Tag Archives: PAYE

TAX EFFICIENT EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

Francombe earning more than the PM for managing four employees!

Please step forward Fiona “Luvvie” Francombe, winner for ‘Outstanding Management and Leadership’ at this year’s Bristol Post & Bath Chronicle WOMEN OF THE YEAR Awards.

Fiona works MOST DAYS for the city council as Site Director at the Bottle Yard film studios from a city council office in a city council building using city council equipment. She even has a city council email address and spends lots and lots of city council and taxpayers’ money managing the state subsidised filmmaking facilities.

None of this seems to stop her setting herself up to get paid TAX EFFICIENTLY and avoid the little people’s PAYE obligations right under our noses, however. Fiona is also the Company Secretary for the Purcell Partnership Ltd and, it seems, her wages – at a DAY RATE OF £625 – from Bristol City Council are conveniently routed through the council’s employment agency, Guidant, to avoid prying eyes, difficult questions and, even, the attention of council auditors who tend to have an interest in high-earning council officers.

Why would Bristol City Council choose to pay a full time, permanent, middle-ranking member of staff who manages four staff a SIX FIGURE SALARY as a temp through an employment agency enabling them to AVOID substantial amounts of tax?

I think we need to be told …

FIREGUARD IN TOP JOB JOY

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Choco’s last great success

We know how to call it at The BRISTOLIAN. Following our in depth profile of The Reverend’s new Interim Strategic Director of Resources, Nicki “Chocolate” Beardmore, in issue 36, we learn the vicar’s appointed this useless twat HEAD OF PAID SERVICE and, effectively, his new Chief Exec!

The highlight of Chocolate’s CV is a stint as Chief Operating Officer for a loss making local authority company in Shropshire that had to be wound up for CORRUPTION. Just the person to take charge at Bristol City Council as our new “leader” then.

Oddly, Chocolate wasn’t appointed Head of Paid Service until 11 October, which meant another strategic director, John “Braindead” Readman had to fill in between Big Wedge’s low key DEPARTURE at the end of September and Chocolate’s CORONATION on 11 October. Why might this be?

Head of Paid Service is a statutory post that must be filled at all times and by an employee of the local authority. Could it be that Chocolate had to quickly rejig her financial affairs so that she was no longer paid TAX EFFICIENTLY through her own company but through the PAYE system like a NORMAL EMPLOYEE?

I think we should be told …

ST MARVIN’S UP-THE-CREEK PARISH NEWSLETTER #10

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This month I need to address hyperbolic descriptions of mythical failure that are circulating around my church regarding the so-say “chaos” in our parish administration. These rumours are spread by silly elements on the Parish Committee led by Ms Townsend and other troublemakers from the Dave Spart Academy – a weedy OFSTED ‘Needs Improvement’ institution – that now need to end.

I’m sure the quiet and sensible majority of you appreciate that myself and my exceptionally talented PR advisor, Mr Slocombe, have taken firm and decisive action since the tragic resignation of our parish administrator, Ms Klonowski from London who had to urgently run away and look after her parents.

As I explained after my sermon on the joy and wonder of corporate social responsibility last Sunday, I have appointed, on a competitive day rate, Miss Beardmore from Shropshire as interim Head of Parish Service to meet certain ecclesiastical duties and key functions. This role should not, however, be mistaken for a Parish Administrator, which is a different role entirely. This seems perfectly clear and unchaotic to me.

Miss Beardmore has bags of experience having worked tirelessly here at St Marvin’s to reduce our utility bills, which have only increased by £10,000 over the last year. Before this she oversaw business operations for the Bishop of Shropshire, until, sadly, these were wound up earlier this year after the rather unfortunate news regarding the Bishop and the conduct of some of his Diocese’s financial affairs.

Miss Beardmore from Shropshire will be assisted by Miss McGeachie from Peterborough, a new member of the Parish Committee who I have appointed to streamline the Parish Committee’s leadership structure. It’s our shared vision to create a parish where everyone will simply shut up and let me get on with it. Miss Beardmore is also vastly experienced and has helped bust unions at Tescos as well as working at St Crapitas, Barnet and with big important corporations with lots of money like Lendlease at Haringay’s St Selloff’s.

Indeed, so keen are Miss Beardmore and Miss McGeachie to preserve resources and save the parish money here at St Marvin’s they have kindly opted out of our PAYE system and all of that expensive employment administration nonsense. Instead, they will simply bill us through their personal private limited companies.

What fantastic commitment to the parish this demonstrates, as well a keen understanding of the tax advantages available to high-earners. As my mentor, the Texan psychotic preacher and notorious anti-communist homophobe, the Pastor Righteous Loon says, “those that are tax efficient at work are seen as efficient in the eyes of God.”

The truth – rather than the hyperbolic description – is that St Marvin’s now has an enormously capable and talented leadership team in place. Myself, Mr Slocombe, Miss Beardmore and Miss McGeachie are made of the right stuff and our parish can only go forwards not backwards. I therefore politely suggest that those in the parish harking hyperbolically backwards and not energetically forwards get back to their failing school and start going forward. There’s no reverse gear in this church!

The Vicar