Council in evictions brewery/piss-up non-shocker

Chaos reigns at Bristol City Council over its policy on the HATED BEDROOM TAX…

After councillors across the board REJECTED their own cross-party report produced by the Greens’ Sir Gus Hoyty-Toyty, esteemed Cabinet Member for Big Promises & Sharp U-Turns.

Hoyty-Toyty’s report proposed SCRAPPING the ‘no eviction’ policy the city has had since the introduction of the tax because “it is not easy to distinguish between an inability to pay as a result of the introduction of the bedroom tax and inability to pay as a result of other circumstances” – though it would seem like a simple matter of arithmetic to most people.

He was also concerned a ‘no eviction’ policy would be “unfair and would affect the services of those tenants, often on low incomes, who do pay”. An interesting argument, this: ‘We need to be unfair to people in order to be fair’!

He further argued such a policy “could be unlawful” – though he provided NO LEGAL OPINION to back this up. Perhaps he heard it down the (organic craft ale) pub?

And finally, for his pièce-de-résistance, Hoyty- Toyty decided “a clear statement” needed to be made to the poor “to ensure the importance of paying rent is understood by all tenants”.

Excellent. We’re all for clear statements at The BRISTOLIAN so here’s one for Hoyty-Toyty:

FUCK OFF and STOP PATRONISING US you OVERPRIVILEGED LITTLE TWAT.

Hoyty-Toyty was then supposed to present this steaming pile of moralising bullshit to a council meeting last Tuesday. But alas, he had to go to “an important engagement on behalf of the mayor”, or ‘JOLLY TO NORWAY’, depending on your point of view.

Cue UPROAR in the council chamber as the Lib Dems demanded that the report was brought back in December so Hoyty-Toyty could explain himself.

The Labour Party demanded a vote to continue the ‘no eviction’ policy – slightly odd as their party colleagues in Leeds voted to scrap their own ‘no eviction’ policy the very next day; Hoyty-Toyty’s Green colleague Tess Green, despite being on the committee with him and agreeing the report, reputedly backed Labour; while independently- minded Mayor Fergo independently mused out loud that he was minded to independently scrap ‘no evictions’ as no other core city was doing it so why should we? The Tories, meanwhile, were presumably just pissing themselves laughing…

And the result? Er, nobody’s quite sure. Although a non-binding vote was passed by councillors to return to the report in December while Mayor Fergo indicated he would take a decision sometime, possibly after consulting with his cabinet colleagues… Assuming he can find a time when they’re not all gallivanting around Europe AT PUBLIC EXPENSE.

What a total shambles.