

xxxii. THE BRISTOLIAN hath now visited all seven Bristol City Council owned properties run by ‘Property Guardian Company’ Scamalot that have between them more than 100 Guardian-Tenants, plus a variable number of Meridian workers (30-35 on average at any one time) paying cash-in-hand without any written contracts at one of these (see Ye Chronicles Book 1). A pattern of foul and shocking neglect and abuse can be found in all of these properties. Problems include:

  • Leaks from the roof
  • Extensive damp
  • Urine soaked rooms
  • Faulty electrical systems, leading to repeated shocks
  • Rat, mouse and flea infestations
  • Fire-doors removed by Camelot
  • No hot water
  • 10-20 people using one shower, and in some cases having no showers
  • No response to complaints or the reporting of hazards
  • Failure to secure the properties, or to provide security for residents
  • Lighting removed from hallways
  • Leaks of water into electrical appliances
  • Doors into Guardians’ private rooms smashed in by Camelot employees
  • Threats, assault and racist abuse by Camelot employees
  • Camelot employees searching through Guardians’ personal items
  • Asbestos hazards
  • Reported hazards that led to injuries not being addressed
  • Numerous repairs begun, but never completed
  • Deposits not returned as a matter of course
  • Rent raised numerous times for spurious reasons
  • Illegal fines, backed up by eviction threats if these are not paid

More verses of this woeful tale of wickedness shall be recounted in Ye Chronicles of Scamalot, Books Ten to Twelve, run exclusively in THE BRISTOLIAN

IS OUR MAYOR A CONSPIRALOON?

Our Reverend Mayor continues to deploy his limited intellect to poor effect. Now he’s spreading fake news through his personal Facebook account:

Alas, had the Reverend bothered to do some basic research rather than believe any old bollocks he reads on the internet, he would have discovered that the mass pilgrimage for Arbaeen, a religious festival, to Karbala in Iraq takes place every year and is nothing to do with ISIS.

The religious festival and pilgramage are also reported in the media so there’s no conspiracy of silence about it whatsoever.

The Reverend might also like to note the website his Facebook ‘news’ is promoting – http://www.voiceofshadows.com/ – has sections on ‘Aliens’; ‘Conspiracies’ and ‘Mysteries’.

So there’s just a few giveaways there for the slightly discerning reader …

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT #8

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT, BOOK EIGHT

Verses 29-31: Threats falsely depriving Guardians of their democratic rights

xxix. Property Guardian Company CAMELOT’s ‘baron-serf’ feudal contract containeth the following ‘gagging’ clauses on its guardian/tenants:

10.22 The Guardian will not attempt to contact the owner.
10.23 The Guardian will not speak to the media about the owner, Camelot, or the Property.

xxx. And yea, for those Guardians that payeth rent to ye same robber barons from Bristol City Council fiefs, the owner is of course BCC, which according to Scamalot – Guardians are ‘not allowed to speak to’ under any circumstances, regardless of whether this conversation is with Environmental Health, Tenancy Relations, or even with local councillors!

xxx1. In the year of 2015 it is further written that Scamalot Accounts Manager Harriet Wilmot used these clauses above to threaten Guardian-Tenants at Broomhill EPH with immediate eviction if they spoke to their local councillors about their plight. Wilmot also hath the brazen nerve to tell them that they were not allowed to be on the electoral roll!

More verses of this woeful tale of wickedness shall be recounted in Ye Chronicles of Scamalot, Books Nine to Twelve, run exclusively in THE BRISTOLIAN

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT, BOOK SIX

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT, BOOK SIX

Verses 22-24: Collective Punishment

xxii. Since the launch of ye court cases by Broomhill Guardian-Tenants to fight for their rights as tenants, vile Property Guardian Company CAMELOT hath issued rent increase notices to other Guardian-Tenants. These notices state that “because of the court cases, extra costs have been incurred by Scamalot and these will be passed on (to you) as rent increases”.

xxiii. This kind of collective punishment is to intimidate Guardian-Tenants from fighting for their rights and to undermine any legitimate combination and self-organising by such rightfully aggrieved and angered persons.

xiv. So what next? Will Scamalot presume to demolish your family’s house if you stand up to them, like ye Israelis doth in ye Holy Land today? Or do they wish to return to the bad old days of ye west country Tolpuddle Martyrs – and transport off to hard labour in ye colonies any of their Guardian-Tenants that dare to form combinations??

