When Plimsoll Bridge on Cumberland Basin got stuck open in December, Mayor Fergo claimed that it would “MILLIONS” TO FIX –  and made ominous sounds about the need to lay off yet more workers to offset the bill.

As ever, the privately-educated berk was way off-beam in his predictions – thanks to the graft of the very workers he wants to ‘streamline’ into redundancy, the actual cost of repairs is now thought to be closer to £5-10,000.

Of course, whilst the millionaire Mayor is always keen to pay lip service to Bristol’s ‘maritime heritage’, and has made a pretty penny or two out of his business involvements in various COUNCIL-SUBSIDISED ferry companies, Fergo is a little less hands-on with the nitty-gritty.

That might explain why Fat Fingered Fergo is demanding a rise in mooring fees for boats in the docks – but the MISERLY MAYOR HASN’T COUGHED UP for the full licence for his own boat!

Pay your dues, George – or one day you’ll find your floating crib has been scuttled by disgruntled scurvy seadogs…