Tag Archives: Bristol Evening Post

GAGA GOES A-GAGGING

News of former city council Chief Exec, Nicola “Lady Gaga” Yates’s ridiculous £196k pay-off for failure from the Rev Mayor Rees recently appeared in the Nazi Post accompanied by some commentary from local rent-a-quote Tory buffoon Richard “BUNTER” Eddy.

Alas, this public revelation of her OPEN TROUGHING at the direct expense of the Bristolian public hasn’t gone down too well with Gaga. So she’s got some Liverpool-based self-styled leftie lawyer firebrands Messrs Bootfill and Carpetbag (surely EAD SOLICITORS, ed) – who describe themselves as “proud to support Trade Unions” and er, “greedy bastard former public sector executives”, it seems – to threaten Bunter with LIBEL.

To his credit, Bunter has basically told Gaga and her crappy little legal firm of five star hypocrites to FUCK OFF and take up any libel matters directly with the Post who actually published the information.

It’ll be interesting to see, then, whether Gaga and her FLAT TRACK BULLY employment law experts take up Bunter’s suggestion they sue the Post for libel. Or are they just a bunch of bluffers prepared to prey on the weak, the scared and the ignorant?

Watch this space …

ps. any scouse legal firm specialising in employment law (and pretending to be left wing to drum up business from the gullible) that wish to threaten us with libel can send piss weak threats to us at: thebristolianATgooglemail.com in the first instance. A reply is assured!

AVONMOUTH ASTROTURF

Astroturf

Astroturf

A pro-business, pro-polluter grassroots campaign called ‘AVONA’ appears to have mysteriously sprung up in Avonmouth.

The ‘ASTROTURFING’ campaign (known as such because of its fake grassroots) appears to be very well funded indeed through a mystery slush fund, apparently being handled by a local business-friendly resident, Ian Smith with the help of a local church!

Smith has already set up a cheesy branded ‘Avona’ website registered in his name and he’s helped create and distribute 4,000 USELESS GLOSSY QUESTIONAIRES to residents. These questionaires – complete with paid reply envelopes – must have cost a fair few quid and it isn’t clear where Smith got the cash from.

Not least because neither ‘Avona’ nor any of the other names he uses for his “COMMUNITY ORGANISATION” like ‘Avonmouth Projects’ or ‘Avonmouth Village’ have formal constitutions, memberships or open accounts we can have a look at.

A handy means, then, of handling cash from UNDISCLOSED SOURCES who might want to avoid the scrutiny of any successful anti-pollution campaigners in Avonmouth. Especially campaigners who have been hitting business hard where it hurts – in the wallet.

As the Bristolian has already reported, Smith received £1,000 into his personal bank account from bust criminal waste polluters Boomeco just before last Christmas to fund seasonal festivities for the community in Avonmouth. This money has subsequently DISAPPEARED without explanation after many residents demanded it was returned to the polluters.

Smith also recently launched an ATTACK in the The Nazi Post on the organisers of a, potentially, multi-million pound legal class action against the local criminal polluters, Boomeco responsible for 2014’s fly plague. He described the trio as ‘VILE’ and claimed no one in the village supported them.

An unlikely claim as 200 residents have signed-up to SUE THE ARSE OFF Boomeco and its boss Oliver Latter. Smith, meanwhile, can claim the support of, er, Boomeco plus the company’s chief supporter and supplier of public money, Mayor Poison and some RETARDED VICAR prepared to put mysterious cash handouts through his church accounts to help out local businesses keen to fight local campaigners.

Smith is also reputed to have requested cash for a leaflet/questionaire from George Ferguson when he attended a small INVITATION-ONLY community meeting with Mayor Bent-as-Fuck in Avonmouth on 25 June. A PRIVATE MEETING organised through the supposedly public and city council-run Neighbourhood Partnership.

Quite why Bristol City Council would consider handing money to an individual POSING as a community organisation without working through the agreed, open and accountable Neighbourhood Partnership grants process is not at all clear.

