Category Archives: Avon & Somerset Constabulary

Our fine local police force

TRINITY ROAD COP SHOP – GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE

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The welcoming architecture of Trinity Road Police Station

Passing by the piles of rubble that were once Trinity Road police station in east Bristol the other day took me back to some nightmares of the 1980s. Opened in 1979, the station was built in with riot in mind or as one Bristolian described it: 

Is this the barracks of some continental-style gendarmerie, which takes to the streets only in armoured cars and with plenty of truncheons, riot shields and tear gas? Are we looking at the headquarters of some Soviet bloc secret police, with its interrogation rooms and execution cellars? No, this inscrutable, windowless, doorless, inward-turned building is the new Trinity Road Police Station, put up at the end of the 1970s for the greater convenience of our increasingly deskbound, paperwork-ridden policemen …or “police officers” as they like us to say now. Somehow this building is the perfect expression of modern policing, with its high-powered pursuit cars, speed cameras, shapeless bulky uniforms, hi-vis jackets and Heckler & Koch semi-automatic submachine guns.

In April 1980, Trinity was where the battered Avon and Somerset police officers retreated and regrouped after being chased out of St Pauls after their overpoliced and disastrous raid on the Black and White Café. Over the following years the station began to develop a dark reputation for weird, ritualised violence against those who ended up in its cells. 

In 1986 after the bombing of Libya by the US Airforce a mate of mine went out to graffiti against the escalation of what looked like a coming war. He was nicked in the Bear Pit and taken to Trinity where he was banged in a cell overnight. After refusing to give his finger prints (which had been a right in those days for minor offences) a bunch of cops came into the cell, grabbed him and began singing a song whilst an older, grey-haired officer used him as a punch bag.

The senior cop was no fool, never hitting him in the face but hitting his body ‘til it was black and blue. My mate still refused to give his prints, so they dragged him out using some keys to smash his finger nails as he desperately held on to the cell door frame. By this stage he had enough, gave his prints, was released without charge the next day, and staggered home.

You might say it was a one off? A few years later, one evening another mate who I played football with was walking back from the pub along Stapleton Road when he was kerb crawled by a police car. After refusing to stop, saying he was on his way home, the two cops grabbed him and in the scuffle that followed he kicked the car door shut. This was enough for them to nick him, and he was soon in a cell at Trinity. That night, once again a load of cops came in to the cell, held him and sang a song whilst a senior officer beat his body black and blue. He was released without charge the next day. 

The experiences of what happened to my mates soon got around. Many of us knew that Trinity was the last place you wanted to be taken if you were nicked. Far better to be in Bridewell, where at least there were senior cops who might not want beatings of prisoners (or worse) on their hands.

On Saturday 10 July 1994, Mark Harris a 31-year-old black man from Cardiff, was arrested for ‘suspected cheque book theft’ at 8.30pm and taken to Trinity Road police station. Three hours later he was found unconscious on the floor of his cell and rushed to the BRI where he was pronounced dead on arrival.

The results of a postmortem were not released to the public and a coroner’s inquest found an ‘open verdict’, meaning that jury confirmed the death is suspicious but could not find a cause. The suggestion was that Harris had hanged himself.

In 1995 there were protests outside Trinity Road led by Harris’s family, but like almost all deaths in police custody the killer cops were never brought to justice. I like to think that the only good thing to come out of the death of Harris is that it might have brought the ritualised beatings at Trinity Road police station to an end…but who knows?

So goodbye and good riddance to Trinity Road police station, and its dark history.

BIJAN EBRAHIMI, THE IPCC AND THE DISGRACED CHIEF CONSTABLE

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A warm glow of VIRTUE SIGNALLING embraces Bristol as the IPCC finally gets around to releasing their report on the Bijan Ebrahimi murder four years ago. Bijan was beaten to death and set alight by his neighbour in Broomhill, Lee James, in July 2013.

The brutal murder happened after police from Broadbury Road Police Station had IGNORED Iranian, Bijan’s, complaints of racism from his neighbours for over SEVEN YEARS. Police officers treating the life of a working class, disabled man on one of our estates with absolute contempt.

