BLUE MONDAY: HORSEWORLD BOSS PINOCCHIOWEN BRIDLES AT CRITICISM

Web ExclusiveTroubled charity boss Mark ‘Not That One’ Owen is back from his LOVELY SKIING HOLIDAY today, and it seems that the pissed off Pinocchiowen has wasted no time in exercising those fabled management skills of his that have dug HorseWorld into its financial hole.

Yes, now that he is back hard-working staff, who were left shovelling the horse-shit caused by his failed financial schemes whilst he jetted off for a nice posh break on the slopes, are now in fear for their jobs thanks to his RIDICULOUS REDUNDANCY PLANS.

On his return to the office this morning, the equine charity chump wasted no time in touring his (soon-to-be-ex-) stomping ground, doing a lot of… well, stomping. Owen has never been backwards in coming forwards with his anger, but insiders say Blue Monday has seen “a ‘stompathon’ to beat all previous stompathons.”

Our spies also tell us that he was straight onto his computer and phone, wheezily admonishing anyone who he felt had criticised his years of misrule.

It’s not just those who’ve publicly spoken out – like ex-trustees in the comments section of this very website: it was those who’ve facilitated others doing so… So the Western Daily Press has caught a gobbet of his bile for DARING TO PRINT A CRITICAL LETTER and then refusing to reveal to Pinocchiowen the ‘name and address supplied’.

In fact, anyone who has done anything other than wholeheartedly back him 150 per cent is now in the firing line – which doesn’t leave many people unscarred. Just most of the current trustees and a couple of members of his management team, we reckon.

Completely coincidentally (of course!) a Twitter account which has been revealing some truths about the management of HorseWorld based solely on public domain information, @HorseWispas, (which has been gathering followers quicker than you can say “£2 million lost in three years”) was SUSPENDED just this morning. Whether this was as a result of a spurious complaint from the notoriously over-sensitive Kim-Jong-Owen is anyone’s guess.

It’s certainly fair to say that your humble ‘Smiter’ is not Pinochiowen’s favourite blog, but he’s baffled by the sources of the tales of his woe we have been able to publish. He desperately wants to know where the paper all Bristol really did ask for gets its info from.

Well Mark, the thing is with a sinking ship – it’s just full of leaks…

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