Richard “Wanksy” Hanks has ‘resigned’ as Bristol’s Director of Education but is officially on ‘sick leave’ for now. Allegedly, Wanksy got a bollocking by the cabinet over SEND just before his ‘resignation’
His replacement, Reena “Dolores” Bhogal-Welsh from the University of Bolton is an interim appointed outside any normal processes.
Sources say she’s “totally out of her depth” and is especially shit-scared of the Bristol Parent Carer Forum. Probably wise. They’ve seen off three of her predecessors in the last three years – Stubby Stubbersfield, Pervy Hurley and now Wanksy.
Also heading for the exit is Head of Education Psychology Vikki Jervis who, seems to have spent most of her work time on Twitter reading parents’ feeds and circulating the material around the council.
Who will be next out the revolving door before independent investigators arrive to look at the SEND spying issue?
The fatuous twat’s fatuous twat
departed back to Bath as he arrived, wearing a really shit suit and talking
bollocks. Finally, we bid adieu to Alan “Stubby” Stubbersfield,
Bristol City Council’s bizarre interim Director of Education – THE BOSS WHO
COULDN’T SEEM TO COUNT – appointed by council social care exec, Jacqui
“Village” Jensen to sort out the shambles in her SEND department.
Stubby, best known for maintaining a reasonably cheerful disposition while trousering A SIX-FIGURE SUM for overseeing, possibly, the worst run local authority department in the country, had a habit of releasing formal reports regarding Bristol’s SEND department to councillors and the public, only to have to WITHDRAW significant facts and figures in these reports because they were wrong.
As his parting shot to Bristol, Stubby
of the Bailey had a crack at some law. Releasing his final report to a scrutiny
committee meeting, he announced that the decision by the High Court in 2018
that found Bristol City Council had acted unlawfully when it cut £5million from
its SEND budget was INCORRECT and the council had therefore done nothing
WRONG.
This counter-factual nonsense didn’t go
down well with either parents or politicians and left Stubby mumbling inanely
about “legal advice from Bristol lawyers”. After receiving a THOROUGH
BOLLOCKING from virtually everyone present at the meeting, Stubby issued
another one of his grovelling public apologies for getting it all wrong
(again).
Stubby and his AMAZING ACCIDENTAL
REPORTS have now been replaced by new boss Alison Hurley “Burly”.
We don’t know much about Alison yet, but her name provides opportunities for
naff references to Macbeth. And, let’s face it, three witches huddled around a
cauldron in the basement of the Counts Louse incanting “Eye of newt and toe
of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog” HAS AS MUCH CHANCE OF SUCCESS
as any strategy devised by Stubby and the council’s resident village idiot
Jacqui Jensen.
We await Alison’s formal actions on SEND with interest. Can she exceed Stubby’s extraordinary failures?
Could confused parishioners with low performing children who lack leadership qualities please note that, while I may be Chair of the St Snoot’s Academy, the parish’s OFSTED ‘outstanding’ high performing religious secondary school, I can in no way be held responsible for any of the entirely unforeseen consequences of the budgetary transformation of SEND resources there. This has been confirmed by Mr Stubbersfield from Bath who was recently appointed at great expense by the school’s executive leadership team on a consultancy basis to develop a convincing alternative narrative for the disaster.
This means blame for the closure of the specialist SEND unit at the school as part of a drive toward improved outcomes efficiency is not something that can be laid at my door. Neither am I in any way responsible for placing SEND children in inappropriate mainstream school settings without support. Nor should I be reproached for any alleged upgrading in so-called ‘off-rolling’ at the school as a result of unavoidable errors. All of this has been confirmed by Mr Stubbersfield deploying various insightful statistics at a variety of illuminating meetings whose minutes are not available for very complicated children’s safeguarding reasons that need not concern us here.
I therefore suggest that Ms Townsend and the ragbag of troublemakers, terrorists and rumour mongers from the parish’s OFSTED ‘Needs Improvement’ Dave Spart Academy who continue to encourage confused parishioners with low performing children at St Snoot’s to blame me for the decline in SEND provision now desist from this nonsense. Instead parishioners need to accept our Parish Committee member for Children’s Worship, Jacqui Jensen from Devon’s vivid explanation, devised with the help of Mr Stubbersfield, that a kind of mix between paralysis and panic has taken hold at St Snoot’s for entirely unforeseen reasons that will never be explained but are clearly not in any way the fault of anyone responsible.
Sometimes strong leadership means accepting that events are not of our making but are part of God’s larger plan. As my mentor, the Texan psychotic preacher and notorious anti-communist homophobe, the Pastor Righteous Loon says, “If God’s Kingdom you are creating on Earth is looking a bit schlonky then blame the good lord using a vaguely relevant biblical quote”.
Going forward, let me assure unfortunate parishioners with low performing children at St Snoot’s that we will be creating an exciting new SEND strategy to replace our last strategy very soon. The ‘quick wins’ we are urgently developing to placate any especially sharp elbowed parents with access to solicitors may even be implemented as soon as next year. In the meantime any of our children’s suffering needs to be understood in context. Namely that God has created a kind of mix between paralysis and panic at St Snoot’s and for such mysterious work the lord can only be praised and celebrated.
The latest interim consultant ON AN UNDISCLOSED DAY RATE to run Bristol City Council’s half-arsed, partially legal education service is cheery Bath resident, Alan “Stubby” Stubbersfield. Like most jobbing consultants, Stubby’s main concern, rather than the education of our children, is to cover the arses of any fellow consultants so that they can keep their lucrative gravy train on the rails for a few more years yet.
Stubby was recently CONFRONTED at Bristol Schools Forum meeting about the relationship between a gormless predecessor’s decision to CUT payments to educational psychologists and the current inability – ON STUBBY’S WATCH – of the council to complete Education Health and Care Plans (EHCPs) for children with special educational needs.
The cuts were large too. Spend on educational psychologists in 2016 – 17 was £1,159,000, by 2018 – 19 it was £797,000. So, at present, the EHCP process, which should take 20 weeks is taking 40 – 50 WEEKS and without an EHCP a child is deprived of any support in school and – in some cases – even a school to attend.
Stubby’s response was cheerily oblique. “If you look at the attempts to save High Needs Block spend on psychologists … I think probably AN UNFORESEEN CONSEQUENCE of that is in terms of that team’s ability to turn around assessments in a timely manner,” he blandly explained
Exactly what kind of fucking moron is it that can’t foresee that IF YOU CUT STAFF FUNDING, YOU CUT STAFF AND YOU’LL GET LESS WORK DONE? And why would anyone pay this level of moron a six-figure sum of council taxpayers’ money? Stubby, of course, sees it differently and AVOIDS BLAMING HIS INTERIM PREDECESSOR AT ALL COSTS
“I think there’s a question there about the extent to which we are appropriately supporting the ability of the Local Authority through its Education Psychology service to do what’s necessary,” he explained as if it’s all our fault.
There’s another question here too. Why are we paying interim consultant after interim consultant stupid money for stupid decisions they’re never around to account for.
