Tag Archives: WACAP

JUNKET GEORGE DOES EUROPE

Bristol Mayor takes taxpayer-funded jaunts to Dublin and Cannes to help cultivate sense of self-importance

The Mayor sends his regards

With £35m of unachievable cuts randomly delivered across council budgets, now MAYOR GORGEOUS can get on with the more serious aspects of his role … Like enjoying jolly ‘junket’ outings abroad at our expense.

The year’s first freebie trip overseas for George came in February when he spent a couple of days in Dublin at the ‘World Alliance of Cities Against Poverty’. A stop-off on the INTERNATIONAL POVERTY INDUSTRY grand tour, the event was themed around technology and cities, and attracted mostly faceless EU and UN bureaucrats with fat expense accounts and plenty of time on their hands.

Gushing publicity offered lucky attendees the opportunity “to marry practical experience to blue sky thinking” and hear words of wisdom spouted by self-important bigwigs from the Big Four accountancy firms. They, of course, are famed for their robust approach to preventing poverty by, erm, creating it on a grand scale across the entire western world by signing off dodgy bank balance sheets just prior to their collapse into bankruptcy and creating the need for mass public bailouts.

See the pattern here? Those that have caused mass poverty are now selling solutions to it back to governments. Other speakers included the aptly named Patricia Bastard of Yellow Window Design Consultants and the Queen of the international poverty scene, former Irish premier Mary ‘Antoinette’ Robinson.

But this was a mere warm-up for the main event that Junket George attended a few weeks later: the MIPIM PROPERTY CONFERENCE in Cannes, delightfully situated on the Côte d’Azur. And what was this conference all about? Public relations people will try to tell you “MIPIM provides a unique opportunity for industry decision-makers to meet, develop long-term relationships and showcase their latest development projects.”

However, a more honest appraisal is available from Clare Barrett, managing editor of Property Week magazine, who helpfully explains, “It’s basically a FOUR-DAY PARTY WITH LOADS OF LOBSTER AND CHAMPAGNE ON YACHTS.”

When now-disbanded quango the South West Regional Development Agency attended this piss-up a few years ago, they managed to run up a £61k bill for running a press conference and two cheese and wine parties. But it is suspected that George and the large entourage he assembled for this must-go event managed to smash that pre-austerity record with a WHOPPING £100K+ TAB. George even forked out for his glamorous assistant Zoe to attend and to provide him with her late night ‘list-ticking’ services, as well as dragging along a local artist to flaunt – just to show people how wacky he is.

No doubt Cannes echoed to the question, “Qui le fuck est la poshe idiote Anglais avec les pantalons rouges”?

NEW BRISTOLIAN OUT NOW!

Bristolian #2 - NOW OUT!

Ahoy there, shipmates – the latest issue of Bristol’s finest muckraking newspaper is now being distributed across the city as we speak!

This edition is packed full of exposés of the overpaid mediocrities running our fair town, with the focus on ‘hands-on but light touch’ MILLIONAIRE MAYOR George Ferguson and his scuttling around overseas at our expenses cooking up development deals with his old business cronies.

There’s also the scoop that Bristol City Council has brought in KILLER COMPANY ATOS – notorious for throwing disabled people off benefits – to manage its workers’ occupational health; a report on shady Facilities Management accounting and MISSING MARKETS MONEY; and news that senior officers don’t know how much of our money they’re spending on CUTS CONSULTANTS.

Throw in a round-up of how UNION BUREAUCATS are betraying ordinary Bristolians, a look at some of the candidates in the upcoming council elections, the story of the POSH NIMBY who tried to shut down a popular pub, and of course the latest entries from SIR GUS HOYTY-TOYTY’S CABINET DIARY, and you have yourself a super, soaraway scandal sheet!

Currently available from:

In addition there are copies around St. Nick’s Market, with St. Paul’s, Bedminster, Windmill Hill, Totterdown, Southville and Kingswood all being covered today or in the next few days. Precise locations will be added as they are confirmed.

More outlets will be added to the distribution list as they are confirmed, and further drop-offs can also be arranged – just get in touch.

++ STOP PRESS ++ STOP PRESS ++ STOP PRESS ++ STOP PRESS ++

Our street team reports back that this edition of The BRISTOLIAN has flown out of their hands so quickly just one day in that they’ve completely run out!

To satisfy the city-wide hunger for real news you can trust, we’ve put ordered a reprint, which will be ready for us to hit Hartcliffe, Knowle West, Sea Mills, Cotham, Hotwells – and other areas not yet covered – next week.

In the meantime, if you can’t wait to get your hands on a paper copy – or your local stockist has already run dry – download a digital version here.

PS:

This issue of The BRISTOLIAN was sent to the printers at 4am on Monday. At 11.28am Margaret Thatcher was found dead whilst “reading in bed”.

Coincidence? You decide.