KING GEORGE THE GREEN ‘A SWEATSHOP BOSS’!

Whilst Mayor Fergo embarks on a jubilant celebratory bender to mark Bristol winning the expensive right to call itself ‘EUROPEAN GREEN CAPITAL 2015 (announced at a ceremony in the French city Nantes, which naturally George felt compelled to attend) we can hazard a guess as to his strategy for greenifying the city – unplugging anything electrical that might make working for him bearable.

Thanks to commenter Concerned for this tasty morsel:

Talking of Fergusons Tobacco Factory Bar model of low-status, low-wage and no-rights employees, I mentioned to one that his sweat dripped on the bar as i bought an overpriced pint during that rare hot spell recently. He moaned that FERGUSON DELIBERATELY DOESN’T HAVE AIR CONDITIONING IN THE BAR as it makes people thirstier, unlike his penthouse style quarters upstairs.

We look forward to George and his talented Rainbow Hotdesk Imagineering Roundtable Collective (AKA the council’s Cabinet) coming up with other similarly outside-the-box ideas to foist upon ordinary Bristolians to offset their own hot air emissions.

Kidney dialysis machines which only work if you’ve put your rubbish in the right recycling box, perhaps? Or a low impact water taxi service powered by oar-pulling children paying off their parents’ Bedroom Tax bills? Or – gasp – maybe at last the dream will be made reality…

A BOULEVARD OF SOLAR-POWERED INFLATABLE VEGETABLES?!

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