Tag Archives: 2014

NETTING ZEROES: GEORGIAN MARV

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Netting Zeroes

Remember when Mayor No More Ferguson flew to New York City in 2014 to deliver a speech via satellite link to gormless local climate protestors sat on College Green? The Bristolian got in lots of trouble at the time for calling out the marching morons of Bristol who went along with this farce.

Well, anything George can do the Reverend can do better. Because back in April the Reverend took a 9,000 mile business class round trip by plane to Vancouver to deliver a 14 minute lecture on, er, climate change! A lecture people in Bristol weren’t even able to hear until over a month later when the tedious lecture was finally uploaded for free to the internet.

This ridiculous little escapade created two tons of carbon dioxide per plane passenger. About the same amount of carbon dioxide that an average car would generate if driven for 7,000 miles. Rees later explained to the Nazi Post that the trip was worthwhile because he was shaping global thinking with, er, internet celeb Elon Musk!

When will it dawn on people that the best way to sort out the climate would be to put the vain, self-serving hypocrites of the political class against the wall?

TOWN HALL FAT CATS ATTEMPT WAGE HEIST

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pigs-feeding-at-trough

Service directors take lunch

A council pay policy report talking up the living wage and shoved in front of councillors on the Human Resources Committee last month claimed that the council’s new SENIOR MANAGEMENT PAY POLICY, apparently conjured out of thin air, is that the salary of Strategic Directors will be 85% of the City Director’s salary of, allegedly, £160k.

What this means, then, is that the council’s four strategic directors, struggling along on just £130k a year at present should get a tasty little £6K PAY RISE to £136k a year! … So much for austerity and cuts at the council …

That’s a 4.6 PER CENT pay demand from the bosses then. Meanwhile, the little people who actually do all the fucking work will be lucky to see a one per cent pay rise this year. Not that their bosses, busy FEATHERING THEIR OWN NESTS, have tried to get them any kind of pay rise at all.

Also joining in with this latest FAT CAT PAY BONANZA at the Counts Louse were 19 Service Directors. In their case, councillors are instructed to up the pay of this well paid shower of twerps “IN LINE WITH THE MARKET RATE“.

The “market rate” being £94,601, up from £90,989. That’s a cool FOUR PER CENT wage demand from them then. Apparently demanded – with a straight face – while these service directors personally take an AXE to public services in the name of austerity.

Adding to the sense of WHOLESALE RIP OFF of taxpayers and service users, bosses also demanded “An Uplift Band payable to Service Directors to reward exceptional performance.”

An “uplift band” that can earn a maximum of 15 PER CENT of total salary. In other words, service directors could earn as much as £110K A YEAR if they meet undisclosed performance targets based on secret criteria judged by themselves! But don’t worry, because bosses assured councillors they’d inform them immediately after they’d awarded themselves any “uplift band”!

The cost of all these proposed wage hikes appears to be in the region of £400K OF COUNCIL TAX PAYERS MONEY and no doubt these bosses have worked very hard indeed to set aside our money to sort out their wages for the next year in these straightened times?

But what about their staff? Are they getting a four per cent pay rise and a 15% “uplift band”? Well, we’re yet to hear ANYTHING AT ALL about pay proposals for them!

This pay demand – disguised as a ‘pay policy’ – now goes before all councillors at a FULL COUNCIL MEETING next Tuesday. And the Human Resources Committee, chaired by a supposed trade unionist, LABOUR’S Mike “Arselick” Wollacott is recommending councillors agree to bump the bosses’ wages up by 20 per cent while offering no pay rise to other council workers.

With trade unionists like this, who needs exploitative bosses?

THE BRISTOL BLOGGER’S ELECTION WATCH: COMMENTARY AND RESULTS

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Official election results are here

City Council Twitter feed is @BristolCouncil

BCC Live Webcast (from midnight) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaIwhm17tQs

10.00pm: Polls are closed!

From the Bone Blog:

AVONMOUTH LATEST: Steve Norman reports that he was able to flyer every house in the ward, turnout is up, and result expected between 12-3am.The result swill be a close call between local Tory turned ukip – SPUD MURPHY – and longtime Labour hatchet man John Bees…………both parties throwing waves of footsoldiers at it so Steve has a tough job.

10.40pm: more news on the city council election cock-up. Voters without polling cards were turned away from polling stations this morning as officers had not been supplied with full electoral registers. Wot a shambles. Can the Returning officer resign in the morning please?

10.50pm: ***BREAKING NEWS***

News emerging that City Director, Max Wide, is procuring an independent investigation into the conduct of fat boy Lib Dem Gary Hopkins. More news as we get it.

