BUNDRED REPORT: PANIC AT THE TOP?

A sense of DISARRAY and PANIC at the top of Bristol City Council is emerging as public anger and a determined effort to rid ourselves of the THIRTY bosses who hid a £30m budget black hole from the Bristolian public and their councillors in 2016 grows by the day. The latest tactic from Bristol City Council’s CRIMINAL gang of Strategic and Service Directors […]

BUNDRED REPORT: MARV’S FINANCE UNDER-THE-CARPET MANOEUVRE CHALLENGED

The Rev Rees’s only response to his ‘BUNDRED REPORT‘ into the state of the city council’s finances, released last week, has so far been a vague promise – delivered on-trend via Youtube – that everything will be sorted out by 2020. “Don’t worry, there’s not much to see here really,” implies Marvin and his gormless gang of soft-headed Labour councillors. BOLLOCKS. The Reverend […]

MARKET FARCES: ‘REASONABLE’ LOSSES?

Elsewhere in the latest markets report we’re assured that the OLD BENT MANAGEMENT of the service has now been moved on in favour of a new, young all-singing, all dancing team. So how are the new team getting on? Well, a careful read of the report reveals they have managed to collect just 73 PER […]

MARKET FARCES: A WRITE OFF?

Our endless trudge through the city council’s farcically bent MARKETS SERVICE continues into another year … Back in December, the authority’s ineffectual Internal Audit service dished up their FIFTH report in THREE YEARS about the service for the benefit of their gormless councillor overseers on the Audit Committee. This time around, as well as the […]

MARKETS: THE PERSISTENCE OF UNEXPLAINED AMOUNTS OF MISSING CASH

The City Council’s Audit Committee chair MARK “NO” BRAIN’s presentation of his yearly report to Full Council in July proved to be hugely entertaining for public and councillors. Sporting a dazzling Salvador Dali tie, perhaps to highlight the surrealism of it all, a visibly wriggling, flustered and confused No Brain finally had to come up […]

MARKETS: THE LATEST LIE

It’s the story that never dies! Minutes finally published in late June for a meeting that took place on 24 April reveal that the council have discovered £41k in CASH is MISSING from their Markets Service. Just like The BRISTOLIAN’s been saying all along! But how can this be? Didn’t Mayor Cover-Up and his trusty […]

#thewalrustrial TORY IDIOT RESPONDS TO CORRUPTION ALLEGATIONS!

  Steve Norman’s received a reply to his email sent to all councillors last night pointing out that their local authority’s resources and officers have been used to pursue a PERSONAL VENDETTA against a member of the public on behalf of Bristol City Council’s Lib Dem leader, Gary “FUCKBUCKET” Hopkins. And what a reply! It […]

GAGA’S GAG SENSATION

Looks like council Chief Exec NICOLA “LADY GAGA” YATES has been living up to her name. The BRISTOLIAN can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that over the last year the city council has gagged at least TWELVE departing members of staff, preventing them discussing any aspect of their employment with the council in exchange for CASH. The total […]

DID THE BRISTOLIAN KILL A BOSS WITH A TOP SECRET SONIC DEATH RAY MACHINE?

A strange article appears in the Nazi Post regarding the death of Tony Harvey and featuring Bristol City Council’s PR boss and general odd bod ‘Dim’ Tim Borrett in various guises. Borrett accidentally overlooks his own council’s duty of care towards Harvey and appears to blame your caring, sharing BRISTOLIAN for Harvey’s death while painting a […]

MARKET FARCES: SPUNKFACE DANGLE HORROR

**** PRIVATE SECTOR TWIT DIDN’T LIFT A FINGER TO HELP HIS HUMILIATED EMPLOYEE HARVEY **** **** EGOMANIAC BOSS COULDN’T HANDLE ‘LOSS OF FACE’ **** Moonlighting private sector property boss, ROBERT “SPUNKFACE” ORRETT, took over line management duties for death riddle markets boss TONY HARVEY from MIKE “TAX EFFICIENT” WATTS in December 2012 soon after the […]