Neither is it clear why Avonmouth’s Neighbourhood Partnership boss and city council employee, Keith “Lazy Boy” Houghton, has been offering support and encouragement to Smith, a FRIEND OF LOCAL POLLUTERS, while marginalising the views of, at least, 200 RESIDENTS involved in a wildy successful legal action against er, LOCAL POLLUTERS!

Rest assured the Bristolian will be keeping a close eye on these dodgy dealings …

LOSERS FOR GEORGE #2: DOING THE BUSINESS?

abdul_1Mayor George is certainly racking up support among the city’s FAILED POLITICIANS. Joining the Greens’ Darren “BUGGER” Hall in supporting Mayor Crap for another term in 2016 is Lib Dem Abdul “Wannabe” Malik.

Malik was briefly a councillor in Easton 2005 – 2009 when he lobbied hard and FAILED to get nominated for the post of Lord Mayor. He then went on to LOSE a number of council elections in Easton before LOSING AGAIN in this year’s general election in Bristol East.

Malik has told the NAZI POST and Ferguson’s in-house website BRISTOL 24/7 (twice!), “as a businessman, I can see firsthand the benefits that the Mayor is bringing to Bristol.”

Well, it’s certainly nice to hear that wealthy local businessmen are benefiting from Mayor Backhanders’ regime even if disabled children in need of respite care aren’t.

The Lib Dems are now in the process of throwing this disloyal twat out of their party we understand.

MARKETS: THE PERSISTENCE OF UNEXPLAINED AMOUNTS OF MISSING CASH

The Markets FileThe City Council’s Audit Committee chair MARK “NO” BRAIN’s presentation of his yearly report to Full Council in July proved to be hugely entertaining for public and councillors.

Sporting a dazzling Salvador Dali tie, perhaps to highlight the surrealism of it all, a visibly wriggling, flustered and confused No Brain finally had to come up – publicly – with an explanation as to what’s been going in the council’s MARKET SERVICE for the last three years and what his committee’s done about it. And what a gem of an explanation we got!

No Brain confirmed that at least £41k was indeed MISSING from the service. Although he creatively upcycled and rebranded this embarrassing and inexplicable disappearance of cash from his description last month of it as “A DEBT” (owed by no one) to a “NOT QUITE A LOSS“!

He then claimed – WITHOUT ANY EVIDENCE – that the money definitely hadn’t been “misappropriated” and this “not-quite-a-loss” was the result of “mismanagement and bad accounting”.

Raising the immediate question of what the hell is “BAD ACCOUNTING” and how does it make £41k disappear into thin air?

Can we all do that? Or is it only city council middle managers who are allowed to run a set of accounts so shite that CASH CAN JUST RANDOMLY DISAPPEAR without any explanation and then get formally explained away by an idiot in a Salvador Dali tie as a “not-quite-a-loss”?

At least we’ve all now learned how to rip cash off the council. Just generally fuck up your accounts by inaccurately recording any cash going into those accounts; pocket the cash; forget to reconcile cash in the bank with your accounts and wait for the council’s Internal Auditors to formally sign it off as a “not-quite-a- loss” due to “mismanagement”!

This is all a change of tune from April, however, when finance bosses led by their Service Director Peter “What Crisis?” Gillett told No Brain and his committee of gullibles that the missing cash was “NOT thought to be the result of misappropriation or BAD MANAGEMENT

What’s changed since April? When did they decide that it was the fault of BAD MANAGEMENT? Are we seeing the wheels slowly coming off a poorly executed cover-up here as the excuses run out?

There’s plenty more questions to ask about all this too. Why are the council announcing this “not-quite-a-loss” now while a formal, FORENSIC AUDIT, announced in April, is still taking place? Until this audit is complete can the scale of their “not-quite-a-loss” really be officially confirmed?

So are council bosses still conspiring? This time to disguise any potentially bigger “not-quite-a-losses” from us?

An explanation is also needed about formal statements made on this matter over the summer of 2013 when both Mayor Bent Accounting and his sidekick Sir Gus Hoyty-Toyty publically insisted NO MONEY WAS MISSING from the Market Service.

Another, further, outright lie came in 2012 when the BBC were assured ON THE RECORD by the council’s PR department that NO MONEY WAS MISSING in markets and the whole episode was entirely down to an “antiquated” accounting system (even though the system was only a few years old!)

