Tag Archives: Marvin Rees

REES: DEAD AS A DODO

REES- DEAD AS A DODO

The decision by the Reverend Rees to SCRAP the arena at Temple Island finally puts a rubber stamp on the worst kept secret in the city. The Reverend finally revealed his hand on 3 September, after two years of arsing about, when he condemned the Temple Meads arena as “AN UNDELIVERABLE VANITY PROJECT”.

Instead the Reverend has opted for pension fund, Legal & General, to create a mixed-use development scheme including a conference centre for Bristol University on the EXTREMELY VALUABLE site adjacent to Temple Meads station. Sketches of plans so far produced by Legal & General have been unfavourably compared to “the worst kind of municipal scheme from the 1960s”.

Now the job of building an arena for Bristol falls to Malaysian multi-national, YTL Developments, who own the Brabazon Hangar in Filton and claim it can be converted into a state of the art 15,000 seat arena. However, there are NO GUARANTEES that the company, chaired in the UK by notorious wheeler-dealer, Merchant Venturer and Tory donor, Colin “Tory Boy” Skellett, will ever deliver an arena.

The saga of Rees and the Temple Island arena has dragged on for nearly two and a half years ever since he was elected on a clear manifesto promise to “COMPLETE THE ARENA“.  Since that commitment in spring 2016, Rees has promised an arena at Temple Island on numerous occasions while persistently delaying the “shovel ready scheme” at every opportunity.

This was a project where the design had been COMPLETED; funding had been AGREED and allocated; full planning permission was IN PLACE; the contract to build the thing had been AWARDED; operators to run the place had been CHOSEN and they’d even built the bridge across to the island so that access to the site was easier for the builders.

Now it’s BACK TO SQUARE ONE for the project on a new site at Filton, under new management and reliant on massive public funding to create the transport links that will make this private sector-led project viable.

The Temple Island site, probably the MOST VALUABLE piece of development land in the UK outside London, has now been handed over to pension fund, Legal & General to develop a high-rise mixed use development. Although – so far – Rees has been UNABLE to produce any evidence of a tender or bidding process for this prize city asset. Instead Legal & General appear to have been handed our land on the nod from Rees. We will report further on this SCANDAL as it unfolds in the coming months.

For Rees, this decision may be end of the line for this UNDERPERFORMING FLOP of a mayor. Bristol Labour Party bosses and members are openly discussing deselection while the rest of the city not only wants rid of Rees but the WHOLE MAYORAL SYSTEM.

Will Rees’s legacy be the scrapping of the mayoral system in Bristol at the earliest opportunity? We think so.

“THE NIHILIST MOB” vs “FORENSIC JOURNALISM”

The Reverend’s own legal team inform him that Bristol City Council would only have “50:50” chance of winning a legal action if the current arena contractors for Temple Meads pursue Bristol City Council in the courts for abandoning the project.

The Bristolian, 1 September 2018

Due to the lack of information available, the experts said it must assume the council has a “50:50 chance of defending” a claim.

Evening Post, 7 September 2018

ARENA: LEGAL ADVICE BOMBSHELL

A friend of The BRISTOLIAN, who has had sight of the highly CONFIDENTIAL legal advice produced by Bristol City Council for the mayor regarding Tuesday’s arena decision, has been in touch.

This legal advice, which has only been made available to the MAYOR, his supine LABOUR CABINET and a small group of councillors on the Overview and Scrutiny Management Commission, has been kept well away from us plebs.

And for good reason. The Reverend’s own legal team inform him that Bristol City Council would only have “50:50” chance of winning a legal action if the current arena contractors for Temple Meads pursue Bristol City Council in the courts for abandoning the project.

The likely financial risk to the council is in in the TENS OF MILLIONS the report says.  Further advice clearly says that the council should engage with the Temple Meads contractors to seek to reduce the RISK OF LEGAL ACTION before publicly announcing any decision not to proceed with the arena.

Will we get another fudged decision from the Reverend on Tuesday or will he brazenly embark on a course of action helpful to his new Malaysian corporate friends likely to cost us tens of millions in the courts?

LABOUR NEWS

All hail the great Labour leader

 Bristol’s Labour Party under the deft (surely daft? Ed.) leadership of the Reverend Rees continues on its singular journey to becoming an embarrassing farce and danger to its own members.

We learn that the Bristol Labour Women’s Forum on Facebook has been FORCIBLY CLOSED down due to “transphobia”. Or women wishing to discuss the Gender Recognition Act and transgender issues as it’s also known.

Presumably, in the world of Rees’s Labour it’s best all round if women are SHUT UP and CENSORED? This follows the CLOSURE of Bristol Labour Party’s private forum on Facebook in March after Bristol City Council bosses were granted access to the pages to SPY on staff and councillors.

Meanwhile, in a further extraordinary move, we learn that Ras Judah, the Rasta who was TASERED in the face by cops last year, has been suspended by the Labour Party for, er, racism!