Who gives a fuck about Broomhill and the people who live there? That was the clear message from the city’s authorities in 2013, with the council and voluntary organisations also notable for a LACK OF EFFORT on behalf of Bijan when he needed them.

Police treatment of Bijan in the seven years leading up to his murder, concludes the IPCC’s Commissioner Jan Williams who fronted this remarkably slow and unincisive investigation into Avon & Somerset’s conduct, had ‘‘all the hallmarks of RACIAL BIAS‘.

While, apparently, not being actually racist, conveniently meaning nobody in the force is a racist who can be brought to book. A bizarre conclusion further borne out by Avon & Somerset’s misconduct hearings against 17 staff closely involved in the case, all of which concluded there was “NO EVIDENCE OF RACIAL DISCRIMINATION” by our police.

The sense of an empty virtue signalling public relations exercise being conducted by the IPCC and Avon & Somerset is further enhanced by the VAGUE and CONTENT-FREE statements from our establishment-friendly Chief Constable, Andy “Yes Man” Hayman and the bankrupt doughnut vendor turned Police and Crime Commissioner (PCC), Sue Mountstevens.

Jan Williams, IPCC

Yes Man has assured the Nazi Post “that the police moved quickly to look at what they did wrong, and have already implemented changes”. Although the detail of these “changes” is conveniently WITHELD from us. We do know, however, that the “changes” didn’t consist of the firing of up to 17 RACISTS operating with impunity out of Broadbury Road Police Station in 2013.

Mountstevens was similarly vague, assuring Nazi Post readers she was “confident there would not be a repeat” and claiming, “we have learned from this and the Chief Constable and I must ensure that a tragic event like this does not happen again.” Although, yet again, any detail or explanation as to why there won’t be a repeat is mysteriously LACKING from Mountstevens statement. So what has Mountstevens LEARNED? And what has Yes Man actually done to CHANGE anything?

Inexplicable “changes” accompanied by aimless virtue signalling and bland positive public relations messaging is in STARK CONTRAST to the actions of Avon & Somerset’s former Chief Constable, Nick Gargan. Gargan, a liberal reformer, was in charge of the force in 2013 at the time of the racist murder until he was effectively SACKED in 2015 by Mountstevens with the help of, er, IPCC Commissioner Jan Williams.

Leaving public relations considerations to the establishment wankers and second-rate careerists, Gargan immediately got stuck into the CORRUPT and RACIST culture of Broadbury Road Police Station in 2013. Thanks to his actions four officers at Broadbury Road were charged with misconduct in public office and two were convicted and finally imprisoned by 2016. All four were dismissed from the force.

Gargan also had a further TWELVE police officers – including sergeants and inspectors – lined up for disciplinary action by early 2014. Indeed, so keen was Gargan to discipline the RACISTS and SCUMBAGS in his force he formally complained to the IPCC’s Jan Williams regarding the ridiculous length of time her investigation was taking as it was delaying him from taking action against racists and incompetents.

Within months of this, Gargan was SUSPENDED and being INVESTIGATED by, er, the IPCC’s Jan Williams for  ‘inappropriate behaviour towards female officers and staff’. Sixteen months later after a thorough fishing expedition and witch hunt, Williams finally trumped up some charges for Gargan around a series of PETTY and UNRELATED allegations of sharing information with his partner by email and using his work mobile phone to send personal text messages.

These charges were put before an independent disciplinary panel that found that NONE of these actions had done any harm to the force and did not justify dismissal. Indeed, the disciplinary panel confined the majority of its criticisms to the conduct of the IPCC’s Jan Williams who didn’t seem to think she had a CONFLICT OF INTEREST in conducting an investigation into someone who had formerly complained about her USELESS and painfully SLOW investigation into a major racist incident.

Gargan was found guilty of eight counts of misconduct, none of which related to the original allegations against him and the independent disciplinary panel concluded he should be issued a WARNING LETTER. At this point the thuggish Police Federation and elements within Avon and Somerset – and across policing generally – who hated Gargan’s efforts to modernise his force stepped in demanding Gargan had to go.

