Tag Archives: Green Party

A-B-C, IT’S EASY AS VOTE FOR ME

Another politician who changed his name to get ahead

Why has desperately ambitious Rob “Aardvark” TELFORD, the nice-but-dim former Green Councillor for Ashley, changed his name to Rob BRYHER? Could it have anything to with his desire to become a pompous bore councillor all over again?

At the local elections last year a lot of sitting Green councillors LOST OUT to Green colleagues standing for the same ward in multiple member wards under the new all-out election system. This was because their colleague appeared further up a ballot paper where candidates were listed ALPHABETICALLY.

The finest example of this was in the Bishopston and Ashley Down Ward where the former Green cabinet member and Red Trouser fan girl Dani “HELL” Radice demanded THREE RECOUNTS in attempt to unseat her own Green colleague Eleanor “Wombley” Combley who had beaten her by 10 votes.

Similarly our old friend Sir Gus Hoyty-Toyty, Green councillor for Ashley and council house sales enthusiast, LOST OUT to his alphabetically superior Green Colleague, Jude “Special” Brew, by less than 50 votes. Taking no chances, Special had already changed her surname from English to Brew prior to the election to get the best possible ballot paper position.

Can it be long before we find others joining Rob Aardvark in attempting to re-enter public life with Yellow Pages friendly names? Look out for Sir Gus 247Abba-Toyty and Daniele AAA1politician on a ballot form near you soon.

Charlie (Bolton) and the Chocolate Factory: THAT GREEN PARTY AFFORDABLE HOUSING POLICY IN FULL

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“So for a planning application to come forward – and it is not the first – with zero affordable housing is quite unacceptable. It goes against everything we believe in. It is quite simply an attack on the poorest in the city.”

Bristol Post 30 November 2016, Bristol Green Party Leader, CHARLIE BOLTON slamming news that the Chocolate Factory development at Greenbank by the Generator Group will have ZERO affordable housing

“Bristol South’s Dawn Primarolo, ward member CHARLIE BOLTON, Green party Parliamentary candidate Tony Dyer and the chair of BS3 Planning Group have all stated support.”

Bristol Post, 27 August 2014 reporting on the proposed 16-storey St Catherine’s Place development by Urbis in Bedminster with ZERO affordable housing.

STOP PRESS: The Green Party are putting forward a motion at tomorrow’s full council meeting demanding that developers deliver more affordable housing in the city! Apparently “we need strong leadership from our city leaders to call for change” (except from the Greens in the case of Urbis?)

ELECTORAL HOUSING BALLS

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Next up launching their mayoral election campaign … Step forward the Green Party. They even got their crackpot national leader, NUTTILY BENNETT, down for the occasion and their big promise is that they’re going to get private developers to build 8,000 HOMES by 2020 and 2,800 of these will be “affordable”, whatever the fuck that means this week.

So 35 PER CENT of homes built up to 2020 through some kind of unexplained city council/private sector partnership will be “affordable”. An ambitious target that the private sector has persistently FAILED to meet in Bristol and that they have little interest in meeting while they’re driven by a SHORT TERM PROFIT motive.

Quite why developers would suddenly start delivering these targets because the Green Party tell them to is anybodies’ guess. Especially when you consider that the local Greens’ favourite developer, URBIS, who have planning permission to build a tower block at St Catherine’s Place in Bedminster, are committed to delivering ZERO affordable or social housing there while waffling a lot about “sustainable housing”.

The other big question regarding this Green housing promise is where will they put all these homes? They are currently claiming they will build all of them on 91 HECTARES of city council land already identified in a council ‘Housing Land Prospectus‘ and that they will then “insist that MINIMUM DENSITY LEVELS are part of the deal for the future development of this land” according to Green mayoral candidate, Tony Dyer “Straits”.

However the council’s current plans for this land – mainly low quality OPEN SPACE on the outskirts of the city in the poorest areas – already proposes densities of over 70 people per hectare. While average density in Bristol is only 39 PEOPLE PER HECTARE.

The Greens’ proposals to pile 8,000 homes on to this land would therefore push densities up to around 250 – 300 PEOPLE PER HECTARE. An absurd level, way in excess of population densities in Horfield (54 people per hectare), Easton (92 pph) and Southville (49 pph) that the Greens have identified as desirable levels of population density.

