Tag Archives: Bristol East

BRISTOL LABOUR MPs ‘EUPHORIC’ AT ELECTION DEFEAT

BRISTOL LABOUR MPs ‘EUPHORIC’ AT ELECTION DEFEAT

Bristol’s Labour MPs have reportedly been overjoyed at their Party’s defeat in December’s General Election.

“I have been euphoric,” said Bristol North West MP Darren ‘Dipshit’ Jones, “Corbyn and his fantasy of a fairer, more equal society is over. And I kept my job! It was my best Christmas for years,” added the Tony Blair fanboy.

Smiling from ear to ear, Bristol East MP Kerry McCarthy agreed … “It was a very Merry Christmas. Labour’s annihilation was wonderful. We have been desperate to get rid of Corbyn for years. Unfortunately, despite the best efforts of ourselves, the media and the entire Establishment he was still hugely popular with the members and the general public. We couldn’t budge him and we were desperate.

“Then, last year, (Deputy Leader) Tom Watson explained to me that Aleister Campbell and Peter Mandelson had a brilliant plan. We were to force Corbyn to back a second EU referendum against his wishes. This would then guarantee that we lost millions of working class voters and would be obliterated at the next General Election. We could then blame it on Corbyn!

“It was a brilliant plan, pure genius … And it worked like clockwork! The prospect for democratic change is now well and truly over,” she laughed.

Elsewhere, in Kingswood, Tory MP Chris Skidmore celebrated another victory … “I see this as a complete mandate,” he said. “When I return to Parliament in the new year I am going to give it my all. I will once again devote every ounce of my energy to knocking seven shades of shit out of the poor, the sick and the disabled. As for those idle British workers, those c#*ts are gonna get it with both barrels.”

“I’m gonna kick the living f#cking crap out of them, I swear on my life.”

LABOUR GOTH’S BARMY LAMA RUSE

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Bristol East MP, Kerry “The Banshee” McCarthy came up with an exotic excuse for not attending this year’s LABOUR PARTY CONFERENCE.  A conference where the ambitious centrist Labour MP would have been surrounded by the hordes of CORBYNITES who, in recent years, have ruined her slow and steady ascent up Labour’s greasy pole.

I’M MEETING THE DALAI LAMA,” explained the pint-sized goth to Bristol East members curious to know why she had decided to forego the thrills of the party conference. However, we learn, the Tibetan god among men allegedly cancelled his urgent appointment with the MP at the last moment and she had to stay home alone in Bristol instead.

Om Mani Padme Hum as they don’t say at St George Labour Club.

LOSERS FOR GEORGE #2: DOING THE BUSINESS?

abdul_1Mayor George is certainly racking up support among the city’s FAILED POLITICIANS. Joining the Greens’ Darren “BUGGER” Hall in supporting Mayor Crap for another term in 2016 is Lib Dem Abdul “Wannabe” Malik.

Malik was briefly a councillor in Easton 2005 – 2009 when he lobbied hard and FAILED to get nominated for the post of Lord Mayor. He then went on to LOSE a number of council elections in Easton before LOSING AGAIN in this year’s general election in Bristol East.

Malik has told the NAZI POST and Ferguson’s in-house website BRISTOL 24/7 (twice!), “as a businessman, I can see firsthand the benefits that the Mayor is bringing to Bristol.”

Well, it’s certainly nice to hear that wealthy local businessmen are benefiting from Mayor Backhanders’ regime even if disabled children in need of respite care aren’t.

The Lib Dems are now in the process of throwing this disloyal twat out of their party we understand.