Nick Gargan

He was eventually FORCED OUT when our piss-weak Police and Crime Commissioner, bankrupt doughnut vendor Sue Mountstevens, sided with the old school police reactionaries and withdrew her confidence in Gargan.

With the departure of Gargan, the Ebrahimi investigation was toned down and slowed down further and the BROADBURY ROAD TWELVE Gargan had identified for the chop were LET OFF after Avon & Somerset’s disciplinary panel concluded at internal misconduct hearings that there was “no evidence of racial discrimination”! Instead Avon & Somerset officially announced a “range of outcomes” from these disciplinaries, including two officers receiving final written warnings. That’s shown the racists!

Now, a further two years later, up pops the RANCID and INCOMPETENT IPCC Commissioner Jan Williams with her empty-headed report and PR effort and we’re suddenly assured that everything at Avon & Somerset is absolutely fine now due to a series of INEXPLICABLE and CONFIDENTIAL culture changes within the force.  Meanwhile senior Avon & Somerset officers are now on the BBC rambling about “unconscious racism”. What can it all mean?

The cover-up is strong in this one …

Told you so … READ THE BRISTOLIAN’S EXPOSE OF THE IPCC, JAN WILLIAMS AND NICK GARGAN FROM 2015.

WHITE RIOT

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AntifaSprayerOn Saturday 24 October bemused Bristolians looked on in bewilderment as pitched battles were fought in the centre of Bristol. Anti-Fascists and their comrades were confronting British United Patriots, who were marching against youth homelessness, apparently.

Different gangs trotted about the city centre, trying to get their hands on the other side, while the Old Bill plodded about in close attendance. While we at the Bristolian have no time for fascist or right wing philosophy, we are also aware that there’s some similarities in the backgrounds of the belligerents.

Both sides are clear that the system does not work for the working class. Poverty is rampant and growing in these times of austerity. The welfare state is being dismantled and the rich are getting richer. In the meantime, the government, the bosses and the ruling class are telling us it’s all the fault of pesky immigrants, the sick and, of course, benefit scroungers.

This is where the two sides diverge. The right wing buy this and believe it. They can see the refugees and new arrivals to this country and blame them. Meanwhile the rich in their Bentleys and private jets don’t come anywhere near Knowle, Southmead or Kingswood. Neither exist to each other.

Take Sir Phillip Green who owns Topshop and British Home Stores among others. He also sits on the treasury select committee on tax evasion. You couldn’t make it up. He’s one of the biggest tax avoiders going. He’s said to have put £1.2 billion through his missus’s bank account. How many fucking giros does that add up to?

Most of these “proud to be British, buy British” multi-millionaires are up to a bit of tax avoidance while we scrabble about, white, black, British or foreign born, for dwindling resources, and jobs.

OK, we might do a bit of cash in hand work or buy some cheap baccy but this shrinks into insignificance in relation to what they have away. They can employ armies of accountants to help them squirrel away their cash. If you get caught it will be benefit sanctions, bailiffs and prison. But you all know this.

In the meantime, two sides of the white working class beat the crap out of each other on a Saturday afternoon. The Old Bill nick them while the ruling classes laugh their fucking heads off. Then court and heavy fine and the Old Bill can buy some more nice tasers to ensure that the system continues.

Shape up boys, who is the real enemy???

TOP COP STITCHED-UP?

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garagn

News that Avon & Somerset’s top cop Nick Gargan was found guilty of EIGHT minor charges of misconduct and was furnished with EIGHT final warning letters has got a bizarre coalition of Police Federation wankers, former chief constable wankers (yes, that’s you Colin port) and local politician wankers demanding his head on a plate.

A similar coalition led by fat twat Liberal Democrat, Gary Hopkins – notorious for his over-friendly relations with BROADBURY ROAD POLICE STATION – are  also behind attacks on Avon & Somerset’s Police and Crime Commissioner Sue Mountstevens. They are blaming her for wasting £0.5m suspending Gargan on full pay for over a year while investigating his conduct.

