Strange goings-on down at WELSH BACK as Bristol City Council attempt, yet again, to get their ‘O’ and ‘M’ Sheds at the far south of the street PRIVATELY DEVELOPED into an upmarket dockside restaurant and leisure complex for wankers.

Joe “JACKASS” Jeffrey, a Principal Property Officer with the council, has been skulking around Welsh Back for some time now ordering HOUSEBOAT OWNERS, some of whom have been moored alongside any proposed development for over 30 years, to move immediately, at their own expense, to Bathurst Basin.

The houseboat owners, naturally, are not that keen to be EVICTED by the council from the place they call home. While many Bristolians may be similarly shocked to find this kind of pressure being exerted on what many of us consider to be part of the fabric of the modern docks.

None of this is a concern to BULLY-BOY JEFFERY, however. He’s told the houseboats to move or else! He’s even claimed the council has a “BOTTOMLESS PIT” of money to fund legal action against the boat owners if necessary.

Presumably our old friend and Mayor Bumhole’s legal gimp, council monitoring officer, Sanjay “Under” Prashar has authorised this then?

Which is all rather strange. Because there’s currently no live planning application for the site and there’s not even, as far as we can see, a preferred developer appointed since plans for the site promoted by Cordwell Developments collapsed in 2009.

Perhaps the reasons for that collapse might give us some idea what’s going on then?

-Cordwell’s 2009 planning application was rejected for the following reasons: the loss of the London Plane Tree [at the junction of Welshback and Redcliff Way]; the massing and height of the replacement M Shed building; the privacy and access to HOUSEBOATS and the lack of adequate refuse storage.

How convenient would it be if one of those pesky reasons – the HOUSEBOATS – were simply removed from the scene before any planning application went in?

The smell of foul play in Welsh Back air is hardly dispelled by an email from a councillor to one of the houseboat owners, which says, “the most important thing to say is that the attempt to move you has been agreed by THE MAYOR“!

Surely the mayor wouldn’t be doing a favour for a mystery private developer friend? Would he?