Tag Archives: Cabot Learning Federation

CAN’T PAY? YOU CAN’T PLAY!

Do you remember when footie was a simple game? Four jumpers and a ball and children of all ages could enjoy a kickabout? Those days have gone, as the national game becomes a COMMODITY TO CONSUME supported by the Football Association and million pound companies pretending to educate children, like the Cabot Learning Federation.

The City Academy in East Bristol, recently RIPPED UP their astroturf to lay a state of the art 4G playing surface. The youth football teams that trained there were told to train elsewhere for a couple of months and return to a lovely playing surface to improve their skills.

Then the trouble started. The cowboys employed to do the work, ripped it all up, and then announced that the drainage was substandard and that would be ANOTHER £250K please. Remember that old chestnut? I do. My Nan was conned by a gang driving around, promising new tarmac paths and disappearing over the hill after they ripped them up. They came back, after their poor victims had been housebound for a couple of weeks, and DEMANDED MORE MONEY.

The only difference between these two sets of fucking spivs, is my Nan’s lot got nicked. The one’s that CONNED the Academy and the children of East Bristol, will probably get an OBE and BONUSES on their shares.

After much wrangling between the suits, a price was agreed and the pitch was laid. Hooray! The FA said on their website while celebrating the new pitch, that “by providing more high-quality facilities, coupled with coaching at the appropriate age group, the Premier League and The FA Facilities Fund aims to improve the experience for regular players as well as attracting new players to the game. Many of the new state-of-the-art facilities will serve to strengthen the connection between professional football clubs and their local communities, PARTICULARLY IN THE MOST DEPRIVED AREAS OF THE COUNTRY, through the professional clubs’ community trusts’ outreach work.”

What a load of bollox. Instead parents, players and coaches are now being told that they now have to FORK OUT for new boots to be able to use the state of the art pitch. This was never explained prior and these boots range from £40 upwards. The youth football teams star many children from single parent families, families on benefits and, even, refugees without access to benefits. They are told that they CANNOT WEAR astro trainers, or moulded boots. They must be Nikes or Adidas. Worse still, coaches are expected to turn away poor children, and some have.

Stories abound of crying kids being turned away. One parent told The BRISTOLIAN, “I have 3 boys, so that’s over £150, plus the kit, and the weekly subs. We have to go to foodbanks to make ends meet. That is the end of it for us.”

One coach close to The BRISTOLIAN said “I’m not spending my coaching time turning kids away. I do this to include, not exclude. My team is losing players, because they are poor.”

Is this the SOCIAL CLEANSING of our football? Will future World Cup squads just be made up of middle class kids, who can afford various boots? Why can’t players wear astro turf trainers on astro turf and then wear them to school as many do at present? SPORT SHOULD BE FOR ALL, not just the well to do. They have taken our swimming pools, libraries and now they’re after our football.

Enough now surely?

LEGAL NEWS aka Dean Blake’s ‘Crisis PR management’ update

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Our man who bothers to pay attention to media law draws our attention to this story on the BBC:

Parody copyright laws set to come into effect

What it basically says is that a European Copyright Directive now allows the use of copyright material for parody so long as it is fair and does not compete with the original version.

And here is that amendment in English law:

And what this means is that if Cabot Learning Federation wish to take action against us in regards to their alleged copyright of this image …

… Then they’re going to have to take us to court and persuade the judge it isn’t funny!

What a day in court that will be. Book your seats now!

DODGY BUSINESSMEN RUNNING OUR SCHOOLS: #2 THE LAWYER FUNNELING PUBLIC FUNDS INTO HIS PRIVATE FIRM

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Con “Man”

Step forward Cabot Learning Federation director, Con “MAN” Alexander, who also happens to be a partner in one of Bristol’s many second rate provincial law firms, REALE WASSOCK WANKARDS (surely Veale Wasborough Vizards? Ed.) This former advisor to the WEALTHY on TAX EVASION has now set himself up as a self-styled expert on charity law for the firm we understand.

Although we’d suggest that if you’re seeking quality advice on charity law, you might want to take your business elsewhere. Because a brief glance at the Cabot Learning Federation accounts for the last couple of years reveals that Man’s legal firm has TROUSERED a whopping £214,000 in fees courtesy of the very organisation Man is supposed to be objectively overseeing for us.

