Tag Archives: Angie Ridgwell

REVEALED: COUNCIL BOSSES IN SECRET ELECTION PLAN TO BACK TORIES

Senior BCC officers implicated in sick election plot

More illuminating news about the gang of overpaid RIGHT-WING DEADBEATS Bristol City Council calls its Senior Leadership Team…

Bristol City Council employees have contacted The BRISTOLIAN to express anger and amazement after discovering that the council’s most senior and well-paid managers have been plotting to use council taxpayer cash and resources to SUPPORT THE TORY PARTY come the general election!

At a meeting in August, members of the council’s Senior Leadership Team – including City Director NICOLA YATES, the now-departed ANGIE RIDGWELL, as well as legal eagle LIAM NEVIN – openly discussed how they could help to get the Conservative-LibDem coalition government re-elected.

Also present was George Ferguson’s spin doctor PETER HOLT, who has since left Bristol City Council for the bright lights of Camden in north London. Could his recent twitter rage at The BRISTOLIAN have anything to do with his panic over us placing the Mayor’s Propaganda Minister in the room during a discussion of dubious legality?

Completing the dastardly cabal were Health supremos ALISON COMLEY and JANET MAXWELL, Neighbourhoods boss MIKE HENNESSEY, ISOBEL CATTERMOLE, who’s responsible for ‘Children, Young People & Skills’, Regeneration guru NEIL TAYLOR, and PAUL TAYLOR, who heads up the ‘Executive Office’.

ROLLCALL OF SHAME: Six figure-salaried senior officers

ROLLCALL OF SHAME: Six figure-salaried senior officers

In their own words they think it’s “important to identify some ‘QUICK WINS’ that could assist in the current Government’s election campaign, these would need to be submitted by January 2014. It was suggested that Boris Johnson’ [sic] vision be used to inform this piece of work.”

Just what relevance London’s Tory mayor Boris Johnson has for people in Bristol isn’t made clear – after all we have our own privately-educated MAYORAL BUFFOON to contend with. But what is clear is that these management muppets are brazenly breaking the law by promoting their own personal allegiances whilst in what are meant to be politically neutral roles.

'WE SHOULD COPY BORIS & SUPPORT THE TORIES'

‘Copy Boris, support the Conservaties’ agrees Senior Leadership Team

Matters are made worse by the fact that the government these unelected managers SECRETLY CONSPIRE to support is wrecking local government and the safety net of the welfare state.

The very things you’d think Bristol’s council officers should be protecting for its citizens.

There’s only one solution for this kind of shameless behaviour – sack these barmy bosses NOW!

THE (E)X-BOSS FILES #1: ANGIE RIDGWELL – “SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE CASH!”

The (E)X Boss Files

ANGIE ‘PAIDWELL’ RIDGWELL the former KPMG consultant who in the space of just nine months notched up three senior job titles at Bristol City Council (Corporate Services Director, City Director and now Organisational Development Director) and pocketed a tasty SIX FIGURE SALARY off the council tax payer – is quitting at the start of November, ‘to spend more time with her money’.

Riding into town in her top-of-the-range BMW, the dazzling redhead turned many a head, not least that of Mayor ‘Gorgeous’ George Ferguson – especially when she whispered into his ear how “very effective in delivery transformation in challenging and heavily unionised environments” she was. But alas, the relationship has soured and a permanent separation now seems inevitable.

Angie Ridgwell - ZERO LOSSMs Paidwell appears to be taking her ball home after not getting the permanent City Director top job that’s gone to Hull’s Nicola ‘Lady Gaga’ Yates, and so is heading off for the glamour of central government in That There London as she becomes Director General for Finance and Corporate Services at the Department of Energy and Climate Control. This leaves Gorgeous George and our council rather redfaced and in the lurch.

For Ms Paidwell is the person running George’s “zero-based budget process” that’s been shrouded in the utmost secrecy (see The BRISTOLIAN #4.4), quite possibly because it’s COMPLETE TOSH.

So isn’t it nice to know that when this corporate accountant claptrap eventually sees the light of day in November and is introduced to George’s unbelieving staff and public, its chief architect will be gone – along with £100k of our money!

So much for accountability in public office…

LADY GAGA PORTRAIT JOY

lady Gaga portrait

The BRISTOLIAN can EXCLUSIVELY unveil Bristol City Council’s new official portrait of City Director Nicola “Lady Gaga” Yates, created by local artist and Twitter enthusiast @guriben.

The portrait of the city’s wealthy first lady of local government will accompany all official Bristol City Council announcements and publications by Lady Gaga from Monday and it will also appear on a range of Conservative general election material from next year.

MAYOR FERGO told The BRISTOLIAN, “The portrait is magnificent. It perfectly encapsulates Nicola, her character, intellect and not insubstantial beauty. Well done to Guriben and I look forward to an interpretation of me.”

“Nicola Yates will be responsible for the delivery of the Mayor and council's vision”

“Nicola Yates will be responsible for the delivery of the Mayor and council’s vision,” says £160k Nicola Yates with tongue firmly in cheek

Lady Gaga has been described as “satisfied” with her official portrait and is said to be keen to see the painting displayed in the City Museum and Art Gallery where she may fit in nicely alongside some of  Bristol’s  other famous Conservative political figures like the slave trader EDWARD COLSTON and that old reactionary EDMUND BURKE.

