It looks like “Little Read” Olivette Otele, Bristol University’s new high-profile woke diversity hire brought in to foghorn A HARMLESS LIBERAL VERSION OF THE HISTORY OF SLAVERY at us, is going to be very good value indeed. One of Little Read Olivette’s first moves was to announce on Twitter that she wanted “to put together a list of UK based black scholars 1/ historians with a PhD in History or PhD students. 2/ working on the history of slavery, memory, memorialisation and legacies of the past (Atlantic, Transaharian, Indian Ocean).”

Unfortunately her request didn’t go down too well with some chippy WHITE ACADEMICS who felt left out of the ELITIST WOKE HISTORY PARTY. But they had no reason to worry because Little Read soon returned to Twitter to explain, “I’m told that as identity is fluid, ONE CAN CHOOSE TO BE BLACK. So white born can choose to be black and non white born can choose to identify as black as in political blackness.”

So that’s all right then. Anybody white can just pop on a black identity like A PAIR OF UNDERPANTS every morning when they get dressed and become a black scholar. Who knew being a black scholar was so accessible these days? Indeed WHAT THE FUCK IS BEING BLACK ANYWAY if we follow Little Read’s advice to its logical conclusion?

And yes, before you ask, we are paying Little Read handsomely to educate our young people in this deranged drivel. Happy days.