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FROM ‘THE BRISTOLIAN’ WITH LOVE TO ‘FROM BRISTOL WITH LOVE’

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PINCH, PUNCH, THE FIRST OF THE MONTH…

It’s been a busy few weeks here at the BRISTOLIAN secret editorial bunker (with a lot of big, big scandalous stories brewing – watch this space!), so apologies for the recent radio silence on the website.

In the meantime, why not fill your time listening to the ever-excellent online radio station and podcast, From Bristol With Love?

The latest edition is #41, and features the musical stylings of Bristol artistes Redlight, The Qeld, and Dub Mafia & Buggsy, with your genial hosts Dick Gherkin and Durston Fletcher expounding on a range of hot local topics, including:

  • Bristol city centre’s Car-Free Sunday
  • St Paul’s Festival preparations
  • Local woman & penis vs man
  • Louis Theroux impersonator in Somerset
  • MAYOR WATCH (Your run down of George Ferguson’s latest cock ups)
  • Giant White Jesus in the ass end of Bristol
  • Festival Reviews and insider critique
  • As well as all your local news and gossip

And of course, don’t forget to check out their extensive back catalogue of shows as well.

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PS Your super, soaraway next issue of The BRISTOLIAN will be hitting the streets around about Wednesday 7th/Thursday 8th August

At last night’s post-Thatcher Death Street Party public meeting at Easton Community Centre, Bristol Mayor George Ferguson announced an unexpected new platform to his administration – COMPULSORY RIOTING.

The millionaire mayor unveiled the policy after explaining that he’s a big fan of Bristol’s history of radical politics (“as long as it’s not upsetting other people”) – though not such a fan of anything that might actually change how things are now, unless it involves giant solar-powered inflatable vegetables.

In the words of HIS ROYAL REDTROUSERS:

Riot at the right time, and in the right way.

George’s statement last night has left many across the city wondering what would pass as an acceptable riot in our Glorious Mayor’s libertine eyes. The BRISTOLIAN understands that he is not yet able to release a comprehensive ‘riot guide’ on appropriate disorder etiquette.

In the meantime we call upon him to indicate on a ‘right riot’/’wrong riot’ basis which of the following chapters in Bristol’s social history would meet his criteria for a FERGO RIOT KITEMARK?

  • BRISTOL BRIDGE, 1793
  • QUEEN SQUARE, 1831
  • OLD MARKET, 1932
  • ST PAUL’S, 1980
  • SOUTHMEAD, 1980
  • HARTCLIFFE, 1992
  • STOKES CROFT, 2011
  • NATIONAL RIOTS, 2011

At the meeting IL PUCE regretfully also railed against your favourite super, soaraway scandal sheet when questioned by audience members about his numerous business interests, at one point snapping:

I think you must have read that in The Bristolian – Don’t believe anything you read in that.

We have been unable to confirm whether this slip of the tongue was caused by inappropriately-prescribed medication.