Gutbucket is now promising a full investigation by his committee of old farts at the POLICE AND CRIME PANEL. He says they’re going to “scrutinise the Police and Crime commissioner” due to “serious concerns” especially around Gargan’s “recruitment and what happened prior to his suspension”.

Which makes you wonder if the useless fat bastard and his gang of dodgy old coppers have bothered to actually read the Misconduct Panel report into Gargan’s misdemeanours?

This report does agree that forwarding confidential work emails to one of your many squeezes – local BBC journalist LAURA JONES – and assisting various other attractive women with their applications for senior posts with Avon & Somerset Police is probably the height of stupidity for a public servant on a six-figure salary employed for their absolute integrity. It also concludes GARGAN’s conduct is worthy of disciplinary action.

However, it seems, the wider story concerning this fiasco is being buried amid huge amounts of bluster from an establishment gang of old white men committed to scoring political points against a female PCC and who want to maintain an old school cop culture of RACIST POLICING and ENDEMIC CORRUPTION  at Avon & Somerset. A culture Gargan had been committed to removing.

Indeed, if you read the Misconduct Panel report into Gargan, they don’t seem much bothered by his minor misdemeanours and they don’t identify anything Mountstevens has done wrong at all.

In May 2014 Mountstevens received allegations regarding Gargan’s conduct around women from TWO WHISTLEBLOWERS. Mountstevens suspended Gargan and then passed the case to the IPCC to investigate, as she’s legally required to do.

The report makes clear that responsibility for most decisions regarding Gargan then passed to Avon & Somerset’s IPCC commissioner, JAN WILLIAMS. An inexperienced and incompetent health service manager who had already fucked up and delayed an IPCC investigation into the death of BIJAN EBRAHIMI.

Ebrahimi was the Iranian asylum seeker BEATEN AND THEN BURNED TO DEATH in a horrific attack in 2013 in Broomhill under the noses of coppers from BROADBURY ROAD POLICE STATION. An episode that resulted in the suspension of TWELVE police staff and the prosecution of THREE under Gargan’s leadership.

The EBRAHIMI INVESTIGATION was crucial to Gargan and his efforts to modernise the Avon & Somerset Constabulary and sweep away what we can politely and lawfully refer to as his force’s “old fashioned practices”. In this context, the report by Gargan’s Misconduct Panel is extremely enlightening as it spends far more time discussing the conduct of the IPCC than Gargan’s minor transgressions.

It was Williams at the IPCC who, having discovered within two months that the allegations regarding sexual harassment against Gargan were baseless, embarked on a FISHING EXPEDITION of his iPhone. It was this investigation that formed the slim basis of the disciplinary action eventually taken against Gargan.

It was Williams at the IPCC who WITHHELD from Mountstevens’ office for months the fact she had obtained no admissible evidence from any female witnesses in support of the original hearsay harassment allegations against Gargan.

It was Williams at the IPCC that MISLED Mountstevens throughout the summer of 2014, in order to keep Gargan suspended, that there was a likelihood of a criminal prosecution being brought against him under the Data Protection Act.

It was Williams at the IPCC who consistently REFUSED to lift Gargan’s suspension and therefore used our council tax to pay him to sit at home.

It was Williams at the IPCC who continually FRUSTRATED disclosure of evidence to Gargan between 2 February and 27 May 2015 and therefore DELAYED Gargan’s Misconduct Panel hearing by months.

It was Williams at the IPCC who FAILED “to comply with its disclosure obligations all the way to the Misconduct Panel’s door”.

It was Williams at the IPCC who under cross-examination COULDN’T EXPLAIN what the term “evidence” means.

It was Williams at the IPCC, according to the Misconduct Panel, whose understanding of the concept of ‘relevance’ was, until 24 April 2015, ‘CONCERNING’.

It was Williams at the IPCC who was described as “ALMOST INCOHERENT” when giving evidence to the independent Misconduct Panel.

It was Williams at the IPCC whose submissions were described by the Misconduct Panel as “A LITTLE UNREAL”.