And just to be clear, these WHOPPING FEES being handed to Man’s legal firm, come directly from TAXPAYERS’ MONEY meant to be spent on our children’s education.

Of course, these types of huge payments to one of the Federation’s director’s own firms are clearly PRECLUDED by the Articles of Association of Cabot Learning Federation. Article 88 makes it perfectly clear that Man, as a director of this charity, which manages huge sums of public money on our behalf, should not have any financial interest in any contract the charity awards.

It’s also one of the most simple and BASIC RULES of charity governance that directors should not have a personal financial interest in any contract awarded by the charity they govern.

And this certainly includes any contract between Cabot Learning Federation and Man’s own bloody legal firm. Man, as a partner in the firm, would, undoubtedly, DIRECTLY FINANCIALLY BENEFIT from the lucrative work they’ve undertaken for the Federation. We’re talking about large SIX-FIGURE PUBLIC CONTRACTS here too. Not a few extra quid for some largely pro bono work done as a favour.

Here at The Bristolian we’re now on standby waiting for a fatuous THREATENING LETTER from REALE WASSOCK WANKARDS that will no doubt be charged – maybe at up to £100 an hour? – to the public purse that Man controls.

This aimless legal drivel will, no doubt, result in, at least, a few more hundred quid of public money being shovelled into the grasping hands of Man and his firm and out of our kids’ education budget.

Anyway, nice to know we’re paying to keep posh blokes in pinstripe suits in their upmarket homes isn’t it? – KERCHING!

NEXT UP: DODGY OLD TEACHERS RUNNING OUR SCHOOLS: CHILD TORTURER RON RITCHIE OBE

DODGY BUSINESSMEN RUNNING OUR SCHOOLS: #1 THE CHILD KILLER

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This spiv is running our schools

Meet Peter “HIGH” Price. He’s a director of the Cabot Learning Federation, which runs a load of schools in Bristol including Bristol Brunel Academy, John Cabot Academy, Hanham Woods Academy, Kings Oak Academy and Bristol Metropolitan Academy.

Price is also a systematic CHILD ABUSER. He happily oversees a cruel disciplinary regime at his schools called “ISOLATION“. Basically Price permits his senior bosses to detain children in an empty room on their own with nothing to do all day for minor breaches of his silly school rules.

We believe this revolting practice of imprisoning children against their will is an abuse of these children’s HUMAN RIGHTS and should be classed as child abuse. We also believe the perpetrators of such crimes should be being INVESTIGATED by the authorities. Does any parent out there believe they would not be subject to investigation if they forcibly shut their child away on their own in a room all day with nothing to do?

However, we doubt criminality really bothers “Right” Price that much. Because, in his day job, Price is a senior executive in ROLLS ROYCE‘s “Defence Aerospace business sector”. This means he basically designs and builds weapons that blow – mainly Middle Eastern – kids up for big, BIG BUCKS!

In comparison to being murdered from 30,000 feet by one of Price’s state-of-the-art WAR PLANES, being put in “isolation” for the day is not much of a big deal is it? A rather small crime against humanity that can be overlooked in Price’s alternative moral universe perhaps?

Peter’s shitty little company, Rolls Royce, meanwhile, are fighting off accusations of “multi-billion dollar BRIBERY and KICK-BACK schemes” in just the US, Indonesia, China, Brazil and India at present!

So is this character, a senior boss in an extraordinarily DODGY INDUSTRY steeped in murder, bribery, corruption and the dark arts, really morally fit to run our schools? And is this ARMS PROFITEER really capable of sound judgement? Especially when you consider he’s dedicated his whole life to designing machines able to kill substantial numbers of children more efficiently.

The Bristolian says Price out now! We want school bosses who deal in humanity not death.

COMING SOON: DODGY BUSINESSMEN RUNNING OUR SCHOOLS: #2 THE DODGY LAWYER FUNNELING SIX FIGURE SUMS OF PUBLIC MONEY FOR EDUCATION INTO HIS FIRM

Ooh, er missus: LEGAL THREAT OF THE DAY

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Oily or wot?

Another day, another legal threat … This one comes courtesy of Dean “SHIFTY” Blake, an oily looking character in a cheap pin stripe suit.

Dean styles himself “Communications Manager, Cabot Learning Federation” and appears to be touting for private business for himself using a picture of David Cameron, here, on a website entirely paid for by tax payers allegedly to promote, er, educating our kids.

