Tag Archives: Lord Mayor

ELECTED FOOLS BELIEVE INVENTED RULES

Mike-Langley-council-meeting-tribute2

The DISDAIN and DISREGARD that the Reverend Rees and his council boss friends hold for our elected councillors and the public was on full display when the Reverend decided to REFUSE to answer public questions at a Full Council Meeting because some of them may have proved HIGHLY EMBARRASSING.

 The Reverend’s senior managers went to work for the mayor convincing councillors and our idiot Lord Mayor Jos “Halfwit” Clark that ‘rules’ PREVENTED the Mayor answering public questions during a general election. Councillors eagerly accepted this ‘advice’ from their expert officers, apparently oblivious to the fact NOTHING in national nor local election guidelines prevents either mayors or council leaders answering public questions at meetings during an election.

 To add insult to injury, at this very same council meeting where council officers were busily INVENTING RULES on behalf of their coward mayor, councillors were asked to consider an updated ‘Member – Officer Protocol’. A document outlining how councillors and council officers needed to treat each other with ‘RESPECT‘! Might this reasonably include the expectation that council officers tell councillors the truth about election rules?

 However, the real kick in the teeth came the next day when council officers used the council’s official Twitter account to PUBLISH A PHOTO OF THE REVEREND and his cabinet sidekick, Anna Keen, promoting some crap mayoral initiative in Southmead in direct contravention of, er, ELECTION GUIDELINES TO COUNCIL OFFICERS. These simple guidelines state, “councils should ‘not publish any material which, in whole or in part, appears to be designed to affect public support for a political party’”.

 How could council officers possibly not think a photo of two senior members of the Labour Party PROMOTING their initiative in the middle of a general election would not appear designed to affect public support for Labour?

The officers involved are bent and biased

FULL FARCE BRISTOL CITY COUNCIL

FULL FARCE BRISTOL CITY COUNCIL

by CITIZENS ROBESPIERRE & MURAT ably assisted by Dr J.I Guillotin

November’s Full Council meeting saw an outbreak of ‘MARIE ANTOINETTE SYNDROME’ among entitled councillors in official foppery pitted against a SEETHING MASS of unwashed sans-culottes in the public gallery. Controversy began when Lord Mayor Jos Clark decided (without historical precedence in Bristol or nationally) to SUSPEND PUBLIC QUESTIONS to the Mayor due to “lack of time, because of the national election”.

The Lord Mayor had informed public questioners by email that they could NOT ASK QUESTIONS in the Council Chamber and that the Mayor would not offer any verbal answers. Instead, questioners would receive a written response within 10 working days. The BRISTOLIAN, analysed these questions and – lo and behold – many were POTENTIALLY EMBARRASSING to the Reverend Rees. Raising issues such as the gentrification of Cumberland Basin, jobs for Marvin’s evangelical pals and the contra-BCC policy of hiring trade unionist BLACKLISTING CONSTRUCTION FIRMS.

Chaos reigned in the public gallery as, first, questioners were told that THEY COULDN’T SPEAK OR GET ANSWERS. Then they were told that, maybe, they COULD ASK QUESTIONS BUT NOT RECEIVE ANSWERS and then, finally, they were told that the original ruling would stand. Breathless council flunkies dashed around the chamber with leaflets and ‘clarifications’ as each modification was made up on the spur in council back offices. Adding to the confusion, it also turned out that some questioners were unaware of this ARBITRARY DECISION until they arrived.

Next, onlookers in the public gallery were confronted by BRISTOL’S COUNCILLORS SWANNING IN to pose in Hawaiian shirts for a photographer. Why was this? It was supposed to be a tribute to Hawaiian shirt fan Cllr Mike Langley, who had recently died. Shirt-clad councillors posed with arms around each other before going off to their benches and delivering 40 MINUTES OF SPEECHES in memoriam to their deceased colleague.

Those who knew Mike – A GENUINE SOCIALIST – were confronted with the unedifying spectacle of Tory, Blairite Labour, Lib Dem and the rest competing to see who could deliver the most NAUSEOUS HYPOCRISY while shedding CROCODILE TEARS as most of them had hated Mike. One councillor even announced … ‘In the words of Mike Langley, Vive la Revolution!’ The whole SORRY SPECTACLE resembled one of French Queen Marie Antoinette’s ‘soirees’ where she and her courtiers would dress up to play peasant shepherds and shepherdesses while real peasants starved outside the gates.

After their PRIVATE FANCY DRESS PARTY, the public presence in the gallery was finally acknowledged by the Versailles Court and farce descended into ABSURDITY. When ‘no-question’ time was announced, ONE PLUCKY PROLE stood up and asked why procedure had changed from what was in the council constitution?

Lord Mayor Clark tried to shut down this unseemly interruption to her travesty in motion while security goons twitched in anticipation on the gallery stairwell. Their services were unnecessary, however, as the prole sat down after shouting – to thunderous applause from angry sans-culottes in the gallery – ‘YOU’RE A DISGRACE – YOU SHOULD RESIGN!

Rumours of scythes and pitchforks being sharpened in Bristol’s outlying suburbs cannot be confirmed.

MORE MAYORAL SCANDAL AS FARUK GETS HIS PIPES CLEANED – AT YOUR EXPENSE!

It’s not all austerity doom-and-gloom in Bristol – at least not if you are LORD MAYOR FARUK CHOUDHURY.

The Easton councillor has enjoyed swanning around in his expensive red robes and fancy tricorn hat since being voted in by his Shitty Hall pals last May.

But with his term as Mayor coming to a close in a few months, it seems that the sword-wielding ceremonial head of Bristol has let the outdated trappings of office go to his head, even as hundreds of council staff wait to learn whether they’re getting the chop under the £90 million-worth of budget cuts expected soon from the real Mayor, Fat-Fingered Fergo.

Yes, Lord Mayor Choudhury has greenlit the £112,000 cleaning of organ pipes at his own personal church, the council-owned St. Mark’s Chapel at the bottom of Park Street!

Whether people in his ward think that’s a good use of the salaries of three or four workers will be clearer when he faces reelection next year…