The BRISTOLIAN will be commissioning further portraits from Guriben soon for some of our favourite local government officers such as country boy solicitor LIAM ‘MALFOY’ NEVIN, the less than magical new chief legal officer; ANGIE ‘PAIDWELL’ RIDGWELL, the generously remunerated chief bean counter and a farewell portrait of PR man for himself, PETER ‘CLAUDIA-JEAN’ HOLT.

Have you painted a portrait of your favourite local government officer or councillor? Why not send it in?

The best artistic rendering of GARY HOPKINS will win a prize…

BRISTOLIAN 6 HITS THE STREETS!

Front page
Featured in this edition:

» BLACKLIST BAN!
Council finally calls time on sickening anti-safety bosses

» HORSEWORLD – ROUND 2!
Horse flesh scandal!

» BEDROOM TAX BALL-UP!
Hoyty-Toyty and Co. in brewery/piss-up non-shocker

» COMMUNITY CENTRE COUP!
Plans are afoot in Easton …

» COUNCIL BOSSES SECRETLY PLOT TO BACK TORIES!
Sicko Shitty Hall Tory election plot

» ZERO CLUE ON ZERO HOURS!
May Gurney taking the piss out of Shitty Hall bosses (again)

» THE BIG B.I.D. CON!
Tory rat’s personal fiefdom paid for by you!

See the Distribution page for your local stockist – and if there isn’t one near you, let us know!

UPDATE: Digital PDF of The BRISTOLIAN #4.6 now available to download!

GUS AGAINST THE WORLD: FROM ‘EH?’ TO RPZ

Welcome to the Hoyty-Toyty World of Bristol Politics!

MONDAY:

First meeting of the new four-strong city council Green Group and it went very well indeed. We almost fill a small corner of a Committee Room now! We covered everything from how totally opposed we are to any of the cuts we vote for, to hammering out some VERY SERIOUS POLICY POSITIONS.

First in the in-tray was the super controversial Resident Parking Zones. After some frank, open discussion and very serious debate, and with brilliant input from all our councillors, we agreed a consensus policy on the issue. Basically, on the first and third Wednesdays of each month, we are totally in favour of the Resident Parking Zones. We will meet again next week to hammer out what to do if there’s a fifth Wednesday in the month. On weekdays – except, obviously, the first and third Wednesdays – when the sun shines we are against the parking zones. On weekends, regardless of the weather, we think it should be left for the communities affected to decide.

We then had a vigorous debate about rainy days and Mondays, except – obviously – any rainy first and third Wednesdays and all days on weekends – but remain undecided.

We agreed to come back to the issue next week after George had made his mind up about it all anyway. We’ve also drawn up an EXTENSIVE COMMUNICATIONS STRATEGY on the issue to cascade to all Bristol Green Party members. It reads:

IT’S NOTHING TO DO WITH US – BLAME GEORGE.

Tried to pop in to see George afterwards but he was busy in a meeting with the very independently-minded MR PERRY FROM CLIFTON, so he asked me to come back tomorrow.

TUESDAY:

Popped back up to the third floor to see George this morning and bumped straight in to a beaming MR HOLT clutching a handful of BRISTOLIANs and shouting at me, “Have you seen it? Have you seen it? I’m in it!” I congratulated him and he skipped off to show ANGIE RIDGWELL. It must be said that being called by a girl’s name in The BRISTOLIAN may well turn out to be Peter’s crowning achievement from his time in the city.

Tried to see George but he was with Mr Perry again. Indeed Mr Perry was sitting in George’s Eames chair with his feet up on his desk while George appeared to be standing listening intently. In my opinion Mr Perry was very rude telling me to go away as they were busy running the city.

WEDNESDAY:

Tried to see George again. When I got to the third floor I could hear raised voices or, rather, a raised voice that sounded rather like Mr Perry’s. It was something to do with resident parking I think and the words “Stop dithering! Just bloody get on with it, you useless red-trousered old” something-or-other.

Mostly I could hear what they were saying, but I have never heard of a ‘STANKWAIN’ before, and it’s not in My First Illustrated Dictionary. When I tapped on George’s door he immediately opened it and shouted at me to – and even as I write this I’m blushing – “Eff-you-see-kay off and stop stalking me!”

Charming! After everything I’ve done for him. That’s the last time I iron his silk pyjamas as a favour before one of his late-night list-ticking sessions.

THURSDAY:

Decided it was time to start focusing on my new cabinet portfolio. Started with council housing today and explained in detail to the council housing boss MR PALMER how I wanted a wraparound strategy to retrofit our housing for the forthcoming environmental apocalypse in place ASAP. In the meantime I told Mr Palmer to set up a Twitter account to talk up solar panels and cavity wall insulation.