Hopkins has been spotted skulking around Knowle today with only Lib Dem loser “Steve “In A” Comer for company. No Lib Dem, including fellow ward councillor Chris Davies, will go near him!

11.05pm: Tory MP Charlotte Bacardi has been running around Avonmouth like a blue arsed fly (one of about a million currently in the area) trying to prop up her failing Green supporting candidate, Matt Melia from the “Norman Effect” and UKIP.

11.20pm: UKIP CRAP: polling 30% in results in Labour Sunderland. Rumoured to have won 2 seats in Woking.

11.35pm: BBC reporting national turnout at low to mid 30 per cent. The can’t be arsed win again.

11.50: Lib Dems on 3% down 15% in Sunderland. Ha, ha, ha wankers! May have to adjust my Bristol predictions …

12.15am: They’ve been describing Swindon as “very interesting” on the BBC!

Twitter gossip suggests UKIP could win in Brislington East!

Our so-called rival, Bristol 24/7, suggests we might get a result by 1.30am. So plenty of time for BCC to screw up yet …

 12.40am: consensus apart from Labour supporters is that Labour are having an underwhelming evening. It’s all about UKIP.

12.45am: Bristol NW MP Charlotte Bacardi is at the count and exhibiting reading skills as she helps with the Avonmouth count. Presumably hers is a specific dyslexia relating to the completion of political donation forms only?

Steve Norman and entourage have been at the count over half an hour and haven”t decked anyone. This is a victory.

01.00am: Counting underway in Bristol. UKIP may take Hengrove! It’s Lab vs UKIP in Avonmouth. UKIP doing ‘OK’ in Kingsweston but possibly not good enough to win …

01.05am: Bristol West Lib Dem MP Stephen Williams and his entourage “look like the fucking Addams Family”. Their night is likely to be even more horrifying – ‘The Lib Dem Chainsaw Massacre’?

01.15am: results coming in from Birmingham. Bristol still dicking about.

01.20: Switch in Avonmouth. It looks like Tory vs UKIP. Labour’s “Bumbling” Bees “looks well pissed off”. Good.

01.30: Bristol 24/7 reports Tim Kent “may be safe”. Lid Dem meltdown not happening in Bristol. Shit, we’re a wishy-washy Lib Dem city aren’t we?

01.55: Our congenitally useless council appears unable to count ballot papers.

ITV are reporting, “there are precisely 24 tables and none are counting”!

02.00: Avonmouth, Brilington East and Hengrove “look good” for UKIP. This looks like aminor Bristolian political earthquake. Time for the left to rethink?

02.20: Bristol City Council has just confirmed “all the postal votes are in the building”. That’s the postal votes thst had to travel 2 miles from the Council House to the City Academy. It’s a shambles.

02.50: Result imminent?

03.00: that fucking gormless returning officer is blaming “technical problems in the counting of postal votes for delays”.

THE BRISTOL BLOGGER’S ELECTION WATCH: INTRO

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Right. Here’s my election intro’. Apologies for any errors but I can’t be arsed with doing too much research so I’ve just cobbled this together from the list of candidates and relied on my general knowledge. Please post any corrections to the comments.

I’ve no idea about majorities, swings and all the statistical stuff because it’s too boring for words and I really can’t be bothered to look it all up. Anyway, hopefully Paul Smith will pop along to bore us with all that stuff as the night proceeds …

My generalised predictions are: a good night for Labour; a disaster for the Lib Dems; a couple of seats for the Greens and – percentage wise – a good night for UKIP but probably no councillors. My dodgy ward predictions are below.

The wards to watch:

Avonmouth: a three way marginal between UKIP, Labour and the Tories. Plus it has the added ingredient of Steve “The Voice” Norman running as an independent. Steve’s unlikely to win but he may pull enough votes to affect the outcome. If Merchant Venturer apologist and all-round sell-out, Labour’s John Bees loses then Steve will consider it a victory and be back for more in 2016. I’ll call this for the Green voting Tory candidate, Matthew Melia.

Kingsweston: Experienced campaigner Terry Thomas running for UKIP. If they’re going to win anywhere it will be here. The other frontrunners are Tim Leaman (Lib) and Mike Thorne (Lab). Labour to win?

Southville: Greens are desperate to hold this and have brought back Charlie Bolton to fight it. Presumably Charlie wants in so that he can take up full time fagging duties at the Counts Louse for his public school friend, Mayor Fergo? Labour’s Celia Phipps is an entirely superfluous NHS middle manager. UKIP are running too. Green hold.