Council PR boss, Tim “Zombie” Borrett then briefed this exact same LIE to the Nazi Post in March 2014 when the bent little fucker bravely tried to blame The BRISTOLIAN for the suicide of his dubious colleague, Facilities boss Tony Harvey. The man DIRECTLY ACCOUNTABLE for the accuracy and coherence of the Market Service’s accounts.

At that time Zombie Borett was PEDDLING A LINE for shadowy senior council bosses and the mayor that butter wouldn’t melt in the mouths of any Market Service managers. They were poor innocents and unfortunates who had been horribly hounded by unscrupulous forces on the internet!

Zombie Borett also “forgot” to mention during his briefing to the Post that any money had gone missing in the Market Service. Now the very same markets bosses Zombie was aggressively defending are being fingered by senior figures within the council for “MISMANAGEMENT” and “BAD ACCOUNTING“.

It’s all slowly coming out isn’t it?

That Mark “No Brain” explanation of missing Markets money to Full Council on 21 July 2015 in full:

The issue of markets has been of some public interest in, er, some quarters.

Um (pause). Basically (pause). Um, er, we had an issue around management in the markets and the, er, loss, er, or not quite the loss (pause). The fact that £41,000 of marketing money. Er, rather markets money was unaccounted for.

Um (pause). Internal audit have investigated. They are of the view they will never find the £41,000. Um, er. They are of the view it hasn’t been misappropriated. It was just mismangement and bad accounting and that’s the reason we can’t find it. Rather than it’s actually been stolen … um.

 

 

#walrustrial: HOPKINS’ COPS A BELLYFLOP

Gary “FUCKBUCKET” Hopkins, local Lib Dem boss and the undisputed king of ridicule, has reported a Bristolian to the police claiming ‘harassment’ after a four line comment appeared in the Evening Post on Friday:

Forsey comment

After trying to contain themselves the officers at Broadbury Road police station happily dismissed the idiot time wasting liberal’s demented claim.

For, alas, it seems the cops at Broadbury Road have become a lot less accommodating of Fuckbucket’s personal foibles and requests since Southmead Police have started investigating their conduct with Hopkins.

Issues such as Broadbury Road cops handing Fuckbucket and his Lib Dem colleague, Mark Bailey, police intelligence regarding the Gothic Mansion at ASBO case conferences are now firmly in the spotlight.

Police are also becoming interested in hearing if the tiresome Fuckbucket is yet being investigated by the council for his behaviour. This was confirmed by the mayor and legal services a few weeks ago.

He doesn’t like it up him does he?

NO GOAT SEX PLEASE, I’M BARKING

Mayor “Uncle” Fergo’s got in early on the August media silly season.

    A mountain goat – there’s no evidence Uncle George has ever had sex with one of these although we think he may have one doing his PR.

A mountain goat – there’s no evidence Uncle George has ever had sex with one of these although we think he may have one doing his PR.

While whinging on the pages of the Nazi Post yesterday, the public relations genius randomly decided to deny he’s got any “unsavoury sexual preferences”!

How nice of everyone’s favourite kindly uncle to share that with us. But why? We’ve searched hard to find references anywhere to Uncle Fergo and “unsavoury sexual preferences” and have come up with nothing  (aside from that story knocking around the internet about Uncle Fergo, Mike Norton, the viagra, the stainless steel funnel and the gerbils, which is definitely not true).

But why would anyone publish a denial in their local newspaper of something they’ve never been accused of?

Still, it’s very hot out there and he’s very old. Perhaps Uncle Fergo needs a lie-down (just not anywhere near a student hall with that large cactus and the antique bullwhip collection again please).

 Know of any “unsavoury sexual preferences” that are nothing to do with Uncle Fergo? Why not tell us about them below?

****STOP PRESS****

In a desperate effort to shore up Uncle Fergo’s collapsing reputation and the attendant embarrassment to our city, Nazi Post nobody, Steve Mellen “Kim”, today asks why do so many people have it in for Bristol mayor George Ferguson?

Here at The BRISTOLIAN we think we may have the answer to that – is it because he’s a premier league arsehole?