Outgoing Avon & Somerset Police Chief Constable COLIN ‘DOUGHNUT KING’ PORT thumbed his nose at austerity-hit Bristolians in January by landing them with a tab of more than £4k tab for his ‘gourmet’ nosh-up private leaving do at Bristol Zoo in January.

Port, a former boss of the notoriously corrupt South East Regional Crime Squad (SERCS), left his post as Bristol & Bumpkinshire’s top cop after being told to reapply for his job by new Police & Crime Commissioner SUE ‘PASTIE QUEEN’ MOUNTSTEVEN last November.

Obviously realising that presiding over three Stokes Croft riots in a single Summer in 2011 didn’t help his chances, the fleshy-faced flatfoot decided to jump before he was pushed – threatening wrongful dismissal lawsuits all the way.

No stranger to getting others to cover his bill, Port ratcheted up nearly £15,000 in expenses over the years, including £437.40 on WHITE TIES for posh dinners and £56.81 on malaria tablets – obviously an essential requirement for policing Britain’s tenth largest city.

Bristol’s own Keystone Khief Konstable’s next move is anyone’s guess – though a plum ‘consultancy’ with IBM might be in order, given its involvement with A&S in the abortive privatisation venture ‘Southwest One’.

Best ask Mrs Port – also known as SWO’s Sue Barnes.