GEOFF’S USUAL LOAD OF CODS GOLLOP

At a recent meeting of one of the council’s Scrutiny Committees, Labour’s lumbering and not terribly numerate finance spokesman, Mark ‘Small’ Brain, quizzed the mayor’s new Tory finance chief, Geoffrey ‘Cods’ Gollop, on his plan to fire a load more Internal Auditors to save a few quid (so that His Royal Mayorness George the First can invest in proper council services like talking lampposts and INFLATABLE VEGETABLES, no doubt).

‘Small’ rightly pointed out that sacking Internal Auditors might be a stupid thing to do as they can save the council a small fortune by detecting and stopping many of the frauds, rip-offs, serial incompetencies and outright thefts regularly committed by Cods Gollop’s management.

“Nonsense!” boomed the Tory accountant before explaining that his plan to introduce some new untried and untested financial software would make such frauds a thing of the past and therefore Internal Auditors entirely expendable.

At this point the former Lib Dem Leaderene Babs Janke herself butted in to Cods Gollop’s paean to the infallibility of computer software to say, “I remember last year when I ran the finances and you were in opposition you asked me the very same question and didn’t like that answer!”

It’s not politics they’re doing down at the Shitty Hall is it? It’s musical fucking chairs.

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