Tag Archives: Bristol 24-7

RACE TO THE BOTTOM

Matiluko

Bristol 24/7’s new deputy editor from London is shaping up to be quite the entertainer. Seun “Scoop” Matiluko kicked off her career in Bristol with an exciting three hour book promo interview with the Reverend Rees.

Much of Matiluko’s scribblings were a lengthy repetition of the Reverend’s neo-Dickensian back story, which we’ve all heard before. However, she also briefly unexplains the Reverend’s eight-year run-in with “Twitter trolls” and local reporters. “This is what we end up going back-and-forth about for the majority of our chat,” she says.

Neutrally calling local Twitter users “keyboard warriors”, Seun says, “some describe [Rees] as a career politician or self-promoter,” without bothering with any of the detail unearthed on Twitter about Rees’s administration over the last eight years.

On local reporters, Seun helpfully explains, “some of the local reporting on Marvin’s tenure could very much be described as racist.”

Unfortunately she doesn’t bother to very much identify what reporting and we are very much left with an impression that any journalist in the city, including Seun’s subordinates at 24/7, could very much be racist.

That’s cleared that up then.

LOSERS FOR GEORGE #2: DOING THE BUSINESS?

abdul_1Mayor George is certainly racking up support among the city’s FAILED POLITICIANS. Joining the Greens’ Darren “BUGGER” Hall in supporting Mayor Crap for another term in 2016 is Lib Dem Abdul “Wannabe” Malik.

Malik was briefly a councillor in Easton 2005 – 2009 when he lobbied hard and FAILED to get nominated for the post of Lord Mayor. He then went on to LOSE a number of council elections in Easton before LOSING AGAIN in this year’s general election in Bristol East.

Malik has told the NAZI POST and Ferguson’s in-house website BRISTOL 24/7 (twice!), “as a businessman, I can see firsthand the benefits that the Mayor is bringing to Bristol.”

Well, it’s certainly nice to hear that wealthy local businessmen are benefiting from Mayor Backhanders’ regime even if disabled children in need of respite care aren’t.

The Lib Dems are now in the process of throwing this disloyal twat out of their party we understand.

SUPER SLEUTHING TWAT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE?

247bla

Bristol 24/7 have appointed a new super exciting investigative journalist, Louis “YES BOSS” Emmanuel – the Nazi Post’s old office boy – to their hapless team of has-beens, inadequates and deadbeats.

Just a few days after starting at the richman’s vanity operation, the super-
sleuthing buffoon burst into the HYDRA BOOKSHOP on Old Market loudly demanding in his posh twit voice, “where do I find an anarchist”.

After the HILARITY had eventually died down, someone stepped forward, happy to tell the hack all about his chosen subject – “police oppression”.

Alas, barely five minutes into the conversation a confused, bemused and terrified Emmanuel turned and scarpered out of the shop never to be seen or heard from again!

So far, his heart-stopping EXCLUSIVE police expose is yet to appear. Did the mayor redline it?

Instead, it seems, the expert hack has now turned his attention to another huge public interest story – BRISTOL NEWS. A Facebook page run by a local resident that’s highly criticalof Mayor 24/7 and his dodgy antics that consistently go unreported by, er, Bristol 24/7.

Louis, for some reason, has bravely delivered a threatening ULTIMATUM by email to the owner of this Facebook page. “This is your last chance to work with us,” barked 24/7’s attack puppy.

And then what happens we wonder? Are Louis’ inept bosses Mike “Cunt” Bennett and Fat Dougal losing so much money and getting so thoroughly TROUNCED by competition from a Facebook page they’re going to run a smear campaign against their rival written by an idiot?

Will this boost their DISMAL circulation figures then? Or will it just promote their part-time, superior competition a little bit more?

THE BRISTOLIAN RETURNS – A NATION REJOICES!

Assorted coverage of the reappearance of The BRISTOLIAN (v4.0)… If you see any more drop us a line!