Tag Archives: Mike Langley

FULL FARCE BRISTOL CITY COUNCIL

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FULL FARCE BRISTOL CITY COUNCIL

by CITIZENS ROBESPIERRE & MURAT ably assisted by Dr J.I Guillotin

November’s Full Council meeting saw an outbreak of ‘MARIE ANTOINETTE SYNDROME’ among entitled councillors in official foppery pitted against a SEETHING MASS of unwashed sans-culottes in the public gallery. Controversy began when Lord Mayor Jos Clark decided (without historical precedence in Bristol or nationally) to SUSPEND PUBLIC QUESTIONS to the Mayor due to “lack of time, because of the national election”.

The Lord Mayor had informed public questioners by email that they could NOT ASK QUESTIONS in the Council Chamber and that the Mayor would not offer any verbal answers. Instead, questioners would receive a written response within 10 working days. The BRISTOLIAN, analysed these questions and – lo and behold – many were POTENTIALLY EMBARRASSING to the Reverend Rees. Raising issues such as the gentrification of Cumberland Basin, jobs for Marvin’s evangelical pals and the contra-BCC policy of hiring trade unionist BLACKLISTING CONSTRUCTION FIRMS.

Chaos reigned in the public gallery as, first, questioners were told that THEY COULDN’T SPEAK OR GET ANSWERS. Then they were told that, maybe, they COULD ASK QUESTIONS BUT NOT RECEIVE ANSWERS and then, finally, they were told that the original ruling would stand. Breathless council flunkies dashed around the chamber with leaflets and ‘clarifications’ as each modification was made up on the spur in council back offices. Adding to the confusion, it also turned out that some questioners were unaware of this ARBITRARY DECISION until they arrived.

Next, onlookers in the public gallery were confronted by BRISTOL’S COUNCILLORS SWANNING IN to pose in Hawaiian shirts for a photographer. Why was this? It was supposed to be a tribute to Hawaiian shirt fan Cllr Mike Langley, who had recently died. Shirt-clad councillors posed with arms around each other before going off to their benches and delivering 40 MINUTES OF SPEECHES in memoriam to their deceased colleague.

Those who knew Mike – A GENUINE SOCIALIST – were confronted with the unedifying spectacle of Tory, Blairite Labour, Lib Dem and the rest competing to see who could deliver the most NAUSEOUS HYPOCRISY while shedding CROCODILE TEARS as most of them had hated Mike. One councillor even announced … ‘In the words of Mike Langley, Vive la Revolution!’ The whole SORRY SPECTACLE resembled one of French Queen Marie Antoinette’s ‘soirees’ where she and her courtiers would dress up to play peasant shepherds and shepherdesses while real peasants starved outside the gates.

After their PRIVATE FANCY DRESS PARTY, the public presence in the gallery was finally acknowledged by the Versailles Court and farce descended into ABSURDITY. When ‘no-question’ time was announced, ONE PLUCKY PROLE stood up and asked why procedure had changed from what was in the council constitution?

Lord Mayor Clark tried to shut down this unseemly interruption to her travesty in motion while security goons twitched in anticipation on the gallery stairwell. Their services were unnecessary, however, as the prole sat down after shouting – to thunderous applause from angry sans-culottes in the gallery – ‘YOU’RE A DISGRACE – YOU SHOULD RESIGN!’

Rumours of scythes and pitchforks being sharpened in Bristol’s outlying suburbs cannot be confirmed.

INHUMAN RESOURCES? COUNCIL CHIEFS EYE UP OVERTIME PAYMENTS

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Overtime ban threatened – but no one knows effects

Showing the sort of blue skies nonsense we are becoming familiar with under FÜHRER FERGO’s regime of red-trousered lunacy, a clique of overpaid senior managers has decided to SLASH overtime payments to a huge section of council employees.

The measures, put to the Human Resources Committee at its last meeting, were submitted as ‘information’ – but it’s clear that the councilors on the HRC, which is supposed to oversee all changes to terms and conditions for BCC staff, haven’t a clue what to do.

The overtime ban the bosses want in place will initially affect those on pay grades BG11 and above – hitting mostly middle managers – but sure as shit rolls downhill, it won’t be long before those on lower wage packets suffer too.

Chaired since May by Labour’s MIKE LANGLEY, ably assisted by his Brislington East wingman MIKE WOLLACOTT, their party colleague BILL ‘IN THE ARSE’ PAYNE, plus duff Lib Dems FI HANCE and GLENISE SWEETING ‘SOUR’ MORGAN and rounded out by Tory buffoon DICK EDDY, the HRC has so far BOTTLED the issue. It’s not as though it is the first they have heard about it – the ‘no overtime’ policy was brought up at a fractious full council meeting in February.

You would think that in the half-year since then some detailed costings would have been offered, or research started into the effects of such major cutbacks… But this being Bristol City Council, there has been nothing of the sort.

Instead, it appears the committee members are following the lead of the very people they are supposed to be directing: the CUTS-HAPPY TOP BOSSES running the council from the shadows, seemingly to please the increasingly temperamental and aloof GEORGE FERGUSON.

Unions have asked for a financial breakdown, and an explanation of how the changes will affect service delivery, only to be told that senior managers have ‘considered’ this – but that there are no actual figures or even minutes of meetings to back this up. Funny, that…

The usual lame promises that ‘this will not happen again’ were offered, plus the announcement that a full report on savings, and service delivery will be forthcoming at sometime in the next six months to a year.

The clear result of this policy will be the GRINDING TO A HALT of a vast array of out-of-office-hours services, from building security and maintenance of the docks system to public health inspections and support for vulnerable people – because no one in their right mind would work for nothing. Perhaps that’s the aim – for all we know Mayor Ferguson, the HRC and their senior officer chums want us all eating horsemeat burgers and the city flooded.

That would make more sense than the excuses they’ve offered so far.