It was Williams at the IPCC who supplied a spreadsheet redacted “BEYOND COMPREHENSION” to the Misconduct Panel.

It was Williams at the IPCC who continually promised Mountstevens a ‘HARD HITTING’ report into Gargan despite knowing full well that her investigation had unearthed NO ADMISSIBLE EVIDENCE in relation to the original harassment allegations while the data protection breaches she uncovered did not merit criminal proceedings.

By the end of June 2014, when the investigation into the original harassment allegations had unearthed no admissible evidence, Mountstevens’ CEO Jonathan Smith had started action to prepare for Gargan’s return to work.

This was PERSONALLY STOPPED by Williams at the IPCC who had by then embarked on her iPhone fishing expedition against Gargan. The very same man who had complained about her conduct of another IPCC investigation into the death of – who else? – BIJAN EBRAHIMI!

And it was Williams who then had to have the simple concept of “CONFLICT OF INTEREST” explained to her by a lawyer when she gave evidence to the Misconduct panel.

Meanwhile, the Misconduct Panel’s report contains NO CRITICISM of Sue Mountstevens and treats the soppy list of minor allegations against Gargan as lightly as they deserve.

The whole investigation into Gargan has, therefore, more than a passing resemblance to a STITCH-UP by VESTED INTERESTS and OLD SCHOOL COPPERS desperate to get rid of a modernising influence on our police.

The IPCC’s got a lot of questions to answer here and JAN WILLIAMS’ position seems untenable. Does anyone believe this useless, dodgy bureaucrat is capable of independent oversight of our dubious police force after this?

And will Gary Hopkins’ and his political Police and Crime Panel be doing an investigation into the conduct of their IPCC Commissioner rather than pursuing a pointless and very public witch hunt for their own DIRTY POLITICAL REASONS against Mountstevens?

Don’t hold your breath.

Inspector Knacker’s COP WATCH

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Sweeney

We were amazed to read recent reports from the cops that due to funding cuts victims are now expected to INVESTIGATE CRIMES THEMSELVES. Including, we’re told, crimes like burglary and criminal damage.

Rumours of speedily constructed gallows in various parts of the city have yet to be confirmed.  Although, here at The BRISTOLIAN  we would be amazed if burglaries aren’t investigated in CLIFTON or WESTBURY ON TRYM before we all start getting our balaclavas and gloves out.

But this has been the case for many years in some areas of Bristol. Try getting police support in HARTCLIFFE, EASTON or ST PAULS.  Give plod a ring because someone has torched your mini and see what happens: nothing normally.

This reminds us of an old story.  A young single mum living in the INNER CITY phoned the police after hearing and spotting someone in her back garden. She was promised support within ten minutes.

When it failed to arrive she rang again. She explained she was on her own in her house with two small children. More worrying, the intruder had got it into the shed where the tools were. She was given further assurances …

Another ten minutes with no sign of plod, she rings back to say, “don’t bother, I’ve SHOT HIM”.
Lo and Behold! Within two minutes an ARMED RESPONSE unit arrives!

They questioned her for several hours before departing. Needless to say, they had lost all interest in the theft from the shed.

We’ve also heard this week on national news that due to cuts the constabulary are struggling to police more SERIOUS CRIMES.  This includes having enough trained officers to investigate CHILD SEX INTERNET CRIMES and FRAUD.  Both are extremely serious and we we’d wager that the vast majority of Bristolian readers would identify the detection and arrest of NONCES as a primary objective of police forces.

However, we hear Avon and Somerset’s finest have been out serving warrants on some internet users.  Paedophiles? Major fraudsters?  Robbing Bankers?  ‘Fraid not. Just the email account of a, er … local RADICAL BOOK SHOP!

So while there’s a deficit of trained cops to tackle perverts, in Bristol they’re busy seizing and searching old BOOK ORDERS, STAFFING LISTS and lists of MAIL ORDER ADDRESSES!

No doubt identifying “POLITICAL RADICALS” and other undesirables who read books. Fuck me, I’ll feel safer sleeping in my bed tonight!!!

