Loopey Oxbridge cat lady Sarah “Tigger” Crew, the Chief Constable of Avon and Somerset Police, has turned the 2,717 rapes recorded in the area for 2023/24 into another roaring policing success.

Despite there being more rape reports per 1,000 people in Avon and Somerset than any other force in Britain, Crew explained at a press conference that “it is not so much about the number of offences being committed but the willingness of people to report it.”

So that’s all right then