Bristol 24/7 have appointed a new super exciting investigative journalist, Louis “YES BOSS” Emmanuel – the Nazi Post’s old office boy – to their hapless team of has-beens, inadequates and deadbeats.

Just a few days after starting at the richman’s vanity operation, the super-
sleuthing buffoon burst into the HYDRA BOOKSHOP on Old Market loudly demanding in his posh twit voice, “where do I find an anarchist”.

After the HILARITY had eventually died down, someone stepped forward, happy to tell the hack all about his chosen subject – “police oppression”.

Alas, barely five minutes into the conversation a confused, bemused and terrified Emmanuel turned and scarpered out of the shop never to be seen or heard from again!

So far, his heart-stopping EXCLUSIVE police expose is yet to appear. Did the mayor redline it?

Instead, it seems, the expert hack has now turned his attention to another huge public interest story – BRISTOL NEWS. A Facebook page run by a local resident that’s highly criticalof Mayor 24/7 and his dodgy antics that consistently go unreported by, er, Bristol 24/7.

Louis, for some reason, has bravely delivered a threatening ULTIMATUM by email to the owner of this Facebook page. “This is your last chance to work with us,” barked 24/7’s attack puppy.

And then what happens we wonder? Are Louis’ inept bosses Mike “Cunt” Bennett and Fat Dougal losing so much money and getting so thoroughly TROUNCED by competition from a Facebook page they’re going to run a smear campaign against their rival written by an idiot?

Will this boost their DISMAL circulation figures then? Or will it just promote their part-time, superior competition a little bit more?