More verses of this woeful tale of wickedness shall be recounted in Ye Chronicles of Scamalot, Books Seven to Twelve, run exclusively in THE BRISTOLIAN

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT #7

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT, BOOK SEVEN
Verses 25-28: Ye Interns & Hackney Council

xxv. It is written that in 2015 Hackney Borough Council in London kicked Property Guardian Company CAMELOT out of Hackney for nefarious deeds and most righteously terminated their contract: see in ye Guardian article https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/dec/24/the-high-price-of-cheap-living-how-the-property-guardianship-dream-soured – or to quote from ye scribe:

…Earlier this year Camelot lost its contract with Hackney Council. Guardians were told that the council had found out that Camelot had misled them about the fees paid by guardians, and that Camelot was using the property to house its own unpaid interns, who were exchanging work at the company for a roof over their heads.”

xxvi. And it has since been uttered at the moot of Bristol’s discontented and rebellious peasants that if Hackney could do this to Scamalot, then surely, by The Name of Ye Scourged and Crucified Saviour worshipped by our Mayor, Bristol could too? “After all,” as spoke up one peasant elder, “Scamalot’s so-called intern scheme in London at best resembleth ye Victorian Workhouse (to work for free for only a roof over your head), or at worst… it spells out the re-introduction of ye hated serfdom!

xxvii. So in that moment the crowd roared in outraged response, “Nay, nay and thrice nay!” shaking their pitchforks and scythes together like one furious beast with many arms and heads.

xxviii. And lo! It happens that THE BRISTOLIAN hath evidence that Scamalot were brazenly running ye exact same system in Bristol, despite such shameful exposure in Hackney. Is BCC fine with Scamalot running a system of “modern day slavery” on their premises?

More verses of this woeful tale of wickedness shall be recounted in Ye Chronicles of Scamalot, Books Eight to Twelve, run exclusively in THE BRISTOLIAN

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT #5

YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT, BOOK FIVE
Verses 17-21: Ye Sorcerer Coven of Empica and their labours

xvii. The whistleblowing of Property Guardian Company CAMELOT’s neglect and intimidation, and their public exposure as money-grabbing slum lords, hath led it to employ a PR coven of dark side mages under the shunned name of Empica, a sorcerous circle of fiends that issueth every full moon with their train of bats and wolves from the very heart of foul corruption and evil wizardry in this afflicted realm, Canary Wharf in London.

xviii. So the witches and wizards of Empica signed the pact with Scamalot in blood, swearing to deflect difficult questions and cast glamour spells over Scamalot’s failings by presenting it instead as some kind of housing ‘charity’ dedicated to solving the housing crisis, rather than its reality as a profit sucking slum landlord living off the backs of people faced with homelessness. Yet alas ye Canary Wharf PR sorcerors of Empica, despite their pact in securing Scamalot’s already damned souls for eternal torment, turned out to also be a bunch of half arsed con-artists (much like their employers) and not much up to ye task in hand.

xix. Empica’s first labour was to make a proclamation to the people of Bristol. But is was just a cunning spell to put us to sleep dreaming of happy Guardiantenants, Camelot housing the homeless out of the kindness of their hearts and revolting peasants ruining everything by demanding their rights as tenants (see ye Empica spell parchment attached).

