Tag Archives: Church of England

THE REVEREND REVEREND REES?

The Reverend Rees is to become, er, the Reverend Rees. The BRISTOLIAN can exclusively reveal that Bristol mayor Marvin Rees is currently studying divinity part-time with a view to becoming an ordained Church of England priest at the end of his tenure as elected mayor of Bristol.

The Reverend is currently studying divinity with the Cambridge Theological Federation on a three year part time course. Prior to this, we’re told, Marvin held “lengthy and complex discussions” with Mike Hill, the Bishop of Bristol, “exploring his faith and how he could best serve God and the people of Bristol going forward”.

It’s well known that Marvin tries to only work four days a week for “work life balance” reasons, allegedly to spend time with his young family. However sources tell us that this is actually time set aside for his serious religious studies. He has also been studying during evenings and weekends.

Our source says that when Marvin finishes as mayor he will be seeking a parish in inner city Bristol to serve. Easton has been mentioned, as has the higher profile St Mary Redcliffe – adjacent to the high performing secondary school …

FAKE HISTORY BISHOP QUITS

Bishop Mike the Mercenary

Bristol’s slave trade apologist Church of England chief vicar is finally throwing in the towel. Cambridge educated Bishop Mike “THE MERCENARY” Hill will finally retire in September.

Mike the Mercenary became engulfed in controversy in 2014 when he was recorded LYING to a congregation of schoolchildren. During a private ‘Charter Day’ celebration of EDWARD COLSTON at Bristol Cathedral, Hill told the children that Colston had “lived a life of significance” and there “may be still some speculation on some of the circumstances around his business roots”.

This is, of course, a load of bollocks and FAKE HISTORY. There is no speculation about Colston’s role as a major 18TH CENTURY SLAVE TRADER nor in his role running the Royal Africa Company, which had a monopoly on the Atlantic slave trade during much of his tenure.

Between 1672 and 1689, Colston’s company transported around 100,000 enslaved Africans to the West Indies and America. This included children as young as six. Each slave BRANDED with the company’s initials, RAC, on their chest.

To maximise profit, Colston’s ships divided their hulls into holds with little headroom so they could transport as many slaves as possible. Unhygienic conditions, dehydration, dysentery and scurvy KILLED MORE THAN 20,000 enslaved Africans during the crossings. Their bodies were thrown overboard. None of this is speculation.

Hill attempted to brush Colston’s slave trading under the carpet during a private ceremony at Bristol Cathedral. The venue – along with a useful idiot senior Church of England Vicar – is hired by the city’s super-rich Society of Merchant Venturers every year to promote their FAKE NEWS version of their hero Edward Colston to school children attending Venturer funded schools.

Anyone wishing to throw a bucket of piss or rotten tomatoes over this old establishment racist, liar and fraud should note his last service will take place at Bristol Cathedral on 23 September at 3.30pm.