Tag Archives: US-Bristol trade relations

MEET THE REVEREND’S GURU

MEET THE REVEREND’S GURU
Kris “Voldemort” Vallotton

Last issue, we revealed our Reverend Mayor’s close connection to a Christian evangelical cult based in Redding, California known as BETHEL SCHOOL OF SUPERNATURAL MINISTRY (BSSM). In this issue, we investigate its co-founder who met with the Mayor for dinner at a swanky hotel in London. An event entered in the Mayor’s public business diary for January as ‘discussing US-BRISTOL TRADE RELATIONS’.

BSSM co-founder and the church’s globe-trotting Apostle Kris ‘Voldemort’ Vallotton appears to be Marvin’s GURU and if you visit his blog you will discover a very Californian mix of state-of-the-art web design and new age personal ‘self-help’ waffle. All effortlessly fused with guru Vallotton’s brand of ‘Apostolic’ evangelism, the belief in MIRACLES, SUPERNATURAL AGENCY, ‘FAITH CONQUERS ALL’ etc.

This living Apostle who claims to be part of a ‘ROYAL PRIESTHOOD’ asks his followers to ‘disciple’ cities and nations by seeking out and converting their ‘PEOPLE OF INFLUENCE’.  Whether they are business leaders, politicians or clergy (we know from the FoI on their meeting that Marvin is well known to Vallotton already, as is his spin-doctor Kevin ‘Slo’ Slocombe). Everything is focused on personal faith conquering all. Perhaps the most indicative blog entry in regards to Marv’s prospective social policy is ‘8 STEPS FOR BREAKING FREE FROM A POVERTY MINDSET’.

Voldemort’s blog also seems to hold particular venom for abortion and casual sex. Have a glance at front page blog entry ‘THE POLITICAL SPIRIT IS KILLING OUR BABIES’ for example, where ‘Secular Humanism’ in league with the ‘silence’ of doctors and scientists is held responsible for the ‘MASSACRE OF FOETUSES’.  At the end of this diatribe we are told to ‘rise up, and be courageous’?!? Sex, we are told is like ‘gluing two pieces of wood together’, and you ‘leave bits of the other piece of wood attached’ if you ‘prise them apart the next morning’. Hence, as Voldemort tells us, ‘A PIECE OF YOUR SEX PARTNER REMAINS ATTACHED TO YOU FOR LIFE!

Perhaps the most bizarre (and revealing) blog entry from Marvin’s personal guru is this one on ‘ACTIVATING YOUR CHILDREN INTO A SUPERNATURAL LIFESTYLE’ that oddly juxtaposes alleged ‘ABORTION GENOCIDE’, childish ‘sightings’ of angels and demons (the latter identified because they’re black) and hints of unspecified ‘monsters in closets’.

But perhaps the most pertinent question of all in relation to our own Reverend Mayor is why is he so wrapped up in such a RICH WHITEY cult from the USA? And why does he worship in Hotwells (and formerly, Clifton) instead of Easton or Lawrence Hill where he lives, for example?

Check out Kris Valloton’s blog at https://krisvallotton.com/blog