The reality is that to deliver 8,000 homes in Bristol is going to take around 360 HECTARES of land, not the 90 currently on offer. This raises the question of where the Greens intend to build the rest of their homes?

However, not one to be outdone in the bullshit stakes, Labour’s Marvin “Luther” Rees is also promising to build 2,000 HOMES A YEAR by 2020. A similar amount to the Greens. Although he, also, has not identified the land he intends to build on.

The Bristolian’s advice is: watch out for your local green space. After May politicians might just want to give it away to their private developer friends …

GEORGE’S LEAFLET BELLYFLOP

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Hurrah! George’s first mayoral campaign leaflet has appeared on the streets.

No doubt it’s been really carefully thought through by his dodgy new spin doctor MATT “PAGE 3” Baker so it looks exactly like something from the Green Party?

“Do you want a career politician running Bristol taking orders from a party leader in London?” it asks.

Er, no we don’t Matt, you huge plonker. But neither do we want a career politician running Bristol taking orders from a BENT NEW LABOUR SPIN DOCTOR from Rochdale, thanks.

GREEN IDIOT WATCH

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Clueless, interfering councillor supports high rents in Bedminster and low rents in Redfield.

Decent homes for everyone, but not for Bedminster.

GORMLESS Green councillor, ROB “BEMMIE BOY” TELFORD, Sir Gus Hoyty-Toyty’s Ashley Ward mini-me, has been practising u-turns.

For some reason, back in March, Bemmie Boy took it upon himself to comment on the controversial proposed 15 storey high tower block development at ST KATHERINE’S PLACE at the top of East Street in Bedminster, some TWO MILES from his leafy ward.

“I think the scheme would have a detrimental effect on a lot of the local character, with surrounding trees blocked out from many vistas. The buildings are simply too high and block many other vistas,” pronounced the resident of, er, ST WERBURGHS in a formal letter about the application.

But not only is Bemmie Boy interfering in South Bristol where he’s not wanted, he can’t make up his mind up either. Five months later, just before the planning meeting, he wrote formally again: “Having MET WITH THE ARCHITECTS of this scheme and discussed some of the contentious issues surrounding it, I would like to withdraw my previous objection to this planning application,” he announced.

Why the architects were meeting with the councillor for Ashley to discuss a development miles away in Bedminster isn’t clear.

And neither is it clear why the Bemmie Boy’s Ashley Ward colleague SIR GUS HOYTY-TOYTY also waded into this SOUTH BRISTOL PLANNING ISSUE on the Bristol 24/7 news site with one of his semi-literate internet hissy fits aimed at local, south Bristol Lib Dems who are unhappy with this risible, though highly profitable, scheme that will deliver luxury flats and absolutely No AFFORDABLE HOUSING.

Why have this pair developed such a passionate interest in a multi-million pound property development on the other side of town all of a sudden?

Meanwhile Bemmie Boy, while promoting luxury private developments with high rents for the wealthy in Bedminster, is also fighting “to end rip-off tenancy fees and insecure renting”.
in EAST BRISTOL. Again, an area some two miles from his ward.

Bemmie Boy was spotted in July joining a protest in Redfield organised by the Easton based Association of Community Organisations for Reform Now (ACORN) against estate agent Holbrook Moran and their ripping off of private tenants.

We wonder whether Bemmie Boy informed his fellow protestors about his support for luxury
private developments in South Bristol?

HOYT’S HOUSING HYPOCRISY – UPDATE!

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The many faces of Bristol City Council housing supremo, Assistant Mayor Cllr Gus Hoyt – buying up your public housing stock at very reasonable prices since 2012!

It seems that The BRISTOLIAN‘s story about Assistant Mayor Gus Hoyt’s hypocrisy over people who live in ex-council houses – which we EXCLUSIVELY broke last week in issue #4.13 (OUT NOW at all good stockists!) has stung the Right Honourable Halfwit for Mueslibelt (East)…

After Bristol 24-7 got in touch with him for a follow-up piece, he had some sort of a fizzy-mouthed fit in which he came out with nonsense such as:

I regret that it is necessary to make [this statement] but the recent article in The Bristolian is full of innuendo and therefore has to be refuted.