Knowle: Lib Dem fat tosser Gary Hopkins’ ward. He’s got to overcome a massive national swing and a considerable wave of personal hatred towards him in the ward to hang on. Seems unlikely so they’ll be champagne corks popping in Knowle tonight when Labour’s Chris Orlik romps home. UKIP are running.

Bishopston: Green target seat. They’re up against the Labour Party’s bullying social worker boss Eileen “Meanie” Means. So let’s all cheer her demise. Green gain.

Whitchurch Park: Lib Dem boss, Tim Kent’s patch. Under serious threat from a massive national swing against Lib Dems and local indifference. Up against a middle class gal from Bishopston, Alice Bouquet,  just off the Labour Party’s machine politician production line. For some reason they think student politics is the way forward for a working class south Bristol ward. Whoever wins, we all lose. UKIP are running here too. Labour gain.

Redland: Independents for Bristol number one target despite the oddity Stella Perrett being their candidate. Perrett is an old Lib Dem and a former associate of Lib Dem paedo councillor John Astley and so is an odd choice for candidate. The Greens fancy this ward as they desperately triangulate ever further towards the Lib Dems (even down to having bent councillors) and the Lib Dems probably think they can hold on too. This is a test of the Lib Dem vote in their heartlands and will be a useful guide to Bristol West in the General Election next year. I’ve personally no idea who will win but I’ll say Lib Dem Hold.

And the others:

Bedminster: Labour cabinet member Mark Bradshaw’s backyard. He should hold easily.

Bishopsworth: Solid Conservative ward. IfB have local Jon Craig running. Labour gobshite Kye Dudd is running too but will come nowhere; Tory Kevin Quartley will hold.

Brislington East: Mike Wollacott for Labour will hold. UKIP running.

Brislington West: Lib Dem Peter Main has held the seat for years. Is it finally over? UKIP running. Labour unknown Rhian Greaves also running. Lib Dem hold.

Filwood: Labour’s Chris Jackson will hold this easily.

Hartcliffe: Mildly interesting as sitting Labour councillor Derek “Wanker” Pickup was deselected in favour of the youthful Naomi Rylatt. Rylatt is at least from south Bristol rather than imported from Bristol West to bore us all to death with student equalities bullshit. Labour hold.

Henbury: Labour hold for Rosalie Walker. The ward is actually held by Tory idiot Mark Weston, the former chair of the useless audit committee. He personally oversaw the disappearance of hundreds of thousands of pounds and the bullying of whistleblowers trying to expose this. Deserves to lose. Labour gain.

Hengrove: This is between Lib Dem councillor Sylvia Doubell and Labour challenger Yvonne Clapp. UKIP are running. Labour gain?

Henleaze: Lib Dem Clare Campion-Smith should hold this. Another Lib Dem heartland seat. If they lose this then Bristol West MP Stephen Williams is in trouble. UKIP are running.

Horfield: Formerly a solid Lib Dem seat. Can Chery Ann hold on to this Bristol West Lib Dem heartland seat? I haven’t got a clue. UKIP running. Lib Dem hold.

Lockleaze: Lib Dem Sean Emmett is doomed. Gill Kirk for Labour will win this. UKIP running.

Southmead: Jenny Smith, who appeared senile when I met her about 20 years ago, remains the Labour candidate and she will win. UKIP running and it will be interesting to see how they get on.

St George West: Labour’s Peter Hammond’s seat. The fact he’s been living in Manchester for at least 6 months while claiming councillor expenses seems to have passed everyone by. IfB have a candidate – Jane Westhead. Labour without Hammond will hold.

Stockwood: David Morris will hold this for the Tories

Stoke Bishop: Tory John Goulandris will hold. UKIP running.

Westbury: Tory Alastair Watson will hold. UKIP running.

Windmill Hill: Lib Dem Andrew Brown is taking over a big majority from retiring old fart Alf Havock. The hugely entertainingly named Sam Mongon is running for Labour. UKIP running too. Lib Dem hold.

And finally, with the highly public sacking and humiliation of Returning Officer and Chief Solicitor, Stephen “Lycra” McNamara last year for a general level of unbelievable incompetence, we have a new, untried Returning Officer, “God” Zilah Morris. It will be interesting to see if she can continue Lycra’s grand tradition of lost ballots, lost ballot boxes, late counts, creative arithmetic and all-round cock-up.

Early signs are promising as we’ve already had reports of polling stations with incomplete and missing electoral registers.

That should help prevent any fraud! Ho, ho!