Mr Palmer said he thought his housing officers would be “thrilled” by my “creative approach” as it would make a change from all that depressing Bedroom Tax Spare Room Subsidy stuff. He also invited me to his leaving do, as he’s going next Tuesday. “Who’ll be in charge then?” I asked. He just laughed and said, “SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY, GUS!”

FRIDAY:

Tried to find out today who’s in charge of the city’s council housing from next Tuesday. Nobody seemed very sure. Also bumped into my new Cabinet colleague MRS MASSEY in the corridor this afternoon. She was trying to find out who was now in charge of education as the excellent MRS HUDSON was also leaving. We both decided to call it a day and go to the cider bar at Eat, Drink, Bristol.

SUNDAY:

Attended the Reed Service at St Mary Redcliffe Church today. It’s a special ceremony for us councillors, and a great opportunity to dress up. Someone asked me if I was a Christian and I did my usual response of staring at the ground and shuffling about a bit before changing the subject. As it was the weekend, I just said, “I think the communities affected should decide on parking zones, don’t you?”

But George didn’t find it funny, though.

THE BRISTOLIAN – WEBSITE SEARCH LEAGUE TABLES

It’s been little more than a month since The BRISTOLIAN was relaunched, and already we are seeing a lot of search engine activity on some of our new best chums…

Currently in the lead – if we bundle together searches for ‘Malfoy’ as well – is baby-faced out-of-his-depth council counsel LIAM NEVIN. He nudges just ahead of ‘acting up’ City Director ANGIE ‘PAIDWELL’ RIDGWELL.

Then in joint third place come buffoonish former council boss GRAHAM SIMS, and slash-happy Mayor HIS ROYAL GEORGENESS.

Meanwhile, pulling up the rear we have a three donkey race: accounts-troubled BCC Facilities Manager TONY HARVEY, incompetent ex-top cop COLIN PORT, and in a surprise re-entry, Nevin’s predecessor STEPHEN MCNAMARA.

Of course, we have no idea how much of this frantic googling is down to the individuals concerned making constant vanity searches on their own names – perhaps a Freedom of Information request is in order..?

FERGONOMICS: CUT £35 MILLION (THEN SPEND £18 MILLION)

George buys 100 Temple Street for a bargain £18 million

Bristol’s new overlord GEORGE FERGUSON has celebrated his favourite date in the calendar – International Women’s Day – with the announcement that the City Council is to splash out £18 million on new office space in a massive overhaul of its property portfolio which will cost £70 million.

The triple dip-defying move to 100 Temple Street near Temple Meads train station – as hinted at in the last issue of The Bristolian – is a bold strategy for the Mayor, who is slashing nearly 400 jobs, cutting the city budget by a tenth and raising Council Tax by just under 2%, yet comes at a high personal cost to His Redtrouserness according to insiders.

“The new premises on Temple Street fall within Lawrence Hill, which is the fifth most male ward in the city with only 48 percent of residents being women. Whilst it’s a marginal improvement on Council House, which falls within the 47.9% female Cabot ward, it’s certainly no Westbury, which weighs in at nearly 54% women,” reveals a source close to the SINGLETON MAYOR.

Fergo apparently spent several restless nights considering the options, pacing up and down the empty, echoing corridors of Shitty Hall in the dark like a RED-TROUSERED NAPOLEON, before deciding to bite the bullet and make the move to Redcliffe.

“We were so worried we even put a proposal to him to relocate the Mayor’s office to a special temporary annex at Badminton School,” says the source. “But selfless to the last, George insisted that we fork out half the amount we’re saving in budget cuts on a prestige office complex by a roundabout.”

The Council’s new site is currently home to global accountancy firm KPMG, with whom George’s interim Corporate Services Director Angie ‘Sacker’ Ridgwell has a long history. KPMG will be the second ‘Big Four’ auditor to be made homeless in Bristol over the past year, following the ouster of Ernst & Young from their Rupert Street offices to make way for the sparkly new Bridewell police station (refurbished at a cost of just £3.8 million).

SACKER PAIDWELL APPOINTED

His Royal Mayorness George the First has announced that his newbie temporary Corporate Services Director ANGIE ‘PAIDWELL’ RIDGWELL, who only arrived in January, is to take over from Chief Exec Graham Sims in the new post of interim City Director.

Ms Paidwell has an intriguing past including a spell in 2006-08 2008-10 as Chief Exec at Thurrock Council, where she was unceremoniously dumped by the Tory administration there for a series of blunders including delivering late and incomplete accounts for the authority and getting the council threatened with a COSTLY LEGAL ACTION by big beast quango, the Thurrock Thames Gateway Development Corporation.

Picking up a secrecy-shrouded pay-off of £330k for her trouble at Thurrock, Ms Paidwell reemerged at the London Development Agency running corporate accountants KPMG’s £1.8m project to restructure the accounts of the quango shortly before it was scrapped.

Two more years down the line and Ms Paidwell reemerges in Bristol in the top job with a council press release optimistically talking up her innovative relationship with ‘Big Four’ accountancy firm KPMG. Ms Paidwell, meanwhile, describes herself as “very effective in delivery transformation in challenging and heavily unionised environments.”

In other words she’s good at sacking people.