Bristol’s premier citizen Mayor George Ferguson made an unannounced visit to the local Anarchist Bookfair today – only to face TEA-BASED RESISTANCE to his shameless grandstanding.

The MILLIONAIRE MAYOR bumrushed the doors at the Trinity Centre – putting a paltry two quid into the donation bucket – in what appears to have been a bizarre publicity stunt that soon went very wrong indeed.

Once spotted, the Red Trousered self-publicist found himself mobbed by angry punters keen to tell him what they thought of his budget-slashing cuts, with bumbling Fergo able only to repeat variations of his standard line that “I’m not making any cuts, it’s the government!” – our favourite being “that’s a government imposition that we have to deal with!” Oh George, are you telling us that you’re just EXPENSIVE WINDOW-DRESSING?

Anyway, it wasn’t enough to appease one book-lover, who promptly chucked their cup of tea over the Tobacco Factory Baron before ‘directing him to a question from the floor’.

Having returned to his feet and dusted himself down, noted libertine George then composed himself enough to point his election-winning fake smile at a cameraphone whilst posing with a copy of your favourite scandal sheet (though he later unsportingly described The BRISTOLIAN as “fiction”), do a quick circuit of the building and then leave, angrily MUMBLING TO HIMSELF ABOUT IAN BONE.

Well George, it was nice of you to fit in a trip to a part of Bristol that isn’t Clifton into your busy schedule of Very Important Foreign Excursions – but perhaps next time things might pan out better if you didn’t treat it like a safari…