Mayor Georgie Porgie, presumably now aware as the rest of us that he has no hope of getting reelected next year, is resorting to DESPERATE MEASURES to keep his incompetent backside in the mayoral hot seat.

Rumours arrive at The BRISTOLIAN that Mayor Unelectable has now come up with a barking mad new election strategy … He wants to go into a COALITION with the electorally successful Greens to improve his reelection chances!

He’s reported to have approached the ever-expanding party of hapless wealthy lefties claiming that “we are basically the same. We want the same things”!

What same things? Unicycle lanes for trainee jugglers? Endless promotion of Luke “Small Dick” Jerram’s 6th form art projects? A cheap ex-council property?

Alas, apart from Southville councillor and former Bristol Green Party leader, “RIGHT” CHARLIE BOLTON, who’s been residing up Georgie’s backside for at least ten years now, no Green seems very keen to take up the offer of an ELECTORAL SUICIDE PACT fronted by Mayor Loser.