Oily PR for hire ..

Anyway, it seems cry baby Dean is upset with this amusing little photo we published recently:

Although please note, he doesn’t dispute the content of our story on the Bristol Brunel Academy, published here.

Anyway, here’s Dean’s soppy little threat to us in full:

Dear Sir

This photograph is the property of Bristol Brunel Academy. Neither the Academy, nor those featured in the picture, have given their permission for the photograph to be used in this way. Please remove the photograph from your website as soon as possible for the following reasons:

1. Infringement of copyright; Bristol Brunel Academy own this picture
2. Safeguarding of staff and students
3. Defamation of character in regard to the member of staff

If this image has not been removed within 24 hours of this message being posted, we will escalate proceedings via our legal team.

Ooh! Fighting talk! It’s always a good idea to threaten us!

Although, in the first place, if there’s a “safeguarding” issue with this photo, maybe Dean should not have published it along with all the other photos of kids on his own public website? Or does he only use the safe bit of the internet?

So here’s our response to Dean:

Hi Dean, you soppy little PR plonker,

If you wish to send us legal threats then please do it through a fucking lawyer. We’re hardly likely to take any notice of some witless, half-educated wannabe PR bloke in a cheap pin stripe suit are we?

In the meantime, can we suggest you and the rest of your Cabot Learning Federation fuck off and get on with educating our children properly rather than picking a fight with a local news service who are simply pointing out that you’re abusing children. Last time we looked, locking people away against their will was an abuse of their human rights. We suggest you stop it.

Finally, please note, any “legal” correspondence sent to us will be immediately posted online so that we can all howl with laughter at it. We also reserve the right to put in FoI requests to find out how much of our money – meant for the education of our kids – will be handed over to a provincial Temple Quay law firm to argue aimlessly with us over a comedy photo.

In the meantime, thanks for keeping this story rolling for us. Top PR work mate!

We look forward to hearing from your non-existent “legal team”.

Regards,

Oh happy days …

STALAG LUFT CABOT

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Cabot Learning Federation, which includes Bristol Brunel Academy, John Cabot Academy and Bristol Metropolitan Academy is at the centre of a ROW with parents. This is due to their new disciplinary policy, which is OPPRESSIVE to say the least

The new policy means children are being sent to ‘ISOLATION’ for speaking, chewing gum or not having the proper uniform. Even having your shirt untucked can lead to conflict with the wardens, er, I mean teachers! Stories emerging from parents suggest that having the WRONG COLOUR SOCKS can lead to a pupil missing a day’s schooling and being dumped in conditions that might meet a UN definition of torture!

Isolation basically means that the child is excluded from all lessons and is put into a bare room on their own with NOTHING TO DO. They are not allowed to speak to anyone and there is no education for the child that day.

While the schools’ web site bangs on about how absences from school means a child misses out and could fall behind, these schools are more than happy to let a child “miss out” for chewing some gum. Parents can get large fines and even prison for taking their child on holiday during term, yet headteachers get MASSIVE SALARY REWARDS for forcing a young pupil to miss a whole day of school for talking to a friend.

Parents say this DRACONIAN PROCEDURE is crushing children’s spirits and making them hate school. Many pupils are trying to get out of going to school. One pupil said that “they’re more concerned about my uniform than teaching me”.

Parents have spoken about their children being excited or enthusiastic about lessons then being put into ‘isolation’ because they vocalised their happiness. Some teachers are also unhappy with a regime that makes them ‘isolate’ more and more pupils for SOPPY INFRINGEMENTS.

Meanwhile school bosses continue to advocate this ZERO TOLERANCE rule for any pupil behaviour they deem a distraction. One parent who challenged this system was told in no uncertain terms that the school would EXCLUDE their daughter if she talked in class.

This was always going to be an issue with academies. They can bring in their own disciplinary policies and rather than support children with any behavioural issues they can just EXCLUDE them … After trousering the funding of course!

Teachers who used to manage classrooms and the children within are now instructed to get rid of any minor problem and SERVE A MESSAGE TO OTHERS. Then we’re left with desperately unhappy children whose spirits are crushed and who feel bullied.

Perhaps this gets them ready for the boredom of work in a warehouse or call centre after they leave Bristol Brunel Penitentiary? One disgruntled parent told the Bristolian that their happy child, who used to love primary school now hates school.

“They would do anything to get out of going,” she told us.