xx. Empica’s second labour was to find a Camelot Guardian-Tenant who was ‘happy’ living in the foul conditions and get them on TV. This was no easy task with the peasants in open revolt. After scouring the hills and dales of Bristol, Empica’s witches and wizards found a Guardian-Tenant who could be bewitched.  A BBC TV interview was then aired on Points West with the ‘happy Guardian-Tenant’ sitting next to PAUL LLOYD (ye disgraced and crooked Regional Manager of Scam-a-lot in the South-West), explaining how he loved living at Coombe EPH in Westbury-on-Trym. However, the white witches of THE BRISTOLIAN smashed the Empica spell, as it turns out the ‘happy Guardian-Tenant’ was not actually living at BCC Coombe EPH in Westbury-on-Trym at all.Instead, he had been kidnapped by Empica/Camelot from a non-BCC property in central Bristol. A ‘put up job’ about as flimsy as Camelot’s reputation in these times of greed and lying.

xxi. And so it was that the white witches of THE BRISTOLIAN were easily able to disarm and safely expose Empica and their shoddy, third-rate PR spells to public scorn and ridicule.

More verses of this woeful tale of wickedness shall be recounted in Ye Chronicles of Scamalot, Books Six to Twelve, run exclusively in THE BRISTOLIAN.

GUARDIAN SCHEME PROVIDES HOMES AND PROTECTS PROPERTIES

A scheme in Bristol that allows “Property Guardians” to live cheaply in temporarily unused properties provides homes for 70 people and protects around 10 buildings from damage and squatters.

Camelot Europe, which operates similar systems in cities across Europe, says everyone benefits from the Bristol properties being used for housing on temporary licences.

Paul Lloyd, South West regional director for Camelot Europe said: “Contrary to recent claims by a small number of people there is no ‘scandal’ over this type of scheme, which has been running successfully for many years in Bristol and throughout the UK and Europe.

“The vast majority of those living in properties across Bristol are happy to have accommodation at low cost on the understanding that they may have to leave at short notice when decisions are made on the future of those buildings.

“Among our clients are Bristol City Council and at the former Broomhill Elderly People’s Home in Brislington some guardians are challenging a legal notice to leave. This will be decided by the courts. Our case is that we have served the notices properly as those currently in the Broomhill property were there as licensees and guardians of the property.

“Bristol city council want to demolish the property to build vitally needed affordable housing and we hope they can progress with that as soon as possible. Broomhill was occupied by guardians longer than was initially expected as the council was deciding on the building’s future

“The licensee status of guardians is vital for the system to work and licensees benefit by paying around 50% or under of local market rate so it is win-win as it protects the properties for the owners and provides short-term cheap living accommodation for those who need it.

“We want to reassure those living in other properties that we will continue to operate in the same way. Having property guardians allows organisations like Bristol city council to protect their properties while at the same time enabling people who need cheap accommodation for a short while to find a temporary home.”

ENDS

Issued on behalf of Camelot Europe by Empica. For further information contact Martin Powell (01275) 394400.

REES AND BRADSHAW: A WARNING FOR THE FUTURE

It’s been announced today that the council is withdrawing its plan to build a 4.5m wide road through Victoria Park for the benefit of posh cycle lobbyists in West Bristol.

This is the article we intended to publish in the next issue of The BRISTOLIAN on the issue. We leave it here as a warning to the Reverend Rees, and his idiot cabinet sidekick for transport, Mark “BEAR” Bradshaw, and any other Labour Party vandal who think they can fuck with our open space.

Try it and we will make you pay …

VICTORIA PARK: DIRECT AND TO THE POINT

There’s dark mutterings about “direct action” emerging from Windmill Hill and Totterdown if the Rev Rees, Mark “BEAR” Bradshaw and the cycle lobby fanatics running their transport department go ahead with their plan to build a road for cyclists through Victoria Park.

The economics of this are pretty straightforward. How much extra money is the Rev Rees prepared to throw at a pointless £500k cycling project to secure it? Five per cent? Ten Per cent? £50k doesn’t go far in repairs and security these days does it? Metrobus has reputedly spent more than £1m securing their Stapleton allotments site from protestors.

And remember, while the £500k for the road may come from central government, Rees will have to find any overspend on the project from his own shot-to-fuck council budgets. So if Rees wants to take the piss out of local residents; local residents can easily take the piss back and hit him where it really hurts – in the wallet.

To the barricades park lovers!