The BRISTOLIAN has its eyes peeled and continues to investigate FRAUD and CORRUPTION among Bristol’s high and mighty.  We’ll then hand details to the Old Bill, and see what they do.

If you know anything, drop us a line and we’ll chase it. Lets turn their austerity measures around.

MS X: NOW THE COPPERS SAY “REHOUSE HER”!

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Web ExclusiveNow joining The BRISTOLIAN and the sensible public at large in demanding the immediate rehousing of vulnerable domestic violence victim – Ms X – is the Avon & Somerset Constabulary.

We understand that police have this week spoken with Bristol City Council’s Housing Department and told them Ms X needs to be urgently relocated for her own safety.

It now seems like everybody, except those with the power to help, want Ms X rehoused as a matter of urgency. Indeed it’s beginning to look like Ms X is now being used as little more than a prop to shore up their fragile egos by Housing Department middle managers Paul Sylvester and Nick Hooper. They are refusing to admit, in the face of a barrage of evidence, that they have made errors and they are refusing to acknowledge the real danger Ms X is in.

Instead, in an effort to prove they are right at any cost, they have resorted to fluent bureaucratese insisting she is ‘Band 3’ and there’s no more they can do. This is bullshit. They could rehouse her tomorrow. They do it all the time. Why won’t they do it now?

The BRISTOLIAN continues to receive outraged emails from councillors on this matter, with some that are especially critical of Housing boss Hooper. The only people now actively supporting Sylvester and Hooper in their fool’s errand of refusing to rehouse Ms X is Zoe Sear, “right hand woman” of Mayor George Ferguson (Happy Anniversary!), and the mysterious, unnamed ‘Safer Bristol Domestic Violence Co-ordinator’ who apparently insists Sylvester and Hooper are acting correctly by doing absolutely nothing and leaving a vulnerable young woman in danger of her life.

Sylvester and Hooper have ignored a death threat; they’ve ignored a ‘substantial threat’; now will they ignore police advice too?

BRISTOL MAYOR’S AIDE ZOE SEAR – VICTIM BLAMER, ABUSE ENABLER…

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Zoe Sear: sticking the boot into domestic violence survivors on behalf of Mayor George Ferguson

Zoe Sear: sticking the boot into domestic violence survivors on behalf of Mayor George Ferguson

Web ExclusiveSo step forward ZOE SEAR, Mayor Fergo’s “right hand woman” paid nearly a thousand quid a week for her problem-solving abilities. Obviously a working class Bristolian like Ms X who has been repeatedly battered black and blue is not the concern of a Very Important millionaire like George Redtrousers, so when this shitstorm erupted in public, it was passed to his smiling consigliere Sear to deal with.

After initially making lots of sympathetic noises, Sear is now conspiring with incompetent housing chiefs Hooper and Sylvester to COVER UP their mistakes – and blame Ms X for her situation.

Sear has attempted to use an appointment scheduling error by a support agency which meant that Ms X could not attend one meeting because she was at another one as a stick to beat the victim with – and FORCE her into taking a place in a refuge against her wishes. That is the same offer that Ms X explained that she couldn’t accept THREE MONTHS AGO. Sear and her housing department chums are now using the threat of withdrawing all support as a way of SILENCING a vulnerable victim.

As Sear contemptuously said to Ms X’s advocate, “I don’t have a magic wand – what do you want me to do? Take her home with me?”

No, Zoe – we simply want you, your boss and your council to do the right thing – by appropriately rehousing this woman and her child. BEFORE either of them is harmed.

A CLEAR & PRESENT DANGER: BRISTOL CITY COUNCIL ABANDONS VULNERABLE BATTERED WOMAN

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Web ExclusiveDespite its LEGAL OBLIGATIONS to immediately rehouse her, Bristol City Council is FAILING to place a vulnerable victim of ongoing brutal domestic violence into safety, according to information passed to The BRISTOLIAN.

The woman in question – whom we choose to identify only as ‘Ms X’ – has been targeted by a predatory sexual sadist over an extended period of time, and has reached out for help from a number of agencies.