All hail the peoples’ party!

LIFE THREATENING STUNTS BY OAPS NEEDED TO FUND SERVICES IN REES’S BRISTOL

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This year the Bristol Older People’s Forum (BOPF) will be celebrating their 25th anniversary. However, following a number of funding cuts by the Reverend’s council, the future of the forum is under DIRECT THREAT.

So please step forward 81 year old Tony Wilson, a Trustee of the forum, and retired Zia Haque, a member of the forum, who took part in a SKYDIVE in April from 15,000 feet. That’s the highest it’s possible to do in the UK without additional oxygen.

“This skydive is crucial to our survival,” explained Tony, “as BOPF moves away from Bristol City Council funding into an UNCERTAIN FUTURE. In these hard and changeable times Bristol Older People’s Forum is needed more than ever.”

The dive took place on Saturday April 14 at Sarum Airfield near Salisbury, with Tony and Zia raising over £2,000. This, we’re told, “would COVER MOST OF THE COSTS OF THE NEXT NEWSLETTER, which is currently mailed to over 3000 members, many of whom struggle with mobility issues and are not online”.

Meanwhile, the following month, the Reverend jetted out to New York City, yet again, to deliver a pointless speech to the UN about migration. Priorities, eh Marvin?

GOLDEN BOY JOY FOR USELESS ENERGY FIRM

Much fuss all round last month as the local BBC finally cottoned on to what we’ve been saying for over a year now and announced that the council’s vanity energy reselling firm, Bristol Energy, has now LOST £24MILLION with no end to the losses in sight!

The BBC even pointed out that the council’s so-called “INVESTMENT” in Bristol Energy jumped by 40 per cent in six months last year from £17million to £24million. But is it even an investment if you’re unlikely to get your money back?

Bristol City Council and Bristol Energy’s response to their loss-making disaster continues to be shrouded in “COMMERCIALLY CONFIDENTIAL” mystery. Although an UNKNOWN Bristol Energy spokesman assured the BBC that the money would be paid back “with interest”! How, we’re not told.

Meanwhile, behind the scenes, the city council director who set up the company, Bill “Dick” Edrich, has been quietly OUSTED as a director of Bristol Energy and replaced with the Reverend’s new golden boy, Colin “HEAD BOY” Molton of the Colin Molton Consultancy Ltd.

Head Boy, currently the very well remunerated interim Executive Director of Growth and Regeneration at the council, is the latest CHANCER to have the ear of the Reverend. He comes from a senior post at the Homes and Community Agency (HCA) and it appears he is being paid a SMALL FORTUNE in the region of £5k a week by the Reverend to get some housing developments moving in Bristol prior to the next mayoral election.

But what exactly does he know about the energy reselling business?

COCKTAIL PARTY JOY

COCKTAIL PARTY JOY

FACTS and FIGURES come crashing into the inbox regarding the Reverend’s recent trip to Cannes to attend the MIPIM property conference. A sort of working holiday on the Côte d’Azur where gullible local authority types can get mugged for their land by property speculators.

THREE ‘delegates’ from Bristol City Council went. The Reverend and his two current sidekicks, PR man Kevin “Don’t Mention the Private Education” Slocombe and Colin “Head Boy” Molton. Although we’re told that the Reverend’s Cabinet member for Spatial Planning and City Design Nicola “LA LA” Beech went along paid for by her employer.

And the cost of this three-day jaunt to you, dear council tax payer? A mere £9,950! Included in a busy itinerary for these selfless public servants were urgent events such as the ‘ARUP COCKTAIL PARTY‘, the ‘YTL  DEVELOPMENTS DINNER‘ and the ‘BOUYGUE – LINKCITY DINNER‘!

Tough gigs but, no doubt, someone’s got to spend £10k of our money doing it!

 

ST MARVIN’S-UP-THE-CREEK PARISH NEWS #15

Welcome my adoring flock and what a special month this is. A time for mass celebration as I’ve now been your vicar for two fantastic, high achieving years that have exceeded all expectations and smashed all targets. We have so much to celebrate as these two years have been a litany of high achievement with the prospect of much, much more to come.

But where do I start such a vibrant whole-parish inclusive celebration of diverse delivery? Perhaps by noting my exceptional background in church hall strategy leadership in America and religious health innovation in various small village settings across the UK, has delivered the aspiration of church hall transformation we have all been waiting for. The transformed church hall, funded through my new Church Media Fund, is set to open – our private sector partners assure me – as soon as congregation numbers and, therefore, potential church hall user numbers make the building financially viable. This may be as soon as five years, I’ve been assured. Hurrah!

