YE DAMNED CHRONICLES OF SCAMALOT, BOOK TEN
Verses 33-34: Attempts to bribe Guardians

xxxiii. In recent days, a most righteous pressure has been placed on evil Property Guardian Company CAMELOT to much belatedly conform to Environmental Health regulations at ye properties they lease from Bristol City Council. But woe! This hath only led to scandalous attempts by Scamalot to BRIBE Guardian-Tenants!

xxxiv. THE BRISTOLIAN can reveal that in order to avoid having to service another shower at one property under EH regulations, Scamalot offered £650 to a Guardian-Tenant in return for leaving ye property, callously stating that this person was “worth less than a shower”.

More verses of this woeful tale of wickedness shall be recounted in Ye Chronicles of Scamalot, Books Eleven to Twelve, run exclusively in THE BRISTOLIAN