Tag Archives: Guy Poultney

NOT A PENNY FOR GUY

While Mayor Redpants continues to cost our cuts-stricken city a fortune with his endless European jaunts, one of his former Cabinet colleagues was selflessly saving us a few quid in travel expenses. Step forward recently deposed Lockleaze councillor and the low-key, low-impact Lib Dem ‘Housing Miniature’ GUY POULTNEY.

Before being toppled by Labour’s Estella Tincknell (from, err, Clifton) in the local elections at the start of May, Poultney – a keen reader of The BRISTOLIAN, according to our city centre distributors – had been invited to Brussels to make some sort of speech at a conference – something he gleefully agreed to.

However, when Shitty Hall officials carefully explained he couldn’t claim for his girlfriend’s costs on expenses, Poultney withdrew his acceptance sharpish and decided instead to stay at home EATING BOWLS OF SHREDDIES and watching reruns of Come Dine With Me in his pyjamas.

Who says our councillors use all-expenses paid trips as cheap holidays?

NEW BRISTOLIAN HITS THE STREETS

The latest edition of Bristol’s premier investigative scandal sheet is out now, packed with the stories that the other papers can’t be bothered to cover, including…

‘THREATS’ OVER DOCKS DEATH

Rush to silence whistleblowers over ‘accidental death of a cyclist’ that could have been avoided

SELF-POLICING ACADEMY IN RACISM ROW

‘No institutional racism here’ says institution – case closed…

NO REFUNDS!

Council holds onto cash thanks to major problems with new ‘cost cutting’ system

UPDATE: “BRISTOLIAN GOT MY MONEY BACK!”

Intervention by The Bristolian wins young mum refund!

B.R.T: AN OMNIBUS SHAMBLES

Bridge row as transport scheme fiasco trundles on – George’s Stalingrad?

HORSEWORLD BOSS RIDES CHARITY INTO THE GROUND

Rehoming centre heading for knacker’s yard?

TROUGH OVERSEAS AGAIN!

Mayor’s expensive Euro jaunt habit exposed

Plus: May Gurney recycling contract blackmail; Bristol Pound celebrates Mayor’s salary; local councillor annoyed that expenses won’t cover his girlfriend; Council lies over number of gagging orders; and more from Gus Hoyty-Toyty’s Cabinet Diary.

All in your super, soaraway monthly muckraker The Bristolian!

See the Distribution page for where to get your copy…

INDY REDPANTS FOR BRISTOL!

Excitement is in the air for the forthcoming councillor elections in May after the creation of a new political party in the city that’s key selling point is that it’s really not a political party at all!

The newly formed ‘Independents for Bristol’ (IfB) party is running a slate of WELL-HEELED MIDDLE CLASS CANDIDATES across many leafy Bristol West wards – though this wholly independent, anti-establishment party does appear to have managed to avoid standing candidates against any vulnerable Lib Dem cabinet members such as Clifton East’s longstanding Minister for Culture & Junkets SIMON COOK, or over-promoted bartender-turned-Housing supremo GUY POULTNEY in Lockleaze. Now that is a surprise!

This new non-party party’s website is full of the usual inconsequential guff about integrity, openness and honesty and talks of “a new type of politician being needed” due to “widespread disillusionment with party politics in the UK”, although there’s no sign of any actual policies or beliefs they might actually pursue should they be elected.

The party-that’s-definitely-not-a-party has been set up by former BBC journalist and professional posh bloke STEPHEN PERRY, who coincidentally also set up Mayor Gorgeous’s Bristol 1st Party. It’s a fact which, when pointed out to him, gets Perry rather hot under the collar. After all, how can a self-styled anti-establishment independent posh bloke possibly have a conflict of interest or be in any way less than honest about what he is up to?

Other supporters and candidates for the party include George’s old millionaire mucker from Clifton, eco-waffler ALISTAIR SAWDAY, and one of George’s campaign workers and former Lib Dem prospect, JASON BUDD.

Independent? My arse.

NEW BRISTOLIAN OUT NOW!

Bristolian #2 - NOW OUT!

Ahoy there, shipmates – the latest issue of Bristol’s finest muckraking newspaper is now being distributed across the city as we speak!

This edition is packed full of exposés of the overpaid mediocrities running our fair town, with the focus on ‘hands-on but light touch’ MILLIONAIRE MAYOR George Ferguson and his scuttling around overseas at our expenses cooking up development deals with his old business cronies.

There’s also the scoop that Bristol City Council has brought in KILLER COMPANY ATOS – notorious for throwing disabled people off benefits – to manage its workers’ occupational health; a report on shady Facilities Management accounting and MISSING MARKETS MONEY; and news that senior officers don’t know how much of our money they’re spending on CUTS CONSULTANTS.

Throw in a round-up of how UNION BUREAUCATS are betraying ordinary Bristolians, a look at some of the candidates in the upcoming council elections, the story of the POSH NIMBY who tried to shut down a popular pub, and of course the latest entries from SIR GUS HOYTY-TOYTY’S CABINET DIARY, and you have yourself a super, soaraway scandal sheet!

Currently available from:

In addition there are copies around St. Nick’s Market, with St. Paul’s, Bedminster, Windmill Hill, Totterdown, Southville and Kingswood all being covered today or in the next few days. Precise locations will be added as they are confirmed.

More outlets will be added to the distribution list as they are confirmed, and further drop-offs can also be arranged – just get in touch.

++ STOP PRESS ++ STOP PRESS ++ STOP PRESS ++ STOP PRESS ++

Our street team reports back that this edition of The BRISTOLIAN has flown out of their hands so quickly just one day in that they’ve completely run out!

To satisfy the city-wide hunger for real news you can trust, we’ve put ordered a reprint, which will be ready for us to hit Hartcliffe, Knowle West, Sea Mills, Cotham, Hotwells – and other areas not yet covered – next week.

In the meantime, if you can’t wait to get your hands on a paper copy – or your local stockist has already run dry – download a digital version here.

PS:

This issue of The BRISTOLIAN was sent to the printers at 4am on Monday. At 11.28am Margaret Thatcher was found dead whilst “reading in bed”.

Coincidence? You decide.