Except, of course, it’s not ‘innuendo’ to state facts, and you can’t ‘refute’ facts by admitting them!

FACT ONE:

In September 2012 Gus Hoyt bought a family-sized flat from Bristol City Council.

FACT TWO:

Gus Hoyt paid cash for it – £186,500 with no mortgage.

FACT THREE:

Gus Hoyt does not deny either of the facts above. Because they are facts!

~~We look forward to seeing Augustus Bendy-Truth’s promised “public statement” sometime soon on the Bristol Green Party website…~~

Edited to add:

That Augustus Hoyt statement in full is now up (and definitely not hidden away on a dusty, forgotten part of the Bristol Greens’ website where even fewer people go than the ‘News’ page!)

SIR GUS TACKLES BRISTOL’S ENORMOUS ARTS HOLE

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MONDAY:

Finally saw George for our 10 o’clock at 11.30am when he finally arrived for work, apologising as he’d been up late with Zoe list-ticking again. They seem to have so many lists and so much to tick!

But at last I finally got to lay out to George the Bristol Green Party’s ideas for the new arena. He appeared very excited by our proposals for an all-wooden structure with a THATCHED ROOF POWERED BY WIND. Although he did have some reservations, such as what would happen when there’s no wind to power the amplifiers.

The solution is simple but brilliant. Top bands from around the world would simply have to do acoustic sets. What better way to put Bristol on the map than as the international home of the impromptu acoustic gig? “Imagine,” I said to George, “Take That with just Gary on piano, Robbie playing a bit of acoustic guitar and Jason, Mark and Howard doing the harmonies. That’s not something you see every day.”

“I guess not,” said George, who then went very quiet, overwhelmed by the groundbreaking consequences. He brightened up considerably when I pointed out that there were also some interesting sustainable employment spin-offs from our plan such as the potential for the reintroduction of the artisan craft of thatching to Britain with Bristol as its epicentre.

Before I left I also put in a special request from the younger members of the Green Party who really want to see the exciting folk-rock act Mumford & Sons do the honours at the grand opening of the arena. George, who is a big fan, was thrilled at the suggestion.

I know this is going to come as a big upset to some our older Bristol Green Party members who had been holding out for a reformed Lindisfarne to appear, but hey fellas! You got to move with the times.

It’s forward not back at George’s City Hall!!

TUESDAY:

A fantastic day. Green Party leader Natalie Bennett visited Bristol today to support our local election campaign. She was superb. OK, as a former Guardian journalist she might be prone to making embarrassing spelling errors (but who isn’t?) and utterly clueless about foreign policy, but she’ll happily sympathise for hours with whingeing school teachers and moaning social workers.

Natalie was especially keen to get our “total opposition to the cuts” message across and she dealt with any challenges supremely well. When asked why if we were totally opposed to cuts did we vote for them in Bristol she gave the questioner a FUNNY LITTLE SMILE and then rushed off to find a school teacher to moan at her. What a professional.

We all know how to say one thing at election time and do another at George’s City Hall!

WEDNESDAY:

Attended a ‘Keep Sundays Special’ Project Meeting at City Hall.

Exciting times seeing George’s plan to create a traffic-free environment on Sundays come to fruition thanks to a crack council officer team. We’re now at the detail and delivery phase and it’s great to see a proper ‘one council’ approach in action. Mr Mann the traffic boss has agreed to shut three roads at a cost of just £190,000, which is a great deal. Mr Holt, Head of Press and Marketing, knows a face painter and someone who knows someone who knows a unicyclist. George’s friend in Southville will make 100 yards of cloth bunting for us, and Mr Morris, the Markets Manager, says he’s got EIGHT ARTISAN CAKE STALLS lined up already – and even promised to personally come in every Sunday to collect the stall fees (cash only please!) himself. What commitment.

We’re still on the lookout for jugglers and Morris Dancers so give us a shout if you can help.

We love dancing with bells on our toes at George’s City Hall!

FRIDAY:

Back at work after yesterday’s special social media course (George’s idea) after that minor thing the other day when I was accidentally racist. And it worked! No major diplomatic incidents, plus Mr Holt taught me how to write ‘BOOBLESS’ on a calculator.

It’s a digital wonderland, George’s City Hall!