All 4

After a ludicrous PR blitz announcing that Channel 4 would be setting up a small ‘creative hub’ in Bristol – apparently all thanks to the tremendous persuasive powers of the Reverend Rees – comes the SECRETIVE NON-ANNOUNCEMENT regarding the cost to council tax payers.

This ‘creative hub’ opportunity created a lot of EXCITEMENT among certain local authorities around the country who desperately wanted to look fashionable. Authorities spent months battling and outbidding each other to attract to their area just 50 TV EXECS from London who devise shite new reality TV formats and game shows.

And, naturally, Bristol – never a city to knowingly turn down an opportunity to PISS AWAY MONEY on some marginal crap with ‘creative’ in the title – came out on top with Channel 4 agreeing to locate one of their crappy offices here. Cue rapturous celebrations from the city’s self-styled creatives and their hangers-on.

However, not so much noise has accompanied the publication by Bristol City Council of their ‘CHANNEL 4 CREATIVE HUB HEADS OF TERMS’. Basically a document setting out how much council taxpayers will be forking out to encourage a few twats from London to work from an office in Bristol.

NO FIGURES are issued in this head of terms but it does state what we’ll be shelling out for. This includes “dedicated support staff to facilitate the transition to Bristol’ because, presumably, a bunch of gormless TV execs can’t arrange to move offices by themselves?

Other areas of EXPENDITURE include “support for proposals for an Accelerator and a Channel 4 Academy,” whatever they may be, as well as “potential office space”. Because, presumably, an organisation turning over £960million a year urgently requires SUBSIDY from Bristol’s council tax payers towards their office space?

These secret subsidies – or bribes if you like – were all signed off by the Reverend’s new Chief Exec Mike “BILLIE JEAN” Jackson in December. Billie Jean arrived from North Somerset to scoop up a £165k a year salary in Bristol last summer.

And Billie Jean’s last act at as boss in North Somerset? Er, to sign off the purchase of the SOVEREIGN SHOPPING CENTRE in Weston-Super-Mare. The shopping centre M&S have just pulled out of.

Makes you wonder how will Billie Jean’s latest business deal with Channel 4 will pan out doesn’t it?

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