Yet in a harrowing tale of municipal hand-wringing, thanks to a combination of INDIFFERENT POLITICAL HACKS and LAZY SENIOR OFFICERS, and despite her acute need to be rehoused away from her abuser, she remains trapped and at the mercy of a very dangerous man.

Credible information leads The BRISTOLIAN to believe that unless Ms X receives the rehousing support to which she is legally and morally entitled within days she is in real danger of serious harm.

And what can be done?

Well, the politicians and council officers who have already been made aware of the precise circumstances facing Ms X could pull their fingers out of their arseholes and (i) acknowledge the detailed information sent to them about this matter; and (ii) ACTUALLY REHOUSE MS X. Not when she’s in hospital – or worse – but NOW.

Of course, given their failure to take seriously either this particularly grim individual situation, or the wider issues of domestic abuse, we have decided to start NAMING AND SHAMING those who were told about the case of Ms X – but who have DONE NOTHING – starting with the overpaid men at the top…

So get calling, get tweeting and get emailing to demand that they DO THEIR JOBS!

Don’t let them sit on their hands until Ms X becomes that most unfortunate statistic of all.

* If within 24 hours of this post we don’t hear that practical steps have been taken to help Ms X, we reserve the right to leverage these – and other – complacent decision-makers even further.
** We are not naïve and realise that Ms X is not the only person at risk from domestic violence who is being failed by Bristol’s authorities. If you or someone you know is in a similar position as Ms X, and no one else can help, get in touch and we will see if there is anything we can do.

BRISTOL TOP COP GARGAN GETS THE FEAR OVER INTERNET PROFILE PIC!

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Durston Fletcher - no powers of arrest

Durston Fletcher – no powers of arrest

Are Avon & Somerset TOP COP Nick ‘Hurdy-Gurdy’ Gargan’s well-documented weekend trips to Glastonbury to wear his love like heaven and mellow out on the Tor to ponder, like, the sheer enormity of it all, man, impeding his professional judgement? Or did he ingest something other than an extra strong herbal tea infusion during his last visit, at the peak of the MAGIC MUSHROOM SEASON, to deepest Somerset’s hippy haven?

Coming up with the kind of deranged paranoid nonsense that only takes shape at two in the morning over a bowl of dry Rice Krispies and the LAST OF THE CUSTARD CREAMS, The Hurdy Gurdy Man issued urgent instructions one Monday morning, immediately after one of his Isle of Avalon trips, that the presenter of hit radio show ‘From Bristol With Love’ Durston Fletcher must remove his Twitter and Facebook avatar immediately as it “could be deemed to be impersonating a police officer”!

The avatar in question is a picture of The Bill’s Reg Hollis as played by actor Jeff Stewart and so far, unsurprisingly, nobody outside of Hurdy Gurdy Gargan and his elite team of top TIE-DYED DETECTIVES has yet managed to confuse Durston with an actual copper.

However, to help out our confused top cop and the rest of his disoriented crew of addled Old Bill, Durston has now installed a new special message on his avatar: ‘I am not a copper’ it helpfully explains.

Hopefully this will clear matters up enough for the Avon & Somerset to continue with their duties and for Hurdy Gurdy Gargan to concentrate on realigning his chakras.

BRISTOLIAN GALLERY: ‘LOCAL TAXI DRIVER’ BY DURSTON FLETCHER

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‘Local Taxi Driver’

Councillor Gary Hopkins, ink, 2013, Durston Fletcher

Councillor Gary Hopkins, ink, 2013, Durston Fletcher

Our artistic odyssey continues, with Popular Local Radio DJ (it says here) From Bristol With Love‘s very own Durston Fletcher submitting this bold entry into our Best Gary Hopkins Portrait Meat Raffle competition.

Durston has been very busy of late thanks to a burgeoning feud between him and Bristol & Bumpkinshire Chief Constable Nick Gargan (see The BRISTOLIAN #4.7, out this week!), so big BRISTOLIAN thanks to him for taking time out of his busy arch-nemesissing schedule to make beautiful images for us.