Similarly, my new pay-as-https://flic.kr/p/25Mnrqmyou-go self service tea vending solution in the vestry is about to go live very soon indeed. Final software tests are being undertaken by our best

value consultant contractors from London prior to an experimental soft launch. Tea in the vestry will never have been so efficient. Hurrah! Then there was my 360 degree review of the Reverend Loose Canon Ferguson’s failed car parking strategy. Now families can attend St Marvin’s in a 4×4 diesel vehicle, happy in the knowledge they need only pay a small parking fee to access the church and financially support the parish’s wider aspirations. Hurrah!

And many of those same families are also secure within the St Marvin’s family knowing that thanks to my introduction of a small ‘Regular Worshipper Uplift Charge’ their children are safely on a best value, time efficient journey into the parish’s OFSTED rated ‘excellent’ St Snoot’s Academy. Hurrah!

I feel I should also mention the help and support from all three of the Parish Secretaries I’ve, so far, appointed on highly competitive rates. A big thank you to Mr Stephens from Birmingham, Ms Klonowski from London and, I’m sure you’re excited as me at my appointment of Mr Jackson from Weston-Super-Mare to head up the parish committee as we move into a more aggressive delivery phase. What a diverse and vibrant group of parish leaders we have here to celebrate. Hurrah!

A special mention too should be made regarding my regular all-expenses paid trips to the US to visit my fantastic friend and religious mentor who facilitates a refresh and renewal of my faith. As this mentor, the Texan psychotic preacher and notorious anti-communist homophobe, the Pastor Righteous Loon says, “an expensive trip to pray alongside me at my impressive luxury mansion with outdoor swimming, gym and sauna facilities is what the Lord desires”.

And on that positive note of positivity, let’s look forward to the next two years, which Mr Slocombe’s already designated ‘the years of delivery’. Aspirations such as an open church hall, a self-serve tea facility in the vestry and increased parking charges may soon become the new reality. Hurrah!

Here’s to another two years! Hurrah!

The Vicar

ARENA NEWS

Adepts at the art of reading runes, the philosophy of semiology or the mysteries of poetics and symbology may have noticed the Reverend’s recent PLAN put before his cabinet to “facilitate the necessary cycle lane works on Airport Road”.

So what? He’s building a cycle path on Airport Road in Hengrove? Big deal. But this is what catches the eye – “This proposal seeks approval to submit a Local Growth Fund (LGF) GRANT REALLOCATION request to the LEP”. So why might the Reverend be reallocating a grant and from where?

“Due to the fact that the coach parking scheme on ALBERT ROAD can no longer be completed within the originally agreed LGF funding window, this proposal seeks approval to reallocate £790k to the Airport Road scheme,” breezily explain the Reverend’s transport minions.

Of course, a coach parking scheme on Albert Road is an integral part of transport plans for the Arena at TEMPLE MEADS. If there’s no coach park planned then there’s no arena going ahead at Temple Meads.

So look out for that arena at Filton announcement coming soon and be sure to enjoy your cycling lane on Airport Road instead!

CLEAN AIR ZONE SPIN SCAM

Using that tried and tested scam of changing the name of something that’s hugely unpopular, back in 1971 the government changed the name of the Windscale nuclear power plant to Sellafield after a series of major safety scandals had shaken public faith in the safety of the plant.

Now, the Reverend Rees, not being one to pass up the chance of repeating a DAFT IDEA, has come up with his own name changing scam. Knowing full well anything called ‘CONGESTION CHARGE’ would unleash a torrent of unpopularity and be an instant kiss of electoral death, the Reverend in March unveiled some new options to improve air quality in the city – ‘Improving Public Health – A Clean Air Plan for Bristol’.

And – can you believe it? – four out of the five options on the table involve introducing an, er, CONGESTION CHARGE of some kind! The Reverend even wheeled out his youthful and rather dim Cabinet member for Energy, Waste and Regulatory Services Kye “The” Dudd to explain why this congestion charge wasn’t a congestion charge. “It’s to address a public health matter rather than a war on motorists,” blustered the tyro politician before CLAIMING this not-a-war-on-motorists congestion charge would save 300 lives a year.

Not entirely true as these 300 hundred deaths a year are not REAL deaths but STATISTICAL deaths calculated at a desk by consultants using complex equations. Indeed, The Dudd’s own consultants admit the deaths from this public health crisis are “UNCERTAIN” due to “RISK COEFFICIENTS“.

Statistically uncertain deaths in Bristol could therefore be as low as 101 per year or as high as 612. WHO KNOWS? Not the Dudd, that’s for sure, as he bandies around that figure of 300 deaths to unleash a congestion charge on unsuspecting Bristolians.

If the Dudd was serious about reducing pollution rather than raising revenue then he would, in fact, be leaving motorists alone and getting his middle class mates to ditch their poncy WOODBURNERS. According to the British Medical Journal these must-have heating systems for the well-heeled urban twat are producing over TWICE as many harmful emissions as road traffic!

But where’s